 |
Rating: PG-13 Category: Jake/Hamilton Disclaimer: I don't own anything other than the storyline. Summary: Jake and Hamilton learn about the true essence of life…at fifteen and at twenty five. Author's Note: This story takes place over two different times, in the eyes of both Jake and Hamilton. I have tried to make it very clear who is speaking when, I hope no one gets confused. Also, don't get disheartened if you read something and you're like, "What? That can't mean what I think it means!?". Chances are, it does. I have been purposely vague and unclear on several things. Think of it as a puzzle, you take what you're given and have to figure out the rest on your own ;) Enjoy, feedback is always nice. *** (Hamilton, July 12th, 2000) I can't believe I'm finally starting Rawley Academy today. I have such mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I feel like I'm part of the school. I have, in some way or another, been here all my life. But another part of me feels like any other freshman, like I'm starting something new, something fresh, a new beginning, and new opportunities. I don't know how to approach all this. Every night leading me to this day I've wondered if I would fit in. I've prayed that I would fit in (Jake, April 20th, 2010) This can't be real, I must be dreaming. I've reached seventh heaven; no, make that eighth heaven if there even is one. I lay with my eyes still closed, I see him, everywhere, filling up every crevice of my heart, soul and mind. I open my eyes and turn my head slightly and he's there sleeping like an angel beside me. Am I dreaming? If I am dreaming, waking up will be the cruelest of nightmares. I'm twenty five years old, and yet I feel as though my life began last night. 'It did begin last night' I assure myself. After all, that is when life really begins for me, it's a fresh start, a chance to get this 'family' thing right. This is what every waking moment of the last ten years of my life has led up to. Marriage. (Jake, July 12th, 2000) Deep breath, Jacqui, take a deep breath. There ya go. Smell that suburban air; isn't it refreshing? Well it might be if I could complete that breath. This damn thing feels like it's strangling my ribs. How could I have actually gone through with this? I must be nuts. I am nuts. This is the first day of my new identity. Let's just hope I don't have to put up with all this too long; it's been a while since I have done any acting. All I have to do is stay cool, right? Get into the right frame of mind; live in the moment. There's the school… damn, it's huge. Mom, if this doesn’t do it, I give up all hope on you. Live in the moment. Live in the moment. Okay, here goes nothing. (Hamilton, April 20th, 2010) Ah, five more minutes, just five. [sigh] Nice and warm. Oh my God. Last night…was amazing. Open your eyes, Ham! What if I open them and I'm back at the apartment and Jake is already at her morning shift and I'm alone. What if last night didn't even happen?! Phew! There she is. There's my Jake. "Morning gorgeous." I smile at the most beautiful woman in the world. She's already up; she must have been watching me. She smiles the second biggest smile I have ever seen on her perfect face. The first was last night; she beamed all night long. Her unmistakably joyous aura transmitting to everyone she greeted. I feel like a genie or something to have made her so happy. "Is this real?" she asks me, taking my hand from somewhere under the soft covers. Our covers. It's our bed, our honeymoon, our life, and it's all I need. (Hamilton, July 12th, 2000) All I need is to make friends. That's what is missing from my life. Well, that and a father who is home once in a while, a girlfriend would be nice too. But I need friends. God, I want friends. Maybe that's what this whole school experience is for me. Maybe going to Rawley is part of some master plan, some big opportunity that will ultimately lead to my happiness. Yeah right. Okay, I'm going to go check out the dorms, maybe get out my camera. I know that might not be the most social thing to do, it's just hard to make friends. I have almost no practice. (Jake, April 20th, 2010) The moment his eyes open I drift back to one of my favorite memories. It was six or seven years ago. We had just graduated Rawley and we were together in New York, just like we had planned to be. The night we got to my apartment, we fell asleep together on the couch, wrapped up in each other's arms, the way we were never able to at school. We had had a few unique opportunities to have those intimate moments in high school, but never completely without worry or fear. When I woke up that morning, I just stared at him, holding his arms in place around my body, feeling freer then I ever had. That's what he did to me. At that moment, I thought I was in heaven; that things couldn't get any better. I was so much younger then. (Jake, July 12th, 2000) Okay, so now my stuff is somewhat unpacked, at least as unpacked as I want it to be. There is no sense in completely unpacking if I'm just going to be leaving in a week or two, right? So the student representative said I should check out the Student Activities Board to see if there's anything I'm interested in. Let's see… basketball, hells no, soccer, eh, debate, uh-uh. This place is so much lamer then I expected. "Welcome, are you new here?" A man asks from behind me. He's pretty young, probably not older then thirty. He seems friendly, but like he has something up his sleeve. "Uh, yeah, I am" I say, clearing my throat, trying to lower my voice as deep as possible. God, I feel like I'm trying to throw up my lunch or something. "Well, I'm Finn, no Mister is necessary. I teach English and a few other classes here. Excuse me while I post this flyer." I nod, step aside and look at what he's pinning up. It's a simple piece of loose-leaf paper. It stands out from all the fancy, typed up notices with boarders and fonts and images all over them. It read: JV Crew Team Tryouts When: Today, at the docks at 4 pm sharp. -100% commitment required. - One coxswain and five seats are open. "Cool." I say, more to myself then anyone else. I suppose I'll never make the team, basically due to my lack of strength compared to all the other buff 'dudes' that will be trying out. "What's a coxswain?" I ask the teacher before he turns to walk away. He just stands there staring at me for a moment, I don't know why. Finally he smiles slightly and answers, "The coxswain is the backbone of the team, the brains behind the brawn. You'd actually have a really good chance at the position, I hope to see you there." and he walks away. (Hamilton, April 20th, 2010) I take her hand and play around with the thin gold wedding band on her ring finger. I wanted to get her platinum. After all, she's Jake, she deserves the best. But she insisted on gold. Her father had given her mother gold too; she wanted to preserve them. Her father died when she was ten. That might be what started Monica's self-centered decline, I'm not really sure when she started it, maybe she's always been like that. As for her father, Jake really loved him, and from what she has told me, her Dad really loved her too. He was really devoted to making sure that the three of them stayed a family. He was the quintessence of a husband who truly loved his wife for who she was. The way Jake is about her mom these days is so different from what it was when we were together at Rawley. It all changed after it happened. The tabloids called it "A tragic self-termination of unique God-given talent." What the hell was that supposed to mean? I look up to Jake so much in that respect. I can and will never be able to measure myself next to her. The things she has been through in her lifetime make where she is now so much more meaningful then everything I have been through. Her mother left Jake vulnerable, with no answers. She is the strongest person I know. I have a lot to learn form her, and now I have a lifetime to be taught. (Hamilton, July 12th, 2000) Feng Shui? What was I thinking? Oh yeah, Ham that's a great way to make friends, freak them out with the Chinese laws of placement and symmetry… blah blah blah. I have yet to meet one other teenager in this world who gives a damn about that kind of stuff. Not that I have met many teenagers. The average guy at school expects me to be some sort of Narc because of who my dad is. So those two- Scout and Will, probably aren't gonna jump at being friends with me. Maybe in time, they do seem cool. That guy Jake- there's just something about him. Maybe I'm just not used to the feeling of having a friend. I don't know if I'd call him my friend yet, but I hope we will be. He knows a ton about computers, which I know nothing about. He knows nothing about any stuff I'm into. I guess you could say we have a lot to learn from each other. (Jake, April 20th, 2010) I sever our connection and let go of his hand. The crash of the waves outside the window is beckoning to me. I wrap myself up in the soft plush hotel blanket and walk over to the bright, floor-to-ceiling window. It is magnificent. I can stare at this all day long. I feel his strong arms envelop me. It's so amazing to be sharing this with him. This is one place in the world that my mother has not taken me to. It is my haven with Hamilton, a place that is truly ours. Every memory we will ever have of this island will be ours, and ours alone. I didn't understand why my mom had decided to take me around the world that year. In between two big movies she had scheduled she just called me up and told me she was taking me traveling. She took me everywhere. Italy, Greece, Paris, Spain, France, India, China, Russia, Australia, Brazil, The Bahamas. I enjoyed the experiences but I didn't appreciate who I was with. When it finally happened I understood. Without this man loving me, I might have followed my Mother's lead. Before Ham, that's how I felt. Having no one. It is the most unbearable feeling there is. Being alone. What use is it to live a life if you have no one to share it with? Thank you, Ham. "Thank you, Hamilton". He kisses me on the cheek. "Thank you." I turn my head and he smiles at me. "Want to go down there?" he asks. "Come on, you, me, your new bikini, the waves, the sun, you know you can't resist." I can't resist. (Jake, July 14th, 2000) Funny how life just threw this crazy idea my way. Maybe it's not so funny. It's actually kind of creepy. But more importantly, this could be dangerous. Hamilton is the Dean's son. Wow. I don't think I've ever met a guy like him. He is so genuinely interested in everything I tell him. I think I'm feeling things for him. Things I should definitely not be feeling while posing as a guy. It wouldn't be fair, right? It would be so complicated. It got complicated. How did I screw things up this badly? I am so insensitive. I kissed him. I could not resist everything about him that is so appealing to me. Now Things are so incredibly complex. This whole thing was set up to make my mom realize she's wrong, insensitive and a failure in so much of what she does. But am I really so different? Her relationships are all acts, in a way, charades. And mine? Damn it, why does he have to be so irresistible? (Hamilton, April 20th, 2010) "I see…an oar." I say, gazing at the vivid blue sky and the few clouds that inhabited it. She laughs heartily at that. "Someone spent way too many teenage years rowing crew." She says, not looking away from the clouds. "It looks more like that weird serving piece the Forrests gave us for our wedding, know which I'm talking about?" "Yeah, the British idea of good taste obviously differs from ours." As she laughs, her head kind of vibrates on my stomach where it's resting, damp from our swim in the ocean. "It was so nice of them to give us something, especially because they didn't even show up to the reception." She thinks out loud. "Hey, did you ever find out about the letter?" I ask her, hoping she wants to talk about it. I'm so amazed at how much the same we are. I thought we would get married and somehow we would change, act different or something. But now that I'm here, it all feels the same, it feels so comfortable, so normal. If I were looking down on us, watching and observing objectively, I would never be able to guess that we're married now. That is something so amazing about her, about us. "Um, yeah. My mom gave it to him in London the December before she decided on traveling with me. Apparently, she didn't think she'd ever get the chance to really get to know me. I think she was going to do it then, when she wrote that letter, but maybe something made her decide to give me that call. Anyway, the letter is pretty meaningless considering the fact that she wrote it before we spent those four months together. It just spills out all these emotions and feelings she has, hopes and aspirations that she and my Father had, but never got to fulfill. It's all stuff we talked about over the four months that followed. I'm so happy she made that call. God, if all I had gotten was that letter…" "Jacqueline. Don't think about the 'what ifs' what happened, happened. It's too risky to think about what might have happened if things had been different." "I know." She says, still looking at the clouds, watching the seagulls circle the beach in the air, completely contentedly. I remember the conversation we had about a month or so after it happened. It had started along the lines of the one now at the beach. What she said then broke my heart. "The thing I can't stop thinking about" she said, staring off into space, "is why she went on with it? She was going to end her life before she came to me about traveling, but she changed her mind and called me. If she spent the four months with me, why didn't she realize that she was making the wrong choice about her life? I wasn't enough to convince her it was worth it. I should have seen it. I should have tried harder to make her know that whatever she felt she was lacking we could have found together. You see, all along, it wasn't just her not knowing me, I didn't know her either. I always played the victim and I ran away from it. I was a coward, I didn't deal with the problems, I ran away from them, hoping that she would play both our parts." All I could do was hold her, comfort her. "You're not alone, Jake." What else could I tell her? And yet we are so happy today. We have always been happy. Even underneath everything that happened between us, I think that together, we were always happy, or at least pleasantly content. All the confusion, the unexplainable passion, the fear, the pain. Everything that our relationship has had to withstand over the past ten years when we were together, we were always happy. (Hamilton, July 17th, 2000) Go Fleming!!! Friends. A week ago, I had trouble defining that term. But now, now that I have friends, namely Jake, I am finally happy. I'm happy with myself for being able to do what I never could do before. I'm happy with him, for being the coolest guy on campus. Not to mention I've made a few other friends. I guess I'm not a loser. I probably always knew I wasn't...I just wasn't sure any one else knew it. When I'm with Jake, just hanging out, or talking, or checking out girls, I am happy. Like, I feel complete or something. Whoa, that sounds kind of freaky. But then again, a lot of what I feel about Jake is freaky. I mean he kissed me. That kiss, it kind of started me on a whole new road of doubts. I have friends. That melodrama can finally end; I think things will probably play themselves out in the right direction. But now, I have to think a lot about who I am. It never ever occurred to me that I might not be straight. I have dated before, that is one thing I have actually had some remote experience with. Girls are hot. I have always thought so. How could I be gay? Now, I am not so sure about myself anymore. That really, really scares me. (Jake, April 20th, 2010) We're still on the beach, although the sun has long-since set, the lamps from the hotel are providing us with our light. I'm busy writing thank-you cards to some obnoxious relatives who'll be expecting them immediately. He's reading a book he had received from a friend, something about surviving marriage. Every few minutes I hear him chuckle, although I never inquire as to why. God, I love this man. He knows me so well. I want to be with him forever. Ha, I guess I will get to be with him forever. That's what marriage is all about. "So Ham, when we get back home-" "-Home." He interrupts, smiling cutely. "Remind me to say 'thank you' yet again to my parents for that. Ugh, sorry, go on." God, that cute smile gets me every time. "I just want to talk about the future, ya know? The past was hard, it was also wonderful, but parts were hard. We talk about that a lot. But what about the future?" I say, rambling a little. I look down, not sure how to cut to the chase. "I want a family with you." I say softly, looking deep into his eyes, like I always do when I'm passionate about something. Like I did when I told him I was a girl, like when I told him I loved him, when we had to say goodbye. Like that time in college… He was at Columbia and I was at NYU. We shared an apartment for the last three years of college. I guess the two-mile space between us was too much that first year. We were cooking dinner together, one of the rare occasions that we did not order-in. For some uncontrollable reason, I turned around from chopping the onions, my eyes stinging. I hugged him, wiping my eyes on his chest. We both kind of laughed at that. But then we looked at each other… it was like one of those slow-mo moments in a person's life. I looked him in the eye, just like I had done on those other occasions. "Promise me we'll be doing this in forty years." I had told him, in a voice, almost a whisper. He smiled "I hope you don't mean wiping onion on each other." But then he returned that look, "I promise." He said, more surely then I had ever heard him say anything before. "Last year, Jake, last year was the biggest mistake of my life, the biggest curse of my life. But you are the best thing to happen to me. You taking me back was the biggest blessing I could have ever prayed for." Any doubts I had until that point were gone. All of the hurt and confusion I had experienced from the day he told me he couldn't 'do this' anymore, the day he left me, left us, disappeared. It was the exchange of that look, it validated everything I knew in my heart to be true. That look and exchange has continued on as the signal for sincerity in our relationship. Maybe it is a tool in helping us to know each other so well. Either way, he understands that I am being completely serious. I know he feels the same way because he is looking at me that way too. "We can start our family whenever you are ready, Jacqueline." Am I ready? (Jake, August 3rd, 2000) This is getting out of control. I have to leave, like now. I mean, not only can I not be with Hamilton, but this girl wants me? Ew! Oh god, I can't stay here any more. Last night was such a disaster, and today when Lena tried to kiss me... God, I feel so horrible about all this. I'm such an idiot. Now I get to go to some other shitty school with no Ham, no real friends, no Mom, and… skirts. This problem of mine is pretty ironic. Of course… I could always tell Ham- No way, that would ruin everything. Imagine how I would feel if someone really close to me lied to me for weeks? He'd be so hurt. I can't do that to him, I've done enough already. But he would also be hurt by me not telling him, right? Besides, what do I have to lose? If I leave, I lose Hamilton, if I tell him, I might lose him- but I might not. (Hamilton, April 21st - 2:44 am - 2010) Having kids with Jake. It's something I always knew would happen somewhere off in the future. From the day that I first told Jake I loved her...I knew that it would lead us to where we are right now. Whenever I would think about the future, about growing old, settling down, living my life the way life is meant to be lived, I always assumed Jake would be there. And she is. I guess I always intended on having a family with her. Kids will make things so different. "It's going to change everything, won't it?" I whisper to the beautiful woman curled up beside me in the center of the huge bed. (Hamilton, August 4th, 2000) God, way too much is going on now. I have changed from being strait, to doubting my sexuality, to a full-fledged desire for a guy. Oh god. Why does that gross me out so much? I can't think straight, I can hardly see straight. These Rawley sunsets, sitting by the lake, used to inspire me. Today, I'm just seeing straight through them. No pun intended. Someone behind me clears his throat. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I recognize his voice immediately. It's Jake. I don't turn my head. I just nod. He sits down next to me. God, that is way too close. "What I'm about to tell you is going to crush you. And it hurts me so much to know that I will be hurting you. But I need to tell you." He says, confusing me even more. He has never spoken to me like that before. The tone of his voice is so un-like any conversation I've ever had with any of the guys, ever. I look up at him, giving him the 'Okay'. "What is my name?" Way to weird me out even more, Jake. What the hell is he doing? I raise my eyebrows at him, trying to convey how strange I thought things were. He just waits for me to answer. "Jake Pratt." I say slowly. But that doesn't seem to be enough for him. "Jake?" He starts unbuttoning his shirt. Weird. This is so, so, so odd. I guess a better word for this would be queer. "My name is Jacqueline Pratt." Jake says, as he fumbles with something under his shirt. Okay, what kind of weird sex technique is this? "Jake, stop. Whatever it is that your trying to do right now, just stop. I'm so confused." I say, whining and yelling at the same time. "Just give me a cha-" but I don't let him finish. As he speaks, I finally see what he has been trying so agonizingly to show me. Breasts. He has them. She has them. I bolt up at the sight of them, suddenly afraid of the person before me, my friend, the one I trust. "Hamilton" she says standing up too, her chest no longer exposed. I just can't look at his-her face. Why? "I'm so sorry" she says quietly, trying to find some words to explain it to me, but not at all succeeding. One tear manages to fall from her eye. Oh god, don't cry, anything but crying. I can't just leave her here, crying. She's a girl! (Jake, April 21st 2010) *"It's a girl!" the doctor tells me enthusiastically.* At that moment, I wake up, breathing deeply from the exhilarating dream. The sun is shining brightly through the lacy drapes of the room and onto the bed. Hamilton isn't there next to me. I reluctantly get up from the luxurious comforts of the bed and I walk to the window. My heart nearly falls onto the floor when I see him, I swear. There is Hamilton, his shoes off, jumping around on the sand, forming the letter "I", a picture of a heart, and a "U", followed by our initials with his bare feet. I can't stop smiling, God, he's such a romantic sap. I love it! I quickly throw on a robe and bolt down the hall of this paradise hotel and run to him. Careful not to ruin his work of art, I jump into his arms, not hesitating to kiss him lovingly on the lips. We stand there hugging, in the middle of the heart, immersed in each other, more in love then we had been five minutes before. Is that even possible? So many years and he still manages to do this to me. It's a phenomenon, I swear. "I don't want to leave this place" he tells me between kisses. "Ham, we're not leaving for two more days." I remind him, although I know exactly what he meant. When we get back, we'll be grown ups. We'll have jobs, we'll have a home. We’ll have bills to pay, a future to plan. Leaving this unbelievable island bubble of ours will mean leaving the carefree aspects of our relationship. Not that it had been so carefree, but now we'll have to stop only living in the moment, start recognizing past, present and future; a family, a living, a life. While I'm excited, I just hope we're ready for it. "Am I ready Jake?" He reads my mind. I think for a moment. "Were you ready to think you were gay?" I finally ask him. "Were you ready to fall in love with your best friend? Were you ready to be put through hell during high school? Were you ready to face your family with betrayal? Things just happen. We weren't ready to screw things up in college, and we probably weren't ready to fall back in love. But that's what it's been about for us, right?" "Genius. I married a genius." He responds simply, shaking his head. I just smile. "Yeah, we're ready, Jake. For the first time, I think we actually are ready." He takes my hand and starts walking with me. He doesn't even seem to care that we're marking up his creation with our feet. We walk along the sand, talking, listening, using every sense we have to be sure we appreciate this time together. No matter what, I know he'll always love me. He loves me so much; he always has and always will. (Jake, August 4th, 2000) Oh god, it's going to be over. What if I have to face rejection? No more friendship, definitely no chance of love. This is what I deserve though. Oh no. Don't cry Jacque. You are Jake! Except that I'm not. Not anymore at least. He knows the truth, so I'm not fully Jake anymore. But for some reason, I am relieved that I told him. Thank you lord, you made me fall for a guy with a heart. He isn't going to walk away from me. I have no idea what to do with myself. I'm just standing here, outside, freezing, crying. He steps back toward me; he's putting his hand on my cheek. It's so cold. Maybe I'm just not used to having this much skin exposed. He's buttoning up my shirt for me. I can't help but just stand here watching him. He's being so gentle. I'm not going to break, ya know. Yeah, there's no way he's ever going to be able to see me the same way again. He can't even touch me like a guy anymore. But it's so sweet. No matter what happens, he is just so amazing. He finishes buttoning my shirt, not having bothered with the corset. He's just looking at me, looking at my body, probably my boobs. "I'm sorry." I told him again. What else could I do? What will he do? He's going to kiss me, he's coming closer. I've wanted to do this again since I first kissed him on the roof. It feels so right. I feel so loved, so cared about. He's being so gentle and compassionate. We 're just kissing there, underneath that tree for what seems like an eternity. Even if it is an eternity, it isn't long enough. Kissing him like that, with nothing in between us; no secrets, no lies, no corset, is the first thing that's right since I came to Rawley. "So what now?" I finally ask after the kiss ended. "Jake…Jacqueline. I- I think I love you." He says, so sincerely, the overwhelming feeling in him showing through his distinctive facial expressions. I watch as he painstakingly searches for the words. But the minute he says them he is calm. He means it. "I think I've always loved you" he finishes. (Hamilton, April 22nd, 2010) I have learned something so fundamentally brilliant over this blissful honeymoon of ours. I imagined my honeymoon would be filled with romance. Love and of course sex-- but it has become so much more. I have gotten so much out of these few days together with Jake. I have come to this unbelievable realization. I am ready for life. I am not fifteen anymore, I am ready to take things as they come, I am ready to embrace whatever the moment has to offer. Re-living the past and worrying about the future isn't going to get me where I want to be. It's just going to immobilize us. We won't get anywhere. We have all these grand plans for our future, but if we just plan, we'll never achieve anything. I want so much for us. Jake deserves so much. We just have to learn how to take on whatever life hands us and make it work for us. Maybe I'm thinking on too grand a scale, maybe none of what I'm thinking is remotely realistic, but maybe it is? I love this too much to fail. I told all this to Jacqueline. She is such a pensive, philosophical person. I always knew she was a thinker, I guess it's because she kinda developed herself on her own, but she never ceases to amaze me. First she told me that I was completely right. But she also pointed out something else to me. She told me not to worry about thinking this through too much. She said that people who think life is best when lived sporadically, when people think that planning and thinking things out won't help them in the course of their lifetime, are wrong. That is just a very irresponsible take on things. But then she told me that the best way for us to take on this huge life ahead of us is not just to live in the moment and embrace what we're given day-by-day, it's taking our past with us. In my head I see a family who's moving on to someplace new. They're the same people with the same love and the same experience, but they're "movin' on up", taking on something bigger and better. But they don't just get in the car and go, they gather up their things and memories, and stuff a suitcase with everything that contributed to who they are in the end, and they throw the sack over their shoulder and go to their new home. That is so beautiful. She helps me see life in such a beautiful way. (Hamilton, November 12th, 2000) It's been four months that I've been in love with Jake. That means it's been four months since I've grown up. Four months that I have been maturing. I see the results of Jake in everything I do now. I see how much she has changed me, how much she has made me think about life and evaluate what is really important. This relationship is going to be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. But I've weighed it out; I really think I have my head on straight for this one. I hope I won't regret this if it all falls apart. God, I hope it won't fall apart; it's too good to fall apart. Jake says everyone should live life without regrets. I don't know if she's a believer in the whole "everything happens for a reason/ part of a bigger picture" thing, but she doesn’t believe in re-evaluating what life hands us and what decisions we make. I say that's a pretty tall order. I mean, it's a good philosophy, but who can really do that? Can she really go through life and not look back? You can believe something, hold to it and be passionate about it, but it's not always easy to abide to it. I hope we're strong enough to abide to it. I am willing to give this my all, I know she is too. That's what counts right now. Right now we're both ready for this, we're both ready to experience the most real thing we have ever felt. Right now I am ready to love Jake and not let go. I wonder where we'll be in ten years? Wherever that is, I hope I'll still be holding on tight. I hope I can always look at her and know that whatever it is I may or may not want from life, I know for sure that right now I want to love her, right now I want us to be happy. Right now is all that counts. *The End* |
| Now |
|