Once upon a time there were four pretty little girls in pink dresses and ribbons. There was Liz the fire crotch,
Jessi the c-cup, Sarah the alcoholic, and Beth, the one with a boyfriend. One summer a long, long time ago they
decided to start a death metal band. Then Jessi bought a pet monkey because she's always wanted one. Sarah, wishing
she had a cool pet too, went out and bought a monkey, too. Liz didn't want to miss out on the monkey business either
so she bought one. Beth didn't need to buy one because she had Eric. Jessi taught her monkey to sing, Liz taught
hers to play the bass guitar, and Sarah taught hers to play the keyboard. Beth attempted to teach Eric to play the drums
but he insisted that he already knew how. The girls dressed them in sombreros and bikinis and Eric and the three monkeys
joined to form the band The Living Adults. Click here to see a photo taken at one of their gigs. Everyone soon discovered that, although monkeys learned instruments much quicker than Eric, they still didn't have the needed edge of a death metal band. The monkeys were then sacrificed on an altar (Eric was spared) and the girls put on the sombreros and bikinis (Sarah's was itchy because her monkey had lice). The girls got together in Andy's garage and started practicing. Soon they
had a few songs and called themselves The Dead Babies. Everyone lived happily ever after.
Jessi: "He said we sound less like death metal and more like New Age."
Liz: "New Age? What, like Yanni?"