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| Welcome to the first of the new interviews here on TDD. I was able to ask Bowser to answer a few questions. He is this site's protector as no one else was available, so he took the position and has doing his job for about a year now, or maybe it was longer. Please note that if he suddenly develops a craving for meat, please exit the room so fast, he won't be able to catch up, thank you. |
| Davis: Hi Bowser, I'm glad you allowed me to interview you on such short notice. Bowser: Yeah, well make this quick, or your life will be on such short notice if you know what I mean. Davis: Uh, yeah. Let's get started with this interview. Why did you decide to become the site guardian here at TDD? Bowser: Well, when you phoned me on my private hotline and I do mean private, you were begging for me to help you. You also said that I was the only one was available to take the job. I mean come on, where was everyone else? Davis: On vacation perhaps? Bowser: That's what they told me when they got back from Vegas, but that's another story right there. You sounded so desparate so I said, yeah I'll take the job. I needed the cash but the real reason was to strike fear and terror into all who came here. I have an image to maintain. Davis: Your resume didn't say anything about your image. Bowser: Like I'd put that in for something. Davis: Good point, next question. After being here for so long, how have you liked working here? Bowser: I've enjoyed every moment. I've kept a list of how I'm going to hunt down. They thought it was all a joke, but it ain't. I just need to add a few more people to it and then I can go and hunt them all down.*giggles* Davis: And how pray-tell, do you plan on doing that? Bowser: I have my own internet connection and it has been keeping records of everyone coming here, so I have nothing to worry about. I know their IP address' that and the last 3 places they've gone too every second that passes. It takes so much effort to running my system, that I have my own squad working on it. Davis: What about the conditions of working here? Bowser: I was hoping for the royal treatment, but I didn't get that. What do you expect for a lousy $1.50 for a 24 hour per day work shift? I do get some sleep during which my stand-in takes over, usually during rush-hour. Davis: Rush hour? Bowser: Haven't you heard of the internet speed highway? It's like traveling on a road, except your doing it at home and online. Davis: This is the last question as we're running out of time. What do you plan on doing after this stint? Bowser: Are you kidding? Davis: Not really. Bowser: Oh, well in that case, I plan on kidnapping Peach again and making life horrid for Mario and what's his name, Luigi....gee that guy needs to have more adventures of his own. I'm starting to forget who he is. Oh yeah, and I still plan to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom, and golf at the same time. Davis: Golf? Bowser: Yeah, I golf! I'm lethal with a club, hitting it with one hand and showing off my power. Davis: And girth.... Bowser: And girth.....no! That's not a reason! Golfing is a hobby of mine. Besides, I can use it to win another over Mario, and if that works, I'll whip him in the ring and harass Peach all I want....but not too rough of course. Then I'll conquer the kingdom. Davis: Sounds like you'll have to wait until this site shuts down. Bowser: Not really. I can do all that and still protect this place on the side. If you know of anyone that can help me, I'd appreciate it. Davis: How about Ganondorf? Bowser: He'll do nicely. He and I can rock this joint and the whole World Wide Web with our combimed evil deeds. We'd rule!!!! Okay, this interview is over! I need to get back to adding people to my list of those I'm going to hunt down. Hey you! The kid in Vegas, I'm coming for you first....as soon as my list is complete and I have a picture of your face. Davis: That's my line, minus the threat*sweatdrops* anyway, thanks Bowser for your time and have fun hunting. |
| After the Interview: Bowser did finish his list and went after the kid in Vegas dispite going to Alaska and New York due to getting wrong directions from his navigator. He also got a raise to $5.50 and was able to beat Mario in fighting, but not golf, and he waits to harass Peach and as for Luigi, Bowser plans to ask him for a picture so that he can remember him. **No one was hurt in his interview, although I can't say the same for that kid in Vegas.** Up next: My interview with the Great Ganondorf on May 9 in Part 1 of Nintendo at E3 with Part 2 next week at E3. |