| April 5, 2002 As I have continued to think about things I haven't touched on all my life, and attempt to examine the world from afar, rather than from my zoomed-in, individual point of view, I have come to realize something terrifying. I have finally felt the true enormity of the earth, and more significantly, the true minuteness and potential insignificance in mankind, the individual, me. This is terrifying. I live my life like everyone else. I am absorbed in it, wrapped up in it, completely overwhelmed with life as I know it, my bubble of existence, all that is my life. It is naturally important to me. After all, it is my life, for all I know, I only get to live once. Every action I do, every decision I make, it is viewed by myself on a much larger scale than it would be viewed by anyone else—because it's my life. It's my bubble, it's my world. Living this illusion, I am baffled by the glory and splendor of nature. Almost everyone I know is amazed at a beautiful site of nature, at the size of the world from an airplane, and the size of the cars from the top of a skyscraper. This is extraordinary to people because it's a reality check. It's a moment when they see things form a different perspective, when they emerge slightly form their bubbles and get to see things in another way. This is why it's so amazing, because people are so wrapped up in themselves to realize just how small they are. The world is so huge. There are so many of us. Six billion individuals all sharing this huge massive expanse of land, which isn't even it. Beyond this is space, the solar system, even more. It's endless, and we are so limited. That is why people are amazed, that is what is scary. It is scary that we are so small, that every even that happens to us which we see as important, is so insignificant in the course of things. How are we supposed to take that and bring meaning to our lives? We are nothing! We can continue to search for our own meaning. To make our own lives meaningful in their own small ways. But no matter what, we are still small, we are so clearly and so evidently little pieces of machinery at work at some master plan we don't even know about. Little workers assigned to a mystery mission, left to fend for ourselves and find our own meaning, while all the while doing our duties to the unknown master. If there wasn't something huger out there, we would be bigger. There might be 6 of us instead of 6 billion |
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