THE INDIE ROCK SITE
			Blue States, Counties Secede From Union War Between the States/Counties Erupts By: Roland R. Rike
	After Tuesday's election the deeply divided country decided it would be best if we just had another War Between the States to kill off the bad blood. Much like they used to do back in the Golden Years of the Mafia. The country has embraced the idea, since they are so deeply divided. The states and the counties that were given to Sen. John Kerry have united under their deep divide in order to abliterate the states and counties handed over to President Bush.      "It's a brilliant idea!" said a chief White House spokesman, whose speaking was permitted only if he got two free passes to Disney Land. "What luck that the expiration of the Ban on Assault Rifles coincides with this whole ordeal. It'll be jolly good fun!" We then gave him his two free passes and watched as he skipped to his limo, which exploded as soon as the engine was started. We like this war already.       After salvaging the Disney Land tickets from the wreckage, we learned that President Bush is excited about his new role that he will play in all of this. Rumor has it that for his next term, President Bush will grow a beard and wear a large stove pipe hat, so that he may resemble former President Abraham Lincoln, who was in office during the first War Between the States. At the end of this term, President Bush will be shot at Ford Theatre.      Even as we speak the Red and Blue states are beginning their massive offensives, mingling Red and Blue to create Purple. This color can be seen most brightly from California, where there was an abundance of Purple 'afore the war ever began.      "We're not quite sure how this will all pan out." said Sec. of State Colin Powell. "We'd like to think that it will stop sometime, but who knows, we may have to prepare for the worst." As soon as he was finished speaking, he exploded when his engine was started.      We contacted Sen. Kerry for his take on all this hulabulloo. "It is very fotunate that this War Between the States happens to have happened during International Spy Month. We can now celebrate Spies, whilest utilizing their techniques." Sen. Kerry then pushed his nose, which produced a jet pack on his back, and rocketed off to his base of operations on Neptune...THE BLUE PLANET.      Most of the Red states massed in Nebraska, early Monday morning, hoping to lure the Blue states into the great corn fields. The entire state of Wisconsin pursued them into the fields where they were attacked, and mercilessly ripped to shreds by Mighty Velociraptors. The Red states declared this a milestone victory, just before the Velociraptors exploded.      All in all, we hope that you choke, we hope that you choke, that you choke. But take advantage of the Assault Rifles, and references to various Mafia movies, and go fight the Red or Blue horde that plagues your country! Be divided and kill! Spilling purple blood, only then will you have the ability to reclaim your country for you and your color! And don't forget Lincolnbush! Lincolnbush will emancipate! EMANCIPATE!!! Roland R. Rike has three names that begin with R. His initials are RRR. He could be a pirate if he said his initials a lot.