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| January 1st, 2002 At what point in a child's life does she break free from the influence of her parents? And when that does occur, is everything that the girl has become a direct result of her up bringing? This is something I have pondered quite a bit. Is a person born with certain characteristics of their personality and qualities, which will later shape the kind of person they will become? Or rather, is a person born generically, empty of these qualities, and everything they become is a direct result of the way they were raised. Does a child become what her parents feed into her, or can she still maintain her own individuality, and claim personal independence from the ways of her parents. Am I who I am solely because my parents raised me into this? Or can I myself take any credit for the way I have turned out. [When I say "turned out' I am obviously speaking from a very limited point of view, considering the fact that I have only been alive 15 and a half years, however, all my years are all I know, and therefore, my 15 ½ years are my forever.] I have held so strongly to the fact that parents (or any figure raising a child) largely influence the way their children turn out. If one takes a look around society, it is so frequent that children follow directly in their parent's footsteps; their methods of thought, their ways of raising their own children. Why do child abuser's children become child abusers themselves? If a child is infused with certain virtues, it is common sense that to them, in their own world, those virtues should be ideal, and therefore, they will continue in that fashion. But of course there are the rebels. The scenario that all-too often occurs. A child, during whatever stage in their years of development, find fault in the ways of their up bringing and they will rebel. That completely supports the individuality of a person, the notion that she herself is her own person, that what she thinks or says is completely of her own persuasion. I believe that a combination of my two points holds true. Every person has in their power the ability to break free, rebel, seize the individuality inside themselves, which they, as human beings have claim to. However, this claim is unbeknownst to them until a certain age. Although they have particular human rights, the rights were put on hold when they were born, until a time where they could grasp them on their own. From the beginning of their lifetime, their individuality was handed over to the responsibility of the person/people raising them. It was during this time period where the parents had the ability to permeate their being with their own values (which were established in the same cycle during their development). In many cases, the child is never able to find the true human right to which they were promised, they live their lives in the cookie-cutter cutout that their parents laid for them; all the while, thinking that it was their own individuality. The teenage quest for self-discovery (which I mentioned earlier) is merely a generalization or an estimate of when an individual begins to discover that they are their own people. For some, it is earlier, for many, it is later. Nevertheless, the recognition occurs. The child finds it on their own, or are introduced to something which triggers an idea. This leads them to that "self discovery", becoming their own person, acknowledging that who they are, what they define as their world, their life, the little bubble in which they live, is their own. They make their own decisions and view life, for the first time, from their own eyes, with nothing blocking the view. Often, a child will find his or her 'self' and then come to the realization that the values they have been instilled with are correct (according to what they themselves believe) and may choose the path that their parents led them in. However, what is key in such cases is that it was a personal choice; a conscious realization that it was indeed in their own hands. This process that most individuals go through during life, specifically the time of development or post-development of their personalities (childhood, adolescence), is very much a case-by-case judgment call. It is hard to make one statement that can adapt to all cases. However, it is important to keep in mind that every single person has the ability to find him or herself. They have the ability to question themselves, their morals, their values, their role models, their goals and their achievements. They have the right to claim their individuality and hold true to it. Many choose not to, many are too blind to, many succeed, and live on, objectively or not. However, in can be said that for everyone, regardless of which path they end up taking, that they have a choice. And if they end up staying on the road that their parents laid, it was a decision. That very choice, regardless of the outcome, was a glimpse of their natural, human right emerging. The Right is always there, trying to surface in every case, over the course of every individual's lifetime. |