"hello," said the elephant, "whatrs your name?"
"erik" I relplied. I was begining to wonder what I should do, run, get out my gun, or talk to the elephant.
"thats a cute name" said the elephant, "wanna climb up on my back and ride to my friends party, it is interforest buch trimming day and we are having a big party, naturally we are all peaceful with eachother this day."
I was studying zoology at the time and just having an elephant talk to me was strange. So, being the individual that I am, I decided to climb up on the elephants back.
"so you animials get along well then do you?
"no, see this is a special day, the big clay man says that we cannot eat eachother on bush trimming day."
bush trimming was sounding interesting to me, was it some sort of sexual inuendo for inter species breeding day. did all the animals get out the glippers and attack the 70's children one day and thus was born bush trimming day? I will never know.
Any ways, we arrived at the forested cove where we saw lions, seals, hippos, and all sorts of other animals. for some reason they were all opening their mouths or licking eachother. ecxept for the penguin. "hello there penguin," i said.
"im not a penguin goddamnit," it said, "im a fucking comic book character."
"ohh, are you superman?" I joking asked.
"fuck you, I'm wolverine from Xmen ya bastard."
I could see a resemblence in its hair doo. But then again it was a talking penguin as far as I could tell.
"god fucking people all being naked on this bush trimming day," the penguin ran over to a pair of local nudists and out of each wing sprouted 3 metalic claws.
"urraugh," in an instant two bodies lay on the ground, blood gushing out onto the penguin, who was dripping with blood. "ill show those fuckers, people around here just cnat keep their clothes on it pisses me off so goddamn much. arrgh fuckers."
I slowly turned around to the sight of a yawning sealion.
"why dont you come over here, sugar?" suggested the lion. it was oviously a lioness, the way her eyes batted and her sideburns were flowing around her ears.
"uhh, no thanks babe" i said "ive got alot of drinking to do before that happens." ha, the perfect back handed complient. now if i ever decide to steal her flower I can just go over there and give her a tregular compliment. thats the easiest way to get them to be flattered, acty like you dont care and then take what you need.
i decided it was time to go home. as I walked away from the cove a Hippo stopped me
"where do you think your going boy. "
"uhm, im going home, ive had quite a long day."
"well get over here and go for a swim with me, ive been drinkin' all afternoon and I dont think that I can float much longer."
the hippo didnt know that his body was very boyant without him having to work, I thanked him for the invitation and began to walk away. i looked back to see the hippo flipping upside down in the watter and kicking his little stubby legs, back and forth, back and forth.
"syncronized swimmers" i thought
to be continued.
