To Tate...

"'Yes, Ryan really said that. Seriously.

"I am going to have to send Ryan a fruit basket after this," Brendan continued amusedly.

"'And then... I got this videotape. From Paul the messenger boy. He tricked me into believing that it was another episode of the BLS. But what it truly was, was so much better.

It was an apology tape. It had Brendan written all over it... the film, that is. Every role was played by him... I could only imagine how tiring it must have gotten.. having to change costume every so often. I still watch it... it really was a great tape.

It even motivated me enough to get out there and finally see him... to see Brendan. To thank him... BUT WHAT SHOULD I WEAR!!!

That painful debate only lasted about thirty seconds because I knew Brendan liked me for who I was... and to get all dolled up would just be a little much. But... I did decide to leave my hair down. Only because I knew it was something different, and something Brendan liked seeing because it was so rare for me to do.""

"How very true! Although... I do like it when you wear your hair up in those two whatchamacallems. Two mess bun-things. Like Princess Leia, only not. Much prettier... you're blushing again. Haha! I am good."

Tate ignored him, and read on.

'"I pulled on his hoodie, too. And it was SWELTERING out. What was I thinking? Who knows? I don't think I was even thinking then. Don't you think? I just did it to... I don't know. I just did it.

I walked the way to the Leonards' house. Almost too quickly, I spotted the tell-tale wiffleball post standing in the distance. This alone gave me a spurt of energy... and as I approached, I saw him right away.

He stood on the pitcher's mound, arm in mid-throw. But then he saw me.... and he froze. I didn't know what came over me. Perhaps I was just overly ecstatic to just see him again... and it didn't matter to me that everyone was there... I just ran... straight into his arms.

The hug wasn't so awkward as it was during Graduation. Something had changed ever since then. Back then I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, but now... I think I know.

It was such a strange hug before because we were so shy... about our feelings, that is. I mean, if you think about it, the whole time we liked each other... but never said anything. And this time... it was like everything was just out in the open... we both just knew.

Just as I had expected, he noted the fact that my hair was down. I thanked him for the tape, and... well, he took my hands in his and asked if we were good. As a response, I kissed him on the cheek and said we were great.

Although it went on unsaid, this marked the beginning of our relationship.'"

"Wow, Tate."

"I'm not finished yet!"

"I know... but... wow."

"'And then... there was Jonathan."

"Drama, drama, drama.""

"'... He... well... he caused our relationship to hit the rocks a wee bit. You see... we were throwing Kevin's surprise party, and he just... I don't know... I guess I could kind of sense that he was attracted to me, or whatever, but I had Brendan there with me the whole time. You'd think that he got the picture, but... he just didn't. I've never seen his face since 'the incident.'

Near the end of Kevvie's party, Brendan was the first to leave as he had to run a couple of errands for his mom. So, Jonathan offered to escort me home. I... well, I agreed.

We talked most of the way--about the show, Ryan, and school. And then, it happened. He leaned in and kissed me.. right under the streetlight. It would have been romantic if he were Brendan and if he wasn't such a sleezeball. But he wasn't Brendan, and he was a sleezy jerk.

I was just so taken aback that my reflexes and instincts just died on me... and before I knew it, he was wishing me a good night in such a smug tone that it almost made me cringe.

What cheered me up, though, was the little surprise Brendan had left for me on my doorstep. Twenty-nine flower seeds were lying in a pile on our welcome mat. Honestly... he was so sweet.

The next day...

Brendan showed up, still dressed the way he was the night before, looking even more disheveled than usual. He worries me sometimes. Especially when he told me he hadn't slept the previous night.

I asked him why... and he just blurted right out that he had seen Jonathan kissing me under that stupid lamppost. Apparently he had been standing on my porch, watching, before taking off so that I wouldn't see him. That part just... I didn't know what to say to that.

He kept going on, all angry and frustrated and confused, and I just said it. Well, of course I eased into it, but I did it just the same. I told him I loved him. It wasn't too soon, for after all these years, it just had to be said. I loved Brendan. I did, and still do.

Then he kissed me and rested his forehead against mine. He said, 'Love you, too, Tate.'

And that's all I remember, officer.'"

"Did you really write that? That last part?" Brendan asked, laughing.

Tate grinned. "Sadly, I did. I felt I was gushing too much, so I had to make it not so gushy and lovey-dovey."

"Good job."

"''And then... the biggest thing EVER happened... my parents decided now was the perfect time for us to move all the way to the east coast... to Georgia. Where was my say in all of this? Absolutely nowhere to be found. They had all discussed this between themselves, leaving me without a choice. I had to go along with them. They were family! My only family.

And he was my one and only Brendan. How could I break this news to him? Should I even tell him?

Hah, what a stupid question. Of course I should! I couldn't just vanish without a trace and then give him a call all the way from Atlanta. That wasn't an option.

Unfortunately, breaking us off was.

I waited about three or four days to tell him. I ignored his calls, I didn't come over, I didn't answer the door whenever he visited... which was practically two or three times a day. He was concerned. Could you blame him? I was procrastinating... could you blame me?

But it had to happen. I had to do it.

I finally picked up the phone on the third ring. I really didn't want to do this. Not now. Not ever.

'Tate?' he said. 'Are you all right? You haven't been over, you haven't picked up, you haven't even answered the door!'

'Brendan... we, uh... meet me at Skokie's on one of the picnic tables... just pick one... I'll find you there.'

'Okay.'

He hung up. I guess he realized the seriousness of the situation... even if he hadn't even had the faintest idea of what the situation even was.

I took as long as possible to get there, and spotted him straight away. Right on queue, he smiled at me. I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing.

I sat beside him on the table, and he said, 'So... what's up, Tate?'

And.... I just started crying. He looked at me, astonished. 'What's wrong? Don't cry...'

He placed an arm around me, but I just bawled even harder.

Softly, yet at the same time firmly, he said, 'Tell me.'

'I'm.... we're.... we're moving.'

Silence.

'What?!' he said. He took his arm away from he and lifted my chin up so he could get a good look at me. 'You're what?'

'Moving,' I choked out.

'You cannot be serious. I mean... you can't!'

'I have to! My parents... they got this 'amazing' job offer.... they want to move.... they want the money... I have to go with them... I can't stay here.'

'You can't..... no.... not now... not... no.'

'Atlanta's so far away, and I have to live there,' I said miserably.

And then, he said it.

'Are you breaking up with me?'

I didn't say anything.

'Tate, no... you can't... I won't let you!'

'You won't let me move, or you won't let me break up with you?'

He meant both. But there was no solution.... there was nothing that could stop this...

We were breaking up. And neither of us wanted to. The circumstance just sucked. It was out of our hands...

I couldn't stand it. He looked so miserable, so depressed... I thought he was going to cry. But he didn't. He couldn't. He definitely looked it though... he was glancing around, wringing his hands, shifting his feet, refusing to look at me...

'I don't believe this... you just broke up with me.'

Not too long after, he left.... mumbling hurriedly about having to help out with editing his show.'"

"That was... very detailed," Brendan said. "It was like I was reliving that whole thing all over again..."

Tate sighed. "I know.... I'm sorry.... I just.... I just couldn't stop writing! And you were right--I do have the memory of an elephant."

"'The day of my flight, even after we had broken up and all, I kissed him. It was one of those 'one last time' things... Oh, how I hated goodbyes.

All the guys were there to bid me farewell... but it wasn't quite over yet. I wasn't about to be shipped off to the coastline without the reassurance of seeing them again.

So I struck a deal with dear old Dad.

And.... well, let's just say that I did see Brendan again. I still do... you see, I convinced my father to allow me to attend DePaul University. It was prestigious enough, so.... off I went.

Boy, was mine and Brendan's reunion just.... he was as ecstatic as his deadpan self could get. I was his house warming present, courtesy of Ryan Turner.'"

"Best. Present. Ever."

Tate's Letter