This is the most exciting thing I've seen since Haley's Comet collided with the moon!
~ Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius . . .Nobody thinks I’m a genius.
~ Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
Everybody seeks happiness! Not ME, though! That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
~ Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
The essence of our effort to see that every child has a chance must be to assure each an equal opportunity, not to become equal, but to become different—to realize whatever unique potential of body, mind, and spirit he or she possesses.
~ John Fischer
Fred Sanford: Didn’t you learn anything being my son? Who do you think I’m doing this all for?
Lamont Sanford: Yourself.
Fred Sanford: Yeah, you learned something.
(Sanford and Son)
We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.
~ Marcel Proust
Things won are done; joy’s soul lies in the doing.
~ William Shakespeare
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
~ Albert Einstein
Soonoer or later every one of us breathes an atom that had been breathed before by anyone you can think of who has lived before us—Michelangelo or George Washington or Moses.
~ Jacob Bronowski
A physicist is an atom’s way of knowing about atoms.
~ George Wald
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
~ Albert Einstein
The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.
~ Socrates
When choosing between tow evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.
~ Mae West
I don’t think you should have to do something unless you’re enthusiastic about it.
~ Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
Good people are good because they’ve come to wisdom through failure.
~ William Saroyan
Be wiser than other people, if you can, but do not tell them so.
~ Lord Chesterfield
What a wonderful day we’ve had. You have learned something, and I have learned something. Too bad we didn’t learn it sooner. We could have gone to the movies instead.
~ Balki Bartokomous (Perfect Strangers)
I’m always right and everybody else is always wrong! What’s to argue about?!
~ Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
I don’t care about issues! I’ve got better things to do than argue with every wrong-headed crackpot with an ignorant opinion! I’m a busy man! I say, either agree with me or take a hike! I’m right, period! End of discussion!
~ Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
~ Harry S Truman
I’m an experienced woman; I’ve been around . . . Well, all right, I might not have been around, but I’ve been . . . nearby.
~ Mary Richards (The Mary Tyler Moore Show)
And that’s the way it is.
~ Walter Cronkite
When you make a mistake, admit it. If you don’t, you only make matters worse.
~ Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver)
Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove that splinter from your eye,' while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's eye.
~ Jesus of Nazareth (Matthew 7:1-5)
Every man has one thing he can do better than anyone else and usually it is reading his own handwriting.
~ G. Norman Collie
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
~ Albert Einstein
Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story.
~ John Barth
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
~ James Joyce
Death is just nature’s way of telling you, “Hey, you’re not alive anymore.”
~ Bull (Night Court)
Immortality consists largely of boredom.
~ Cochrane (Star Trek)
It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.
~ Andre Gide
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
~ Walter Bagehot
The price of greatness is responsibility.
~ Sir Winston Churchill
Beaver: Gee, there’s something wrong with just about everything, isn’t there Dad?
Ward: Just about, Beav.
(Leave it to Beaver)
Lovey Howell: You know, I really wouldn’t mind being poor, if it weren’t for one thing.
Thurston Howell III: What is that, my dear?
Lovey Howell: Poverty.
(Gilligan’s Island)
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
~ Robert Louis Stevenson
Boy: Teach me what you know, Jim.
Reverend Jim: That would take hours, Terry. Ah, what the heck! We’ve all got a little Obi Wan Kenobie in us.
(Taxi)
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
~ Mark Twain
I’m extraordinarily patient provided I get my own way in the end.
~ Margaret Thatcher
Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.
~ Satchel Paige
Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.
~ Gore Vidal
The Lord prefers common looking people. That is the reason he makes so many of them.
~ Abraham Lincoln
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.
~ Dr. Seuss
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.
~ Rabbi Hyman Judah Schachtel
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
~ Charles Fisher
In the middle of the journey of our life, I found myself astray in a dark wood where the straight road had been lost.
~ Dante (Infreno)
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
~ Mahatma Gandhi
Physiologically, (love) bears a striking similarity to disease. A series of biochemical responses that trigger an emotional cascade, impairing normal functioning.
~ Seven of Nine (Star Trek Voyager)
They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Maybe that’s why it is hard to tell if we’re in a tragedy or a farce. We need more special effects and dance numbers.
~ Calvin & Hobbes (Calvin & Hobbes)
Lisa: The madness ends here.
Homer: Ha! If I had a nickel for every time I've heard THAT!
(The Simpsons)
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