~Part 6~ Taking a deep breath, she sat down on her bed Indian-style. "Last night, when I went over to Finn's," she started, shuddering at his name, "he told me to sit down and talk. So basically I poured my heart out. I told him everything, about my mom and dressing up...and then I got to you and I was saying how you loved me and everything." "So we were talking about the shower…" Hamilton smiled slightly at the mention of that occurrence, "and naturally I had to say how stupid that was. We're young, we made a mistake and it was dumb. But then he started saying that it wasn't dumb and neither was I...and...and he came and put his hand on my shoulder." she paused remembering the horrible experience. "Jake…" Hamilton started. She shook her head. "So, I got a little freaked out but I figured it was nothing. But then he started rubbing me, with both hands, down to my back…" her eyes were starting to tear. She wanted Hamilton to know, so that he could protect her. She had to be strong. Hamilton started to clench his fists. He really had touched her 'Oh my god.' he thought without interrupting her. "I couldn't speak, Ham...I couldn't do anything, it was so awkward. But then it got worse. He started to move to my front and he just stood there touching me and feeling me. He said he didn't care whether I was Jake or Jacqueline. That the only difference that mattered was my chest." Jake couldn't take it anymore and she broke down. "Oh my God Jake. I- I, I don't know what to say. I just can't believe it. Are you okay? Do you, uh, wanna go see someone about this? Oh God, I love you Jake." he said burying his face in her head. Jake just cried, letting the memories of her assault replay. Hamilton's anger was boiling underneath the love he had to display for Jake. Finn had harassed her, groped her. She didn't deserve it. She was so special. "Jake," he continued, "I won't let him get away with this. He hurt you! I'm going to the police or something. I can't stand to think that he did that to you!" "Hamilton, I'm okay now...I have you. It just scares me to think that he's that sick. That he could do it again or to another student. I don't think I could ever look him in the eyes again." she stated. "I'm so sorry, Jake. I feel so helpless. I wish I could do something to take away your hurt." he replied sincerely. Jake leaned in and kissed him shortly yet lovingly on the lips. "Thank you." she said. *** ~Part 7~ After sliding back under her covers, she scooted over, patting the spot next to her. He wiggled his eyebrows jokingly and got under as well. She stared into his beautiful eyes and knew that he would make it okay...that he would somehow take this haunting memory, that was still so fresh, away from her. "So what can we do, Ham?" "What? You mean about this?" "No about my grandma, yes about this." she replied. Hamilton was thrilled to hear her back to her usual sarcastic self. "Well, for starters, I think you need to get some air. You've been cooped up in here all day. We won't see anyone. My dad was saying just yesterday how you and I are the only people left here. Well, besides Finn…" Hamilton realized his mistake right away at the scared look that suddenly overcame her face. She had really been trying to shove the event out of her head, to forget the pain and vulnerability she had felt. "Sorry, Jake. I didn't mean to…" "No, it's okay Ham. You're totally right. Lets go for a walk?" "I'd love to." She smiled at him and put on a pair of her baggy boy jeans, her corset and a t-shirt. Jake took a deep breath as they left her dorm hand-in-hand. They walked through the beautiful grounds. Summer had done good to Rawley's magnificent campus. Jake marveled at it, thinking about what a shame it was she never got to look around and appreciate it over the summer. They walked mostly in silence, occasionally commenting on a bird or the lake or a thought that might enter either of their minds. For a while, Jake really forgot about her troubles. The feelings she had felt just a half hour ago seemed to slip away into the beauty of her surroundings and the unbelievable feeling of having Hamilton beside her. They reached a big tree. It was one where they had each individually spent time thinking and pondering over the summer. That tree knew about their secrets, the feelings they had each felt, the questioning, the love. They sat under the tree's shade and watched the late afternoon sun begin to fall over the horizon. Jake remained silent, too much was running through her head. She was experiencing inner turmoil. Half of her was trying to savor the beautiful moment she was experiencing with Hamilton. The other half of her was trying to fight off thoughts of Finn, her teacher. He touched her, felt her. It was truly sexual harassment. She had heard of stuff like that happening but she never in a million years would have thought it could happen to her. Finally, Hamilton spoke. "Jake, I love you so much. It really hurts me to see you struggling like this and not be able to help you. I love you so much, God. I just want you to know, and that if there's anything in the world I can do, I'll do it in a heartbeat. Okay?" Jake nodded, trying to fend off the tears that were bound to escape momentarily. He wrapped his arm around her and held her tight, letting her cry. They sat there, immersed in each other until darkness threatened them. "Come, let's go back in side." she suggested. "Okay." he said, simply standing up and offering his arm to her. She accepted and they walked back up to the school building together. As they passed the common room, Hamilton said, "Hold on, I left my sweatshirt in there the other day, lemme just go get it." She followed him. Hamilton went to get the sweatshirt, which lay on the couch where he had left it. However, he wasn't alone in the room. "Mr. Fleming. Nice to see you around. What have you been up to lately?" a normal looking Finn asked. Upon seeing him, Hamilton seethed with anger. How dare he! He knew that Hamilton loved Jake! Hamilton gave Finn a cold look and backed away before Jake could see who was in there. But it was too late. She had entered the room and stood staring in silence with her arms folded protectively over her chest. "Jake, go up to your room, I'll be right up." Hamilton said, wanting to protect her so badly. "Oh, Ms. Pratt, why didn't you say hello?" Finn asked innocently, getting up a bit and looking her up and down. Jake turned around and ran out the door. Hamilton wanted to follow her but he was too angry...too fuming at Finn. "You know, she really looks much better in what she wore last night." Finn said shrugging. "How dare you?!" Hamilton growled, unable to control his anger. "Excuse me?" "Who the hell do you think you are? You're supposed to be a role model, a teacher, a leader. But instead you harass your student, my girlfriend and the most amazing girl in the world. You disgust me! You deserve to die. Don't you dare think for a second that you're going to get away with harassment in this school." "I advise you to watch your words Hamilton, she is a hot kid. I know for one that I would definitely not like to see her out of this school." That was all Hamilton could take. He lunged forward punching Finn hard in the face. This took Finn totally by surprised and he lay on the floor holding his bleeding nose. "What the hell is going on here?" came a voice from the doorway. *** ~Part 8~ Hamilton quickly turned around. His mother was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. She had a confused and concerned look in her eyes. Suddenly Hamilton was overcome with vulnerability. He wanted to be hugged and told that everything would be okay. For the past twenty-four hours he had to be the strong one, the one to hold Jake. But now he realized that he was hurting too. He wanted to jump into mommy's arms and have her make it okay, like she always had. "Mom. This is not what it looks like- at all." "Well, maybe you should tell me what it really is, because what it looks like is you just punched your teacher." she said coldly. "Mom, can we go home, I need to talk to you." he said with yearning in his eyes. He really needed her. He needed to explain this to her, away from Finn. She saw the look in his eyes. They were so sincere, those deep blue eyes that reminded her so much of his father's. She loved her family so much. What had she ever seen in Finn? "Is everything alright, Hamilton?" Finn just sat there waiting for something to happen. "I need to talk to you," he replied, almost pleading. "All right." she answered plainly. She turned to Finn for the first time. "I'm sorry, Finn. I don't know what's going on." she stated, turning away. "See you at home." she added, to Hamilton. Hamilton knew what he had to do first. The last time he had done something without Jake's permission it hadn't resulted well. So Hamilton bolted up to her room, knocking on the door quickly before opening it himself. Jake was sitting at her desk looking frightened. "Hamilton. What happened? Did he- did he say something to you?" "Jake, he said a lot of things. I'll tell you later but see, I got really mad and I hit him…well sort of punched him, and my mom saw. I told her I have to talk to her...I think we should tell her." Jake just stared at him. Hamilton continued, "I wish I knew how you felt so I could help, but I don't and I'm not a woman. But I do know that this is a really big deal and we need someone to help. I would never turn to my dad but my mom… I trust her. She loves me and I know she'll protect you if I need her to. So that's what I think, but its in your hands. It's all up to you. I can always figure something out to say to my mom…" "Hamilton." Jake interrupted his babbling. She sat thinking for a minute, staring into her hands. "I think we should tell her too. But I think you should tell her alone." Hamilton just nodded. "Okay, so I'm gonna go then, she's expecting me. I love you. I'll come back as soon as we're done and we'll see what we can do. Are you sure you're okay staying here alone?" Jake nodded. "Okay, lock the door." he said smiling slightly. "Good luck, Ham. Love you." He kissed her on the cheek and left. Jake locked the door and sighed. Thanks to Hamilton, things really might be okay...maybe. If only she could get the feeling of Finn's hands all over her out of her mind! . . . Hamilton walked into his kitchen seriously. His mother was sitting at the table sipping a cup of tea. Across from her, was an extra mug filled with hot cocoa, Hamilton's favorite. At the sight of her, Hamilton wanted to hug her and beg for her help. But he couldn't- not until he made her understand. She looked solemn and eager to hear what Hamilton had to say. "Where's dad?" he asked casually. "Oh, he didn't tell you? Oh, right you were out last night. He went to bed already, he's leaving early tomorrow morning for a week. There's a seminar course in California that he feels is vital. So, he's asleep." she replied. "Oh." Hamilton sat down and sipped his chocolate. "Thanks for this." She nodded. "Mom, I know what you just saw...but there's more to it then just me punching my teacher. So much more." he stated, looking into his mug. "Sweetie, talk to me. I'm here, I support you and I need to know what's going on, I just saw something inexcusable, unless you clue me in. Please, clue me in." she said, sadly. "Okay. This is very confusing, so listen carefully." he said slowly, glancing at her for the 'okay'. "You know Jake?" "Of course I do, he's your best friend. How could I not? You talk about him all the time!" "Yes, well, you know I also mentioned my girlfriend?" "Right, you have mentioned a girl. But you never talk about her…" she said trailing off. "Okay, well her name is Jacqueline and I love her, with all my heart." he said, looking into his mother's eyes with sincerity. Kate smiled upon hearing those words from her son. "Well, what's important is this:" Hamilton took a deep breath, "Jake…Mom, Jake is Jacqueline." *** ~Part 9~ 'I can't believe I finally said it!' he thought. He waited to get a response from his mother but she just sat looking confused. Certain questions that had always been left unanswered were starting to make sense to her. Hamilton began to talk again. "I know you're really confused. I'll explain the whole thing from the start. Okay, so Jake's mother is an actress. In fact, she's very passionate about her work." "Yes of course, Monica Pratt. I used to love her show, but when she left it just wasn't the same." Hamilton smiled at his mother. "Well, apparently, she cares more about her acting then her daughter. Jacqueline spent most of her life alone, being raised mostly by her nanny, after her father left. But once she got older, she got sick of it. She's spent the last two years transferring from one school to the next, hoping that one of the times her mother might actually get the picture...but she hasn't even realized." He took a break, waiting a beat and continued. "So, Jacqueline lost hope. That's when she decided to crank up the next switch. So, she became 'Jake', and when I met her, we totally clicked. The best part is, above everything we're friends, best friends, because that's how I knew her first. But then it started getting weird, because I felt things for 'him' and it really scared me." "Anyway, to make a long story short, at the cotillion she told me. Suddenly, it all made sense and, while I was mad at her for lying to me, I didn't really care. Because she wasn't Jake, she was Jacqueline." Hamilton smiled to himself. "Mom, I've never been in love before this but I can swear to you. I've never even imagined that such a feeling exists. It's like there's no way on earth to describe it. I love her so much, everything that's part of her, I want to make part of me." "It was so hard mom, to be so close to someone you care about, to sit next to them and not be able to hug, hold hands, or just touch them. It was so hard and I can tell you there are plenty of rumors out there about us. But now I know that it's okay because it's all worth it, just to have her here. I really, really love her! I'd give anything for her." Kate was grinning a mile wide. Her son, her little Hammie, her Munchie was expressing the deepest of feelings that she hadn't even known him capable of having. So, while thoughts like: 'I can't believe I've let him sleep over there so often!' came to her mind, "I'm so happy for you, Hamilton." was all she could bring herself to say. "Yes, well this is the part where it gets even more complicated than me being in love with a girl dressed as a guy to get her mom's attention. Just a few days ago...God it feels like so much longer then that...Finn walked in on her in the showers and, uh, he found out. So Jake really freaked out and she ran. She just left everything and went back to her mom." "When she got back to New York, he had sent her an e-mail that basically said he knew that she was a girl and that it was okay. He requested that she come back and that they work things out over here. So, obviously, I was miserable without her and when she came back I couldn't have been happier." Kate smiled at him. Hamilton looked into his now tepid hot chocolate. "So last night she went to go see Finn like he instructed." Hamilton paused, trying to find the words to tell his mother the painful truth, almost unable to go on. "Yes?" she asked curiously. "Mom, I really don't know how to say this to you. Finn- he…he touched her, all over, felt her up, abused her. He scared her mom. She's really hurting right now." he finished softly. Kate's mouth hung open and her spoon fell to the floor. "Hamilton?" He looked up. "This is serious. Are you sure?" "Of course I'm sure, Mom. I was there in her room when she came back crying- petrified. Mom, I've never seen her in so much pain. She's so strong, you know? It just kills me to see her like this, so susceptible and everything, and there's nothing I can really do." "I just hold her and tell her it'll be all right, when really I don't know that it will be. I mean, she's never going to be able to walk around alone in this place knowing that that sick-o is around, waiting to get her alone again. Mom, it just kills me, eats me up from the inside! I love her so much and I can't help her…" "So you see, that's why I hit him. I saw him just before and I got so angry. Who the hell does he think he is?! He just pushed me over the edge that's all. I hate not being able to protect her." he finished, almost in tears. "Hamilton. Can I please talk to her? You know, meet the real Jake? The one you care for so deeply?" Hamilton smiled. "I think she would like that. I'll just call her and tell her we're coming." He got up and reached for the phone, heading to the corner of the kitchen as he dialed. "Jake?… Hey baby. Is everything okay?…Good…Yeah, I told her, she's okay. She wants to help… I know...So she wants to talk to you, Can we come over now?...Are you sure?...Okay, I love you. Oh, and put on something that'll, uh, prove that you're really a girl." he said smiling. "See you soon baby...I love you too." Hamilton hung up. Kate was smiling at her son's words. She finally realized how hard it had to be on him. He loved her so much and had to put up that strong front. But she realized he must really be hurting too. "Hamilton, come here." she said, wrapping her arms around her son, who was significantly taller and bigger then she was. Finally, Hamilton was getting the hug that he so desperately needed. He let himself be swallowed into the hug, to feel like a little boy being comforted by his mommy. He needed her and with that hug, he knew that he hadn't made a mistake in telling her. "Thanks mom, I really needed that." "I love you sweetie, okay? Thank you for coming to me about this. It's very serious and I will help you take care of it. I want you to know that I support you one hundred percent, and I wish you would have trusted me with this sooner. But thank you for letting me in now." Hamilton nodded. "Okay, so lets go do what we have to do." she said, as she took his hand and started to lead him toward the dorms. *** ~Part 10~ When they reached Jake's dorm, Hamilton tapped lightly on her door like always. "It's us." he said evenly and opened the door. Jake stood up quickly as they came in. She was wearing a wrap-around, denim skirt with a tight, form-fitting tee shirt. Hamilton smiled at her, she was so beautiful. Jake looked straight at Kate, waiting for a response. Finally after examining Jake carefully, making sure that indeed she was a girl, Kate smiled. 'How could I have ever thought that this gorgeous young lady, who my son is infatuated with, was a boy?' she thought to herself, smiling at Jake sympathetically. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Jacqueline." she said. Jake smiled a huge smile and looked over at Hamilton, who couldn't have looked more pleased. His two best women were bonding. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Flemming, about all of this. I never meant for it to go on like this but…I just couldn't leave after…" Jake looked over at Hamilton, "…after I met him." Kate smiled at the two 'little children' in front of her, whom she realized were not little children at all. "Sweetie, its all right." she replied. "Come here…" she added softly, opening her arms out to this young lady who needed a mother so badly right now in her life. Jake was more than willing to let herself be held by Hamilton's mother. 'God, if I only had a mother like this all the time.' Jake started to cry in her arms. She loved Hamilton so much and appreciated everything he had done for her, but he didn't understand like a woman would. The way she felt abused and defaced. Finally Jake pulled away. With a choked up voice she whispered, "Thank you." "Any time, Jake. If you ever need someone, a woman...a mom, anything...I'm here, okay?" Jake nodded. Kate took a deep breath. "Okay guys, I hate to rush things but we really have to do something about this. I'm sure you understand how very serious this is." They both nodded. "Okay then, Jacqueline, I think it would be best if you come stay with us for a little while until this is worked out. Don't worry, the Dean will be gone for the next week so you can feel free to be yourself." she said compassionately. "I don't like the thought of you and Finn being the only ones in this building all night." she stated in a motherly tone. Jake nodded, understanding. She glanced over at Hamilton who was smiling broadly. "Thank you." he said. He had been silent the entire time, but the thought of having Jake with him all the time, as a girl, and not having to worry about being seen was amazing...even under these circumstances. Kate smiled at her son. "Okay, so why don't you pack up whatever you'll need and I'll wait here for you. Then we can finish talking at home." Hamilton and Jake walked over to her desk and she got out an empty backpack. "Thank you Ham, this was a good idea. She's really helping." she said lightly. Hamilton smiled at her. "Good, I'm glad. Now you get to be safe with me okay? You're coming to my house!" He said the last part with boyish excitement, as Jake kissed him on the cheek. She quickly threw some stuff into her bag, making sure to pack mostly girl clothes, with one boy outfit. "Okay, all set." she said, five minutes later. Kate smiled and replied, "Let's go home then." She opened the door and stepped into the dark hallway, indicating for the other two to follow her. As they walked through Rawley's dark and empty halls, Hamilton took Jake's hand in his. They reached the common room with its wide entrance. Kate and Hamilton walked by without taking notice, but Jake glanced in. What she saw horrified her. Finn stood there, staring at them silently. When he met Jake's glance, he winked and blew her a kiss. Jake closed her eyed briefly and tightened her grip on Hamilton's hand as they walked on. "What is it, baby?" he whispered nonchalantly. He looked into Jake's eyes and saw her sudden fear, stroking her hand with his thumb. "What?" "Finn." was all she could get out. "He- he just winked at me...and blew a kiss." she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "God, I just want this to stop." She began to cry. "Oh God, Jake! Just hold in there, okay? You're going to be safe, I swear." he promised, bringing his other arm around her body oddly as they walked. Finally they reached Hamilton's house. Jake looked much more dazed now than she had when they left her room and Kate noticed. "Here we go, make yourself at home, Jacqueline." "Thank you." she replied softly, placing her knapsack on the small table in the hallway. "Come on, lets go sit in the living room and talk." Kate said. Kate sat down on the big couch while Jake and Hamilton sat closely on the love seat. Hamilton took her hand. "Mom, on the way here Jake saw Finn again." he stated. Jake looked down at the floor; this was all too hard for her. Tears were starting to accumulate in her eyes again. "Jake," Kate said and Jake looked up, "I know this is very hard. God, I can't even imagine what your going through now, but I do understand... and we're going to help you. I'm going to talk to Finn tomorrow. But until then, you can talk to me, okay? You know, like woman-to-woman?" Jake nodded. "Just now he saw us walking and he winked at me and um…blew me a kiss." she told her, shuddering slightly. Kate nodded. "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. It's just so sick. Jacqueline, I need you to be honest with me for a minute, this is important. Do you need to see a doctor? Are you physically all right? I mean, did he…" Jake caught on. She spoke slowly. "Oh no, he didn't. We were just talking and he got up and first he was just rubbing my shoulders and back but he…moved...and then he was just standing there, feeling me all over. God, it was like he had this control over me and all I wanted to do was leave but I just couldn't." "I know, I know." Kate soothed, fully understanding Jake's words. She too had felt that, only she hadn't been strong enough to pull away, so she went along with it. She felt so stupid and cowardly next to Jake. Jake was surprised by how comfortable she felt talking to Kate. It was like she understood perfectly. There, feeling Hamilton close beside her, Kate helping her through this, she was temporarily comforted. Kate got up and picked up some keys off the coffee table. "Okay guys, if you're okay here, I'm heading out quickly to get Jake some movies and ice cream. Lock the doors?" "Oh no, you don't have to. I'm really fine just here with Hamilton." Jake replied. "Oh, come on sweetie. I know very well that there are certain times in a girl's life when she just need to sit and wallow...and this is one of those times. So, I'll be back. How does mint chocolate chip sound?" Jake smiled. "Thank you, I need it." Kate smiled and left. *** |
| Parts 6-10 |
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