"the next holsum apple butter for your soul"
"sends story to this website right away!"
By: Dr. Morgan Nurdle
Jo-ghetto had actually been found in a woman's heart during a routine mammoth-gram checkup! "I didn't know what to make of it!" said Dr. John Schwartzkopf, "At first we thought the woman was merely well endowed, but as soon as we took a look at her bank account, we saw immediately that was not the case, at all!"
As soon as Dr. Schwartzkopf was interviewed, we lacerated his cheekbone.
"Apparently, as soon as we had taken the photos...the legal kind you can take during this sort of procedure that won't get you sued, you know, the "Medical" pictures, well, we saw at once that she was either pregnant, or had a large fur coat implanted into her heart in order to raise the property value of her...heart." said another doctor, who had nothing to do with the findings.
As soon as the object was discovered, the 27 year old white woman from Georgia Hastings Trailor Park, was rushed to surgery, where a startling thing happened.
"Right when we opened her up, we could hear her heart talking to us. Well, it was the oddest thing in the world to hear someone's heart making conversation. So, in order to be polite, we obliged it." says Dr. Colunder, a 19th century novelist, who holds a doctorite in conversational skills.
Through the course of conversation, doctors found out that the object was a person, Jo-ghetto, a critically acclaimed rapper, and unknown Cardiologist who graduated from West Point at the top of his class. Doctors began to work with Mr. -ghetto so as to make the procedure go by quicker, working from outside in and...from the inside out.
It was found out later that Mr. -ghetto had obtained the key to the woman's heart and, during a not-so-routine-checkup, accidentally opened up her aorta. "I dropped the ************ key in her * heart, so I was all like '****! I gotta go in that stinky *** mother ************* **** hole and retrieve it, for I am a man of the upmost honor and integrity!' and I dove in, and she closed the door on me!"
The woman is being held in jail on 7 counts of Rappernapping and 1 count of posession of a Rapper. She is being held on 7 dollars bond.-----
END STORY!!! POPSICLE!
Morgan Nurdle is a Doctor of Veteran Wars and writes frequently for the news source and is paid under the table because she's only 13 and doesn't want the government to know she does this for a living. You can read her other articles free of charge....go ahead., it's free. "Just like the gory days of old, eh Mistress?"