Kameko: Alrighty everybody!! I have decided to create a play. It might be a tad bit scary… so little children need to depart now, if you please. Thank you!! Buh-bye! Ok, Now for the play… It’s called Child of the Tortoise.

Crystal: Oooh… Should I be afraid??

Rachael: (Who has heard Kameko’s Child of the Tortoise play), Yes… You should be afraid. You should be very afraid. You should be very very afraid. You should be very very very afraid. Vou should be very very very very…

Crystal: Oh, shut up already.

Rachael: Mmmm??

Crystal: YES! YES! I have conquered the evil Rachael! Next, school and then THE WORLD!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Crickets: Chiiiiiiiiirp Chiiiiiiiiiiiiirp

Crystal: Ok, I’ll shut up now.

Kameko: Can I get on with my show now?

Jessie: Never! You’ll never get away with this, Kameko!

Kameko: Get away with what?

Jessie: I don’t know. I’ve just always wanted to yell that at someone on a stage in front of people who are now thinking that I’m crazy.

Kameko: Oh… Ok. But let me do this now, ok?


Kameko: I thought I said no! Why are you even here, anyway? I thought the restraining order took effect yesterday!

Cow: It did? Oh… but will you still marry me?

Kameko: No! Do I have to beat you off with a stick?

Cow: Please?

Kameko: No! You’re just going to have to deal with the security officers.

Cow: Darn it. Ow! (Security officers start beating the cow up and he runs off stage).

Kameko: Ok, now. On with my play.

Mondo: Oooh, Oooh, me next, me next! I have a DRAMATIC poem.

Mondo: (Extremely dramatic)
           Monkeys do moo.
           And chickens…
           Go quack.
           Crossdressing chickens… Go duck. Tank you.  (Prances merrily off stage.)
Kameko: Ok, would you guys stop interrupting my play already?

Squiggy: Hold it!! Stop the play!

Kameko: I never got started, it’s not a play yet!

Squiggy: That’s not the point! But this is something extremely important!

Dr. Ashley: It’s a matter of utmost seriousness!

Kameko: What is it, then?

Squiggy and Dr. Ashley clear their throats and start singing.

Fish heads! Fish heads!
Roly poly Fish heads!
Fish heads! Fish heads!
Eat them up, yum!

Kameko: And that was more important then my play?

Squiggy: Yup! Good bye!
Squiggy chops off Dr. Ashley's head with an ax and hand in hand, they skip off the stage singing Diamonds are a girls best friend.

Click here for the rest of this IDIOTIC play!!!