"I think we can take the braces off now..."
Wulfwolf Marries a Frenchwoman
After the desecration at Comode, Wulfwolf and his brother Wolfwulf decided to mount an attack on the French dogs who so deftly took the Comode of Mintfresh, and slap their wrists for their naughty deed. It was decided that Wolfwulf would mount his offensive by sea, landing on a random French shoreline, and taking them by surprise. Wulfwolf thought long on this attack, and decided that the best route of attack would be to sail to Sweden, gaining support from local Kings and lords there, and slowly make his way down into Europe and take France from the opposite side.
After consulting with each other, the two Saxon brothers agreed on their plans. It was then that they both delved into constructing a vessel that would carry them each to their destinations. In a mere matter of weeks, Wulfwolf had finshed his boat and hand picked his Saxon warriors from the Grand Mead Hall of his father, Thnhurn. This was good, for he needed a headstart.
Ferociously they cristened the boat "Nruhnth" after his dead and gone Uncle who dead and goned away while he was unconceived and not here. And so this band of warriors sailed to Sweden within a fortnight, and were welcomed by Cjorne, King of Sweden. Wulfwolf requested the help of Cjorne in the conquest of France, and the King did allow Wolfwulf 20 pieces of gold.
Wulfwolf stared blankly at the king. He then took the gold and left Sweden for Denmark, where King Yuswey granted Wulfwolf 600 warriors and his finest piece of cloth. Wulfwolf graciously accepted this gift, and promptly marched into Germania with 900 men and asked King Garmand for his support. Since niether of them spoke the same language, King Garmand offered beer.
And so, the march to France was halted for five months as the 900 men of Wulfwolf explored the wonderful foods of the Germanic peoples. Although, these Saxon men had no idea that Germanic foods were high in Carbs, and so 600 men became fat and died of a severe Bread Overdose. Wulfwolf, now an alcoholic, marched his men from the borders of Germania to Switzerland, hoping to find support from the Parliament there.
The Swiss parliament offered them 2 neutral soldiers who were excellent skiers. Wulfwolf, who's ferociousness is seldom displayed in this small story that consists mostly of the travels of an imaginary Saxon army marching to wage and imaginary war of France that is almost like reading the Old Testament of the Bible, sprang forth and disemboweled all of the Swiss Parliament in a single motion of the hand, and then they all ran to France.
When they made it safely across the border, they all tried to find the local Tavern, for they had not tasted mead for many months...maybe a year. But they could not find any, for France is a land full of Not-Taverns, great holes in the ground where you hope things happen.
As they wandered around France trying to find a great hall flowing with mead, Wulfwolf fell into a Not-Tavern. It just so happened that this was a Single's Not-Tavern, and Wulfwolf was very much single. In four hours he was married to the most beautiful woman there, due to his drinking of whatever French crap they had there. In four more hours, Wulfwolf realized that his bride was French.
So, now dazed and confused, and knowing he couldn't destroy the love of his life's country, Wulfwolf marched through Switzerland, Germania, Denmark, and back to Sweden, where they found their boat tied to the same tree they left it tied to. Then, they boarded their craft, and sailed for Angleland.
They may have lost many sons, but they at least gained a daughter (who couldn't speak their language, and whose people they hated).
It was a very loving relationship, for Wulfwolf couldn't understand what Suzette (her name) was saying, and she didn't have to cook, since he spent most of his time at the Grand Mead Hall. French people are ugly, anyway.