BERNIE SERRAO

Other Bio's: Band | Neil | Mike | Mark | Bernie

Plays: Rhythm & lead guitar, vocals, lead triangle, violin, accordion, rhythm tuba, Sega and Sony Playstation.

Musical background: Living in Bosnia as a child, I was forced to play spoons to entertain the high priestess. After a night of bad milk, my solo was left something to be desired so she instructed me to learn the guitar. "Smoke on the Water" being the first guitar lick I ever learned got me a job at 10 years old working for the circus. By day, I would scoop elephant poop and by night I would entertain the freaks with my renditions of Frank Zappa, Neil Diamond and Liberace. Going home one day on the bus, I ran into this wierdo who asked me about the case I had that looked like a guitar. Little did he know it was actualy a collection of 9 mm revolvers but he asked me if I played guitar anyways. I replied yes, and that is how I met The Dawgs.

Best known for saying: "Was I supposed to bring my guitar?"

Influences: Pink Floyd, Doris Day, Falco, Mozart, Annette Funicello, Skippy Peanut Butter, Wierd Al Yankovic, The A&W Root Beer Bear, Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine, Jack Daniels, Jed from the Beverly Hillbillies, Ethel Merman, Phyllis Diller, Porky Pig and Mighty Mouse.

Most likely to order: Have you got a veggie plate?? No? Then I'll have the chili.

Role within the band: Duct Tape Boy, Playstation and Sega Representative and Vice President in charge of Lopez Transportation.

Most embarrassing moment on stage: That time I just, like, totally forgot where I was. Oh yeah, and the time my Digitech didn't work.

What I like most about playing with The Dawgs: Gets me away from the stresses of the day. And thrashing the guys at NHL 2000.

Gear (for you fellow guitarists out there): Guitar and amp. Oh, and have you seen my new 4-way controller for Sega?

You can e-mail Bernie directly at bernie@I-dont-have-an-email-address.com.