TheChickenNuggit's Journal 5/24/05 Today was pretty fun, I think. It was the Seniors' last day and everyone was emotional and envious and excited. For Writers Workshop we wrote chalk lyrics in front of the school. I wrote part of A Perfect Circle - "The Outsider." Then I put arrows to it saying 'read this.' Then since there was extra time, I got the brilliant psycho idea of putting my website URL in chalk along the path, too. Then my friends pointed arrows and wrote stuff. Markus wrote, "This is the wOOtness of sites!" and I was very proud. I don't think it'll bring people to come to this site, unless there are psychos like me who'll immediately bring out a pad and paper and copy down the URL to visit later. But people who have already seen the URL and know it's mine, will think I am obsessed with my site. Ah well. I am not obsessed with this site, I'm just very proud of it and it's really fun. It's what I've always wanted, and I have it, and I keep working on it because I love it so much. I went to the dentist after school, and though I was dreading the dentists' unhappy faces telling my mom's unhappy face that I had ten cavities that needed to be X-rayed and drilled, it turned out that I did not have any cavities at all! I was very relieved. I will still brush my teeth though. And swish my flouride rinse. That ACT Flouride rinse saved my enamel and my mom's money. That stuff is great. Thank you, ACT Rinse. Hafta gohhhhh because eleven o cluck. Darrr thechickennuggit 5/31/05 Ya know, I started writing this wonderful journal entry, and I was putting so much effort into it to the point where I researched this thing before I was going to put it on here, and the computer crashed and restarted and everything, everything was lost. I didn't save it, so everything was lost. There's no Undo button, there's no Back button. There's nothing I can do. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I just sit here with this huge lump of grief in my throat, with my eyes watering both from frustration and from looking at the computer screen for too long. My mom came in a few minutes ago, saw my face and started freaking out because I looked so scared. Well, I wasn't scared. I was devastated, disappointed to the point where I was speechless. I'll just outline what I'd said. No, never mind. It's pointless. I'll provide this link, though. Download Movie or See it Streamed It's a movie called "Everything is gay", and it cracks me up every time I watch it. (Maybe I need to watch it right now) I recommend downloading it rather than streaming it, because if you stream it, your computer will effing crash and you will DIE like me. Unless you have high-speed. And the movie.. well, it's also relevant because my sister came over this weekend and brought her guyfriends and went to gay bars. And I discovered that there is indeed a gay guy at my school. He plays Dungeons and Dragons. He's friends with my friends, and he's friends with my friends' friends too. So I made a new friend today :). There.. I ended up recreating my dead journal entry. Sort of like that boy in the movie Godsend. Their son dies, and they miss him, and so they get a clone of him who is almost exactly like him... but becomes disturbed and murderous in the end. I hope I didn't ruin the movie for you. This atrocious premenstrual syndrome is morphing me syzygially into an apallingly dramaticizing polytrocha. thechickennuggit 6/2/05 Oh goodness, I just changed all the journal pages so that each page holds more entries, and they finally have olive-colored dividers so it's easier to read. I also put all these journal pages into a "folder" so the URL is now journal-slash-page#.html instead of being journal_#.html. Took me long enough to figure that out. I've been wanting to do that for a long while now. But I am soooo glad that I got this done. I'm especially happy about the dividers. I made them myself on paint. I've had a really hot temper the last two days. It sucks. Someone would say or do something that I don't like, and I would just steam and broil inside and I'd feel like I'm going to pop. I don't like this temper. It's fun being angry sometimes, but not this angry. So yoga club was really helpful today. Today was the last meeting of the year! It was fun! I really got to relax, and sooth my poor body that's been laboring for the past week with only an average of five hours each night. My head hurts. Ugh. Anyways, but since it was the last day, we finished yoga about ten minutes before 4:30, and chatted about this club. Then Mrs. Christianson brought out some Haagen Datz ice cream bars and we feasted! I had a chocolateandalmonds covered coffee ice cream bar. So delicious. I got in touch with Natalie the other day! So glad. I need to see her once it's summer. And catch up. It's just not the same as talking on the internet. I really do like talking face-to-face better than instant messenger. Oh, and my sister is coming up on Saturday. Good. I need to show her the Everything is Gay video. She might like it. She'd probably hate it at first, because she doesn't like using the word "gay" in a negative manner. But, but, but. She must see it. It's 11:24 pm, and tomorrow is Friday. Then another full 5-day school week. Then Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and school is over....!!!!!!! Weeelll, between those days, I have to finish 3 essays all for the same class, 7+ tests, and more assignments. I hope I am able to graduate Freshman year. Yes I have A's in most of my classes. I don't have my Job Shadow essay done yet, though, and I can't graduate the year without it. I must get moving, as some would say. Shake your bootie, thechickennuggit 6/4/05 My sister is coming today. It's ten o'clock right now, and she'll be here in an hour! Yay. I'm going to make her listen to my new Perfect Circle CD, and show her all the movies and stuff on the computer. Plus she's bringing cake. I spent this beautiful Saturday morning doing homework! Wonderful, yes? I woke up at like eleven, and right away started on my math take-home test. Oh yeah, I was working on it last night and stayed up until.. just midnight, not too late, but I was so tired I kept falling asleep even though I was awake. I was listening to the radio, and as I was "sleeping" on top of my test the words and phrases filtered into my head and I had a few "dreams". It was weird. It was fun. Then I decided to go to bed. I had a dream during the night, and yes, it was again a not-happy dream. I've been having a lot of those lately. The other night, it was bad because everyone hated me and they booed me out of the talent show, and Logan sent me a chain letter and it was going to kill me.. he sent it to Scott, too. Scott and Logan was about to fight. God I hate chain letters. Anyways, the one I had last night, I was reading the new Harry Potter book (the sixth one that hasn't come out yet) and I was walking home from school. The book, at least the start, was not good. I was very disappointed. I kept reading, and walking, and it was painful to read because it kept disappointing me by being so bad.. then suddenly I was sort of in the book, but not really, and I was following this old man wizard person, and he got onto a really high up mesa. I needed to get there too. So I used my small boomerangish thing that flew when I got onto it, and I went up, up up into the sky. There were people behind me trying to get me, so I had to get onto the mesa fast. I was over the mesa, and it was in the shape of a B, and the wizard was telling me to figure out what had happened.. like there was a mystery and the answer was to find out what happened to make the mesa like that. But the people chasing me had boomerang things too, and they came up and chased me... I couldn't focus on the mystery because I had to keep moving. Anyways they kept chasing me and we zoomed around in the sky. The colors I remember vividly are brown, and blue and green. Finally they caught me, and they had caught the wizard (who had turned into an old woman), too, and made her forget me. I decided to put sunscreen on her and me. The sun was burning hot. The person who captured me put on some sunscreen, too, when I offered her some. Have to go, thechickennuggit 6/9/05 I was really stressed last night because the huge Focus Final Project thing was due today. I wrote my career narrative, staying up til 2am to finish it. It's stupid. And I didn't do my resume, and so I didn't turn that in with my essays. That's going to kill some points. At least I didn't have to present my Power Point today. Good thing we ran out of time. I need to put some finishing touches on it. I'll get up early tomorrow and go work on it at school. I tried to get up early to work on it, but I ended up getting up at the normal time, so I started freaking out. And I was really really tired too. Today was just a freaky day. I was stressed out. It's not fun. Since today is Wednesday (it's actually Thurs because it's 12:54am) I have five days left of school!! Not counting weekends. Yes.. I took a nap today, for about five hours. I slept for three hours at first, really good sleep, restful, then I woke at 7 and I was really befuddled. The phone kept ringing and so I picked it up, and it was a lady asking for my mom. I thought it was 7 in the morning and my mom wasn't home (she was driving Reina back to the university) so I was really confused. I didn't know where she was. The lady asked me when she was going to be home, and I kept saying things like, "I really don't know..." and "Ohhh, where is she?" and I sounded pretty mentally retarded. When I got my brain back, I realized it was 7pm and not am and yeah.. I thought it was funny. I can't even write really well right now. Maybe I should eat dinner, because I'm hungry because I only had a bowl of stew at nine for my dinner. Naps always messes everything up, and that's why I don't like naps. But since it's 1am now I shouldn't eat or else I won't be able to sleep. Mm, I'm going back to the house. I'm going to have a drink. I didn't have breakfast today, either. I guess I just don't have an appetite today. This whole day my stomach felt funny, and my head felt funny, and the whole environment and my skin and flesh felt funny. I felt nauseous. Today may have been the worst day of the year. Of course it wasn't all bad. Parts of my day were ok. I'm just going.. insane.. and it's going to happen and I wish it happens fast, not so slow and gradual it sucks. What am I talking about? thechickennuggit 6/14/05 Today was the last B day of school. I'm in my math class right now, and there's nothing we have to do. Everyone's just gone, since it's the last period of the day.. so I'm just sitting here alone in class with the teacher. So I'm working on my site here, taking advantage of the high-speed internet. This is my talent show thing. The talent show is tomorrow. I'm not sure how it's going to work, but I guess someone's going to just have my website open on a computer in class and people can click around. Everyone's supposed to participate in this talent show, and it doesn't have to be anything performed. So people are bringing posters of their hobby. Mine is an interactive poster! So I'm going to put some more in this website to show off to everyone. I worked on here a little last night, organized my drawings some, and oday I'll pu some new wonderful wonderful things on there. Yeep... my dad's going to pick me up, so I should go in a few minutes. It's so quiet in here. It makes me feel lonely. Today is the last B day. Tomorrow is the last day of the school year. No more waking-up-early for three hot slow boring months, no people, no socializing, no nothing. Just silence. Silence, thechickennuggit 6/21/05 I don't feel good. God, it's been a while since I wrote in here. A lot has happened... sort of. At least it feels like a lot to someone like me. Heh. I am so worn out right now, so tired, irritable. I feel horrible. But I'll probably feel better in ten minutes. The day after school got out, I got my permit, and I passed the test on the first try. I was pretty surprised with myself. When I got the card, the stupid digital signature pad thingy messed up my usually beautiful signature. But it's still more beautiful then the picture on the other side. Well, at least I got it, and yesterday I took my first try at driving my mom's automatic on the road. My mom was freaking out the whole time, saying I was going to fall off the road because I was driving as far away from the center yellow lines as possible, and it felt natural but apparently I was off-center. I was freaking out, too, because she was freaking out about falling off the road and running into a ditch, blah-di-blah-di-blah. I pulled over and let her drive. Oh, and also in the school parking lot (the school I don't got to anymore) where I was first practicing, I saw my old Spanish teacher, whatshisface. I hated him during middle school. I loathed him and wanted to beat him dead with a club in an insane frenzy. But that was because I was, well, insane during middle school. But he was okay when I saw him this time because I had the car and I could run him over if I suddenly had the urge to. Ha ha. No. Anyways, he was complaining that half of his freshman class had failed his class. I'd heard that his class was really hard. It's really sad. Most of them I know are really smart. Aaaanyways, back to the driving. Today, I drove from school straight back home. I actually drove it. I'm really proud of myself. I improved a lot from yesterday. I actually kept inside the lane. And. I saw "Howl's Moving Castle" downtown a few days ago. I was disappointed when I realized it was dubbed, not subtitled. It was still a good movie I guess, the world was amazing. Like all his other movies. I guess it's just the dubbing that really messed me up, because the voices didn't really fit the characters, somehow, and the voices made the characters sound really... cheesy. It pained me. The stupid dubbing. I wish they'd have the balls to play the original version with SUBTITLES. Subtitles rock anyways. Even if it's already in English. (Remember, I'm irritated already and I could rant on forever about any little thing.) Also, I dropped the biology class. Just too expensive. I didn't want to go to class thinking, "$200 + $159 + $520 + $46..." and so on in my head. Sooo, a few days ago, my dad woke me up at 9am saying something about taking a Computerish class at the college. And right there, I hopped out of my bed and ran to get the class listings and search for a Flash class. I really want to learn flash. I want to make movies. I found Flash 1 and Flash 2. I was really, really excited. It was going to start the next day (today) and it actually prerequisite thingy, for Web Publishing. I told my dad I didn't have to worry because I already knew how to publish on the web. But, we didn't sigh up for it anyway, we decided to just show up at the class and talk with the instructor first. I was really confident that I'd get in, I was excited to know that I was finally really going to learn how to make Flash movies (or even a wimpy little thing, I didn't care) and I was nervous, because it was going to be my first college class. So today we went there, my dad came with me, we went up to the door. There was a bright orange sign, saying Class Cancelled. I said, "That sucks, I wonder if there'd be an extra class to make up for this lost day." Then my dad explained to me that, no, the whole darn class was cancelled. Not enough people had signed up, probably. I've been reading Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants finally. It is a good book. It is really girly, too. The girls kept crying, they kept being all mushy about their friendship, almost all of them found guys to swoon over (and get together with), and so on so forth. It made me feel like I had no life. Maybe that's why I like depressing books so much. It makes me think, "I'm not messed up that much in comparison to this character." Or something like that. I hate perfect characters. Even when they're not perfect, they can still be like a Barbie-doll sort of imperfection. Am I making sense? No. What? I'm confused... Ug I'm tired. It's 10:45. The reason I'm tired is, I just came home from a swimming class. When I learned that I can't take Flash1, I realized I could take swimming, and the time wasn't clashed anymore. So I registered for it, went home, gathered my swimsuit etc, came back, and swam. I took the Adult swimming class because the lady had said most people in the School-age class was a lot younger than me. Well, when I actually got in the pool I learned that the four other people in my class was all around 40 and 50 and they all did not know how to swim at all. It sucked. It sucked. It sucked. Maybe I should change to a different class. I don't know though, what's the point? Maybe I shouldn't take any classes during the summer. None seem to work for me. I need to see people, though. People my own age. I am already starting to go crazy from being alone, being with my mom or my dad, all the time. I wish I had a job. I just need to see people. Just see them. That's all. Introvert? thechickennuggit 6/22/05 Today I woke up at 1pm. It's because I stayed up til 5 am. I was messing around on the internet until 1am, then I started downloading Flash MX, and I saw that it was going to take 3-4 hours. So I went back to the house and had some snacks to keep me up, and read Sisterhood. I finished it. Then I picked up Kerosene and started reading that. It's kind of descriptive, and it goes on anecdotes a lot, so I think I fell asleep for a bit. I was lying down on the bathroom floor for some reason. I woke up at 5, went out to the shed, the downloading was done, I shut down the computer, and went to bed. I sleep on the floor in my room now because everything's a mess in there. About a week ago, I realized how icky my room was, there was mold growing on the window. I thought of how I slept there every night, the mold spores drifting up my nostrils. YUCK. So I slept on the living room couch for a few nights, then my mom told me not to anymore. So I took down the mega-dusty curtain, and then picked up a few rags and some PineSol and started rubbing the black cancerous spots on the window's metal frame. But there was one place where I was too scared to go with the already black poisonous rag, so I had my dad attack it with a chisel for me. It was really disgusting. That night I slept on the couch again, because I wanted the dust from the curtain to settle and the fumes of PineSol to subside. Even then, I was too scared to sleep on the bed, so I put the mat on the floor on top of all the clothes, and slept there. The good thing is, Zaggy doesn't crawl on top of my neck during the night. She hangs out on the empty bed, still. But I had to get up last night quite a few times to kick her out of my room, because she was running and being crazy on top of the bed, messing up my papers and folded clothes. All day today, I read Kerosene. It's so painful. So my mind and emotions were in disarray. My dad wanted me to call the pool to switch my swimming class to something else, but I didn't want to use the phone, and it was all a big deal and I couldn't think straight. I love books but they change my mood very dramatically. It's like music. I get influenced really easily, I guess. I thought this entry would be a short one, but alas. thechickennuggit HOME+++ABOUT ME+++JOURNAL+++DRAWINGS DREAM+++STORIES+++LINKS+++GEMSTONES
This song is by Amadeus? Sebastian Bach, and it's his Brandenburg Concerto Number 3. Oh yeah. Rock out to this one, people! No really--I think it's my favorite classical song.
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