 |
| the ladybug -more than a woman- |
| Q: You know that avatar you use is actually a male ladybug, right? His name is Francis. Are you a hermaphrodite or something? A: I know. I watched A Bug's Life. I'm not a hermaphrodite; I like the character, is all. Q: Why are you such a big showoff? Your vocabulary isn't all that great--I mean, "milquetoast"? "Oeuvre"? Those words hardly caused me to crack open the old OED. A: I never said my vocabulary was spectacular. I tend to seize upon weird words--ones most people I know don't usually use in conversation--and beat them to death. It's really quite sad, actually. Q: And why do you get all literary all the time? Plato? Iris Murdoch? Shakespeare? It's a movie. If I wanted to go to school, I'd enter one of those Sally Struthers degree programs or something. A: Listen, I'm an English literature student. I'm trained to make connections to things I've read, and I enjoy doing so. It's not everyone's cup of tea, I know, but no one's forcing you to read my writing. Q: You're not that funny. Go to comedy college or something. A: I don't claim to be a funny person. I like to make fun of things, and any "jokes" you see on here are things I would say if you and I were watching this movie together. Q: Hmm...well, can you at least give the feminist rants a rest? A: So long as a film doesn't make some ridiculous implication about women or pull any antediluvian patriarchal bullshit on me, fine. And just so you're clear, feminism isn't a dirty word--not all feminists are militant bra-burners. Q: Ante--what? A: Time to crack open that OED now. Q: Okay, I guess I'll quit picking on you now. But you seem to dislike a lot of films. Which films do you like, exactly? A: So glad you asked! I wish I could name some arty indie films, but the truth is, I haven't seen too many of those. I know, my reviewing rights should be revoked. I don't really have a list of favourites, but I enjoy movies with a twist at the end, such as The Sixth Sense or The Game--movies that require some thought and concentration. I enjoy a lot of mainstream films, but they tend to be the ones that get less attention than say, Titanic or Pearl Harbour or any other Bruckheimer-testosterone-fest. Which is not to say I don't enjoy a good action film every now and again. Q: You also seem to have a lot of "irrational dislike," as you put it, for many actors, like Julia Stiles and Tom Cruise. Why? A: Well, since it's "irrational," I can't really explain it to you. But I can add more people to the list: Tobey Maguire, Tara Reid, Tony Danza, and Shannon Elizabeth. Notice the mix of women and men in there--I'm an equal opportunity hater. Q: Wow, you are really an awesome person. I want to marry you and have your babies. Can you send me some autographed photos to add to the shrine I've devoted to you? A: No. Q: Okay. Can I send you an e-mail then, detailing the inconsistencies in your summary of Platonian rhetorical theory? Or to point out the numerical symmetry in The Lord of the Rings? A: No. Q: Fine. Can I just e-mail you as a normal, well-adjusted member of society? A: Why yes! I can be reached at thefilmcricket@yahoo.com I'm actually extremely open to comments, critcism, and especially compliments. If you find any factual, grammatical, formatting, or typographical errors, feel free to send those along--I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Finally, if you enjoy my writing and are interested in employing me, please feel free to e-mail me for my real name and contact information. Q: Why won't you tell us who you are? A: I prefer veils of anonymity to full disclosure. I'm much like Nelson on "The Simpsons": "a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a vest." Except for the vest part. Unless it's cold outside. |
 |
 |