A Drinking We
By Samantha Gold
Disclaimer: By now you ought to know that I don’t own them! Never will! …unless Joss is interested in trading for my CD collection…
Classification: Challenge Fic
Spoilers: Just to be on the safe side, let’s say that everything’s fair game, okay?
Feedback: Don’t make me beg! I need it!
Dedication: To Nightbird, who issued the challenge
"Hahaha, gimme another one!" Buffy shouted at the bartender drunkenly as she slammed her glass down on the counter, breaking it. "Oopsies!" She announced with a shrug.
"Slayer, you’re drunk!" Spike teased.
"I not drunk!" Buffy declared defiantly, standing up quickly. She promptly fell down. "Ooh, just a bit tipsy."
"It’s Christmas, pet, you’re supposed to have fun, not get wasted," he chided.
"Beer good," she told him, pouting. "Beer fun!" She added with a smile.
"Come along now, luv," he said, pulling her by the arm.
"No! No want go home. Wanna stay here! Stay, Spiky," she slurred, pulling back hard and spinning herself around in a circle before falling down again. She looked around confusedly. "Who hit me?" She demanded.
"No one, pet. Now, ‘Spiky’ is going home and you’re coming, Slayer," he told her as he pulled her back to her feet.
"Ohh," Buffy complained as he dragged her out of the bar. "Ooh! Look, Spiky, look! Christmas lights!" She grinned, then broke into a mad dash for a large pine in front of a fancy home.
"Slayer!" Spike yelled, running after her. For someone who was piss-drunk she was certainly running fast.
Buffy laughed before climbing up the tree, crushing as many light bulbs as she could and giggling with glee every time she heard the crunch of one snapping between her fingers. When she reached the top, she called down to Spike "Come on, Spiky! It fun here up!"
"Uh, ducks, I think you mean ‘up here’," Spike corrected her. "Now come on down!"
She shook her head. "Come *up,* Spiky!"
He shook his head. "Slayer-" he protested.
She pouted. "Want you up now!" She screamed at him.
Spike swallowed. "I can’t, luv! I’m afraid of heights!" He admitted, smiling sheepishly.
Buffy gasped dramatically. "You ‘fraid?!" She echoed. The she grinned devilishly. "Spiky’s ‘fraid o’ heights! Spiky’s ‘fraid o’ heights!" She began chanting.
"Slayer, shut up!" He yelled. She didn’t of course. He sighed. "Slayer, there’s chocolate cake at your house! If you come down, you can have some!" He called to her in a singsong voice.
Buffy’s face lit up. "Chocolate cake?" She cried. She quickly climbed down the tree. "Chocolate cake, Spiky! Me want me chocolate cake!"
"You’ll get it as soon as we get to your house, pet," he assured her, wondering if he’d survive until then.
Xander fell down in the green and red Christmas bean bag chair that sat by the Summers’ Christmas tree. He laughed. "Everything all decorated!" He declared.
Joyce nodded, falling down herself, spilling some of her eggnog on the front of her shirt. She pouted. "Wasted eggnog!"
Xander grinned. "Like eggnog," he stated, tipping back the glass. He looked up at Joyce. "Like Joyce," he declared.
Joyce smiled back at him. "Like Joyce, have Joyce," she told him throwing her glass to the side. It crashed into the wall, shattering into pieces.
"Sh’will!" Xander slurred, doing the same with his glass.
They both stood up. "Room ‘stairs," Joyce told him with a smirk.
"Go t’room," Xander decided.
Joyce pushed Xander into the wall. "Me beat you there!" She taunted, before running up the stairs.
Xander jumped up. "Not!" He yelled, running after her. They collapsed in her room. The door closed, muffling their giggles…
"What on earth are you doing to the furniture?" Giles cried, sticking his head in from the kitchen. He looked around the living room and seeing no one, went back in. "Whatever happened to the bottle of vodka I brought?" He wondered aloud.
Buffy tumbled up her steps, then slammed into the front door. "Blocked!" She declared. "Break it down! Help me, Spiky! On the count of kick…kick!"
"Whoa, Slayer," Spike said, catching her as she tried to run down the door, but fell. Holding her up with one arm, he opened the door with his free hand. "See? It opens."
"Oh…" She said, as though he had just revealed the secrets of the world to her.
"Now come on," he said, pushing her through the door, then following.
Buffy shrieked. "NO!!!" She yelled.
"What is it, luv?" Spike asked. Buffy pointed. He followed her finger to a pink-haired troll, grinning evilly from under the tree. "Satan help us!" He cried.
"What in Christ’s name is all the racket?" Giles yelled, meeting them in the hall.
"Damn troll," Spike shouted.
"She doesn’t like it?" Giles asked.
"Troll evil," Buffy whispered. "Troll must DIE!" She ran at the troll, stumbled and fell, knocking the Christmas tree down. It clobbered both Spike and Giles, knocking them both out cold. "I guess it dead now," she decided, walking away nonchalantly.
Xander woke up. "Hmm," he murmured opening his eyes at the same time as the blond woman next to him did. They looked at each other frantically, then jumped up screaming.
As they jumped up, they realized that they were wearing less clothing than a Baywatch girl. Looking down, they screamed again, diving for the bed. They each clutched part of the covers to them.
"Please tell me that what I think happened really didn’t," Xander begged.
"Oh God…" Joyce moaned.
The door burst open.
"Mom? I though I hea – OHMYGOD!" Buffy shouted, realizing that her mom was in bed with her best friend.
Spike appeared beside her. "What’s with all the bloody yelling, Slayer…Be damned Lucifer!"
"It was the eggnog," Xander tried weakly.
"It was spiked," Joyce meekly added.
Buffy shook her head, looking sick as she hurried away. Spike followed her. "And you say *I* get crazy when I get drunk!"
"I take it back!"