"Hello?" "Hey, Brendan! Are you sitting down? If not, I suggest you do so right... now." "You're moving back to Illinois!" "What?" "Well, usually, when someone tells someone to sit, it means that really, REALLY good news is coming. And you moving back to Illinois would be the most excellent type of good news." "Awww. But that's not why I want you to sit." "What for, then?" "I am going to read you my letter." "The one I gave you?" "No, silly, the one I wrote for you." "Is it long?" "Eh... it's probably as long as yours... if not longer..." "Oh, boy." "I ran out of stamps! Besides, I just thought that, you know, you'd like to hear my voice... haha." ".................... Well, go on... read it!" "Are you sitting?" "Ummm, yes." "I didn't hear the couch." "What?" "I didn't hear the couch!" "Oh, fine. Can you hear it now?" "You can't tell, but I'm giving you the peace sign riiiight nowww. Like those Verizon Wireless commercials where the guy...." "Are you going to read the--" "Okay. Here goes: 'I remember the first time I ever set foot in Mrs. Applebee's class. It was rowdy, chaotic, and smelt of pancakes--'" "Are you serious?" Tate blinked. "What? It did, and you know it! Now, let me finish... 'this, I admit, wasn't exactly an atmosphere I wanted to learn in, but hey, what can you do? Anyway, Mrs. Applebee figured on about the second week of school that pairing us up in twos would be a brilliant way to help us interact and get to know each other. Little did I know that my partner would, hopefully and most likely, be my partner-in-crime for life. His name was Brendan Leonard, this guy I had first met in eighth grade, but never really got a chance to know. How psyched I was to be partnered up with him, because now I knew I would get my chance. Maybe I was a little too earnest back then because I called him on the very same day if I could come over on Saturday so we could get started. But, he agreed! Oh yes, he did. Working with Brendan was a blast--he played the best tunes while we worked, and it didn't hurt that he and his family were hilarious. I remember him stating casually that Edgar Allen Poe had written a piece about a crow. It hit me right then and there that I liked this boy. Mrs. Applebee gave us an A for our killer essay. Seriously, we killed. Brendan made sure to read our account of Mr. Allen's tragic life with such a dramatic air that everyone in the entire room was just hooked. Even I was enraptured. I had no idea Brendan could gesticulate and speak with the force and suspense and tragedy his voice held. Two weeks after that, Homecoming came, and I kind of wanted Brendan to ask me. I, the big doof, popped up here and there wherever he went, even though I mostly just said, 'Hi,' each time he acknowledged me. But, my friend Kayla told me he was already going with Bridget Phillips--'" "Sorry about that," Brendan interjected sincerely. Tate laughed. "Don't worry about it. Now: '--I was... not crushed, but I guess a little disappointed. However, I wasn't to go alone... my friend Ryan from geography asked me instead. What a surprise it was to find out that he knew Brendan. He even re-introduced us and everything. After that, I was invited to all sorts of outings with him and the boys. They were great! Junior and Senior Prom came, and I, well, was too old-fashioned to ask him to go with me. Not that I was expecting him to ask... I just hoped, without getting my hopes up too high. I went stag, but had an enjoyable night nonetheless. Graduation came and went, and after the ceremony, I had this need to find him amongst all the sea of other students. I did, although since I was running like a mad(wo)man, my cap was carried off by the wind, tassle included. Which stunk butt. But I didn't care... at least, not until I got home when my parents were frantically searching for the cap and tassle in the car... because there he was, with his family. Nervously, I tapped him on the shoulder, and with a look of mild surprise, he looked down at me and grinned. "Congratulations," I managed to get out. "We did it! We did it!" he replied, beaming. I glanced at all his family behind him, who were all smiling at me politely. Kerry gave me an almost knowing look and an encouraging nod. On impulse, I suddenly hugged him. It was kind of an awkward hug, and so I pulled away almost as quickly as I had wrapped my arms around him. "I'll miss you!" I blurted out, truthfully. I glanced away from his face again as mine started burning in time to see Megan mouth 'Awww,' to both Kerry and Mrs. Leonard. Matt and Mr. Leonard were grinning and filming the two of us, and embarrassedly, I looked back at him. "Really?" was all he said. My heart sunk, but I couldn't give him the reassurance that I would, in fact, miss him. In the distance I could hear my parents calling my name along with my other friends who had managed to find them. So, I waved goodbye to Brendan and the Leonards and ran all the way back to my parents...'" Despite himself, Brendan had to interrupt once more. "Well, you could've at least said, 'Yes, Brendan. Really. I will. Now gimme some sugah!'" Giggling, Tate continued on, not even bothering to address his comment. "'... I felt like a sort of hypocrite. My whole high school career, I told myself repeatedly to never leave with regrets. But he was my one regret. But I couldn't forget him. I couldn't. Don't get me wrong, the guys in NYU were, well, polite and awfully nice--'" "Heeeey." "'-- BUT there was just nothing there for me. None of them compared to a Brendan Leonard I had grown up with--'" "Oh okay." "'--nope, none of them did. But I never did forget him. I couldn't. I even talked about him to my new friends in New York. They assumed we were boyfriend and girlfriend, the way I went on about him.'" Tate paused, blushing, not quite knowing why she was. She knew Brendan couldn't see, but as a reflex, she just stopped. He was quiet on the other end. "Going for a dramatic effect?" he teased, after she hadn't continued for more than a mere twelve or so seconds. "No..." "You're blushing, aren't you? You're blushing!" "Am not!" Tate said stubbornly. "All riiiight..." Brendan replied smugly, obviously believing the latter. Miffed, and still pink, Tate carried on, "'So finally, his birthday came. He was turning the big 1-9. And it's big because... I don't know. He was a teen, but not quite, as twenty was just around the corner. He still acts like teenager up to now, of course... the poser. After much debate, I decided to give him a call to, you know, 'see what's up.' As the phone rang, I nervously bit my lip. Would he even want to talk to me still? Did he remember me? 'Y'ello.' 'Brendan?' 'Speaking.' I decided to beat around the bush about my identity. 'Cool. So what's up, Mr. Nineteen-Year-Old?' 'Er, aren't you going to tell me who this is?' 'It's a friend.' 'Elaborate?' 'From high school.' 'Okay... so. Uhh, describe yourself?' 'Well, for one, I have long-ish dark brown hair. I have brown eyes, too. And a nose, two ears (both pierced)...' 'Come on, this is getting kind of--' 'AND, I come up to your chin.' '.... Tate!' 'That's m'name!' The conversation carried on in that kind of tone, just like old times. I wanted to tell him then how I felt back then and how even now, nothing's changed... I mean, he couldn't exactly strangle me over the phone, could he? Nope, he couldn't. But then I remembered that my favorite Michael attended Fordham, which wasn't too far from where I was. Gasp, what if Brendan visited and hunted me down? So, no... I didn't tell him. But the chance was finally taken in the summer. I was back home in Illinois, naturally, and so was everyone else. It was a nice little reunion. About two weeks in, Robbie asked me what my feelings for Brendan were. And intstead of gushing like the thirteen-year-old soul I was, I just simply said 'I liked him.' I don't know why he asked... I don't know what sparked up that conversation. However.... I must say that I'm glad it came up. Things were going so well with Brendan and I... closer than ever... making phone calls... helping out with his show 24-7. But then the inevitable happened... Kooks, my little Kookie Monster, passed away. I was... depressed. It happened so suddenly, and when I wasn't there. I needed someone to cheer me up... someone to just make me feel better because Mom and Dad were still at work. So I called Brendan.'" "Could you, uh, skip this part?" came Brendan's voice softly on the other line. "I don't flame you in the letter, Brendan," Tate replied reassuringly. "'I couldn't bring myself to tell him over the phone what had happened, so I just told him I'd be there in a few. But when I got there... I didn't receive much comfort. Brendan & Co. welcomed me with waterballoons. And... I don't know what happened. I just started crying. Not because I was hurt or anything, but it was just all too much. Emotions running high... all that stuff. So I ran home... Only a street away from my house did I consider turning back. But almost seconds later, it was too late. I was already standing on my porch. Days after, I was still at home, not having been out ever since that day. Brendan didn't call, didn't visit... but Ryan did. The first time he came, we both spent the afternoon on the couch just talking. The first few days were just reminiscing about Kookie Dough, but as time passed, I began to get curious of the other boys' whereabouts. Especically Brendan's. 'You like him, don't you?' Ryan asked, doing his best not to smirk. 'Yeah. I do. But....' Ryan's smile faltered. 'But what? Brendan's a good guy.' 'That's just it!' I blurted out. 'He's a great guy. And, well, I... it's not love per se, but it's not like either. It's just... in-between.' 'Ah,' he replied, nodding. 'You don't just like him. You really, really, really, really, really like him. How precious.'" "Awww, Tate! I might have to brush my teeth... you're too sweet," came Brendan's voice again. Tate swore she could just hear the smile in his voice. Jokingly, she said, "You brush?" |
| Tate's Letter |