|Volume 1 Issue 7 All the news that's fit to wrap May 28, 2002|
|The Fish Wrap|
|Top News Story|
|Also in the news|
|Copyright 2002, The Fish Wrap email@example.com|
|The Fish Wrap is not intended for persons under 18 years of age.|
|The Fish Wrap is a satirical newspaper. All names are invented except when public figures are being satirized.|
|By Kristi Jacobson|
People in the
|New color coded 'what we
know' terror system released
|WASHINGTON--A new color coded terror alert system was released by President George Bush and Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge early Tuesday morning. The system, What We Know (WWK) comes amid speculation that the powers that be, could have prevented Sept. 11.
"WWK is to cover our asses," Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfield said.
|NEW HAVEN, CT--A recent study conducted by psychologist and professor Dr. Julia Remmington of Yale University found that 83 percent of Americans enjoy Memorial Day because it's another "pointless Monday off of work."