C'mon, do I even need to ask? They don't call him Howard the DUCK for nothing. Howard would duck under all of Hulk's shots and then punch him in the face until he was dead. End of fight. Howard would MURDER the Hulk easy.

HULK vs. 1980's TEEN IDOL SCOTT BAIO

I wonder who would win in this sure to be epic match-up - the Incredible Hulk or "Happy Days," "Joanie Loves Chachi," and "Charles in Charge" star, Scott Baio. Sure the Hulk is invulnerable and all, but just for fun let's make it the Savage, "Hulk Smash!" Hulk, without Banner's intelligence. Don't you think that old Scott Baio would have the unbeatable wit of Willie "Buddy Limbeck" Aames on his side? It's a toss-up if you ask me. 

More food for thought - the jade giant vs. Saved By The Bell's Dustin "Screech" Diamond! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it!

I was just thinking - isn't it EVERY fanboy's dream to tangle, one-on-one, "mano-a-mano" as the French would say, with ol' Jade Jaws? I know I've had several dreams about that very subject. I wonder what the result of that titantic match-up would be. Sure the Hulk is incredibly strong, and full of rage, blah, and I'm a skinny teenager who plays tennis. But still, it'd be interesting! It's kinda in the air, if you ask me. I'd like to hear your guys's thoughts!!!!

The subject says it all!!! The gamma giant vs. the grey matter of the vilest dictator the 20th century has ever known! I gotta go Hitler's brain for this one! Sieg heil!

Let's see. The Hulk's show lasted, what, a week? And every episode was the same. DAVID Banner (was that his non-gay TV name?) travels around, meets chicks and stuff, and then gets mad and turns into the Hulk. MASH on the other hand lasted a decade and had jokes and stuff. So I think in a fight MASH would win.

I think the Universe would EASILY beat the Hulk b/c the Universe is, like, everything, and the Hulk is just one guy (no matter how strong old Jade Jaws is). Also, interestingly enough, the Universe would actually include the Hulk, so the Universe would know all the Hulk's secrets and weaknesses. That would make it even easier for the Hulk to die before the mighty hand of the Universe.

Here's a sure-to-be-classic match-up, that Paul Jenkins MUST deliver!!! The Incredible Hulk vs. the Son of God. Two will enter, but only one can win!!! I would think to go with the Hulk for this one, as Jesus (vulgate of St. Jerome version, pre-King James) would start up with his "turn the other cheek" stuff, and Hulk would simply "SMASH!" as he is want to do. It'd be even, but I think Jesus would pull something out of his bag of tricks, and pull out the victory. It'd make a great Prestige Format one-shot, that's for sure!!! 

How about a trickier one - three-on-one, Hulk vs. the team of Jesus, Mohummad, and Abraham!!! CAN these three faiths co-exist? Should be a nail-biter!

Please. Hulk is a comic book character, and Marvel would be nothing without Free Enterprise. Hulk is very dead. If everyone makes the same amount of money, there's no incentive to work harder! Ergo, Hulk wouldn't work hard in the fight. He's done.

Well, the Hulk is one bad dude, but the SAT's are THREE HOURS LONG. Hulk would get tired and bored. Then maybe he'd break both of his pencils and have to pee and stuff. So I'd have to go with the SAT's here. Sorry, Hulksters.

It's the battle WE the fans asked for! The Hulk against the 18th century Turks, winner takes Constantinople!!! I think ol' jade jaws, unfortunately, gets creamed here. Opinions?

Hulk's strong and all and he knows unconstitutional when he sees it. 'Ol Jade Jaws would rip the Ten Commandments down off the wall if he saw it in a public school so fast! But then the Christian Coalition would probably just have him assassinated. So the Hulk would lose.

This is an easy one. Dr. Bruce Banner might have been belted by gamma waves, but there are like 109 elements!!!! the Nobel gases alone could take him, sadly. Three words for Hulkie - full outer shell.

Stronger men than the Hulk have tried to defeat homework. Hulk's a goner.

Some people might disagree with me here, but I'm going with JLH here. She's cute, she's bubbly, and she's got that cool Carson Daly guy on her side. Well, at least she did. Who the he-double-hockey sticks does Hulk have? Rick Jones? Please...besides, Hulk has never had his own spinoff on the Fox network, just a crappy cartoon on the *snicker* UPN network!!!

This is a hard one. Hulk is strong and doesnt fall for cute girls too often, but man she has those little dimples. I have to give it to the little girl because she would bring out her own hulkish roar and blow him away.

Also, the girl is a voice mimic. She could mimic Hulk's dad's voice and make him all scared. Then she could easily inject Hulk with some sort of deadly poison.

Hulk is very strong, I'll give him that. But greed is responsible for all the evil of history AND it's even one of the seven deadly sins. I don't think the Hulk could do anything to defeat greed. "Hulk vs. Greed" does sound like a cool title for a charity one-shot, though.

This one is obvious. The creator always wins!! As much of a fan of the ol' Gamma Giant I am, I gotta think the re-animated corpse of Jack Kirby takes this in a cakewalk, with or without help from the re-animated corpse of Roz Kirby. I don't even think that the Gray Hulk could handle those odds! And he was smart!

Ok, this is a REALLY tough one. So you have to think about it. First, what comes to mind when you think of Hulk? Incredible. And Thor? Mighty. I think Mighty sounds stronger than Incredible. So there's a point for Thor. 

Hmmm, let's see, Thor isn't bulletproof, so Hulk could just get a gun and shoot Thor to death. But Thor's got his hammer which he can spin around a lot and hit the bullets away. I do know for a fact that Thor is so skilled with his hammer that he could hit one of the deflected bullets into the Hulk's eyeball. Hulk would grabbin' his eyeball and crying like a baby b/c it would hurt so much. Then Thor could take a big knife and cut off Hulk's head until he was dead.

 Thor wins!

At first, this one seems a bit one-sided. I mean, how in the world could even _ME_, the staunchest Hulk fan, think that he could defeat a dead stillborn baby? But remember, even Spider-Man defeatd Fire Lord, and he used to be a herald of GALACTUS for crying out loud! So, the aborted fetus in a land-slide.

This is a real tough one to call. Kevorkian only takes out people who want to die. He'll have to find a way to depress the Hulk to the point of being suicidal before he can really do his thing. So the real question is if Hulk has it together in the head enough to stay optimistic long enough to get a solid hit in. After all, Hulk is really strong so 1 good hit would probably take out Kevorkian. However, we all know Hulk is a total mental case, so it's Kevorkian in the end. 

This is absoulutly no contest.

Its Alvaro!

This seems kind of lop-sided, huh? How can one male reproductive organ take on a founding member of the Avengers? Well, think of what that particular member has been through!!! It's pretty much indestructible. John Wayne Bobbit's Penis, after a long, hard-fought battle. No pun intended, although you may find that hard to swallow.

Please. 

Let's look at some facts here, shall we? The Hulk is cool and all, but he's a FICTIONAL character. The Olson twins on the other hand, are merely animatronic robots. And adorable ones at that!! Plus, there's two of them! And they've starred in their own TGIF sitcom on ABC, plus a series of videos! This one's not even a contest. Even Uncle Joey could see that!

This ones easy, the Blair Witch.  Hulk goes into a forest, gets lost, starts loosing things, and then wammo black screen.

Nuff said. 

First off, we all know what a strong guy the Hulk is. From that we can logically infer that he is a strong lover as well. However, the Hulk is still a man, and he is getting older. I mean, even a real manly man like Bob Dole suffers from this problem. So, unfortunately, despite swallowing a 10 lb. viagra pill, Hulk would ultimately lose. After that Betty (who's alive again) would divorce him and marry Rick. Hulk would be so torn up from jealousy that he would through himself off of a cliff. But b/c he's the Hulk he'd probably get stuck in the ground. So not only can Hulk not get erections, but he's stuck in the ground where he will slowly starve to death - becoming food for the vultures. Sounds like a loss to me, Hulksters.

I don't care how strong Hulk is. Those Teletubbies are some damn freaky little things. I don't think the Hulk's fragile mind could take it. His feeble brain would simply shut down. No contest here. It's over in seconds and Tinky Winky is free to have his way with ol' Jade Jaws. 

Let's be reasonable here, shall we? The Hulk is nigh-invulnerable, incredibly strong, and an uncanny healer; he posseses boundless rage and destorys everything in his path. Casper is a children's character, and apparently a dead little boy. The concpet of a kid's cartoon character revolving around the spirit of a dead kid is too creepy for even the Hulk to handle.

 Casper in a cakewalk.

The Can of Mountain Dew. And I'm not even talking about a 20 oz. Big Slam or 2 liter (technically, those are bottles, and not cans anyway). Here me out. 

I know some naysayers will astutely point out, "But Albert...a can of Mountain Dew is an inanimate object! Surely the Incredibly Hulking Hulk can topple this foe!" I see thee...NAY! 

Look, the Hulk may be incredible, but Mountain Dew is "Dew-rific." Although I'm kinda confused as to what that actually means, I know that the stuff sure makes you want to urinate pretty badly. So Hulk drinks down the 12 ouncer, and runs for the nearest port-a-potty. Keep in mind that the Hulk is a pretty big guy. He'd get stuck in there, and some passer-by would, as the Hulk is always wanted by the authorities, pick up the can and throw it as hard as possible, lodging it into his brain, through his eye, collecting the reward. 

I'm sorry Hulk fans, but the Mountain Dew wins. Maybe Mug Root Beer would have better luck. Perhaps a 20 oz. bottle of Surge. Maybe.