For Angel
By Samantha Gold

Spoilers: Everything up to and including "Hero".
Timeline: A few days after the events of "Hero".
Feedback: I sound really stupid when I beg, don’t make me do it!
Dedication: To Genevieve because she rocks!

Angel stepped off the lift and entered the main office of Angel Investigations. He stopped cold upon seeing Cordelia.

Her face was pale and wore a stricken expression. She lifted her hand slowly to reveal a small envelope clutched tightly in her hand. A simple script adorned the front and bore a single word. His name, Angel.

"It’s for you," she told him quietly. "It’s his handwriting. I…I recognize it."

"D – Doyle?" Angel choked out the question, the pain of losing a friend still fresh.

She only held the envelope out to him, the bright white glinting in the light slightly.

He took it gingerly between his fingers, then retreated to the haven of his office, leaving Cordelia to watch after him. Once settled into his chair, he opened the sacred letter and began to read…

Angel,

If you’re reading this then I’m dead. Whoa, that’s a hard thought to deal with, you know? Hopefully you’ll never read this, at least, not soon because I’m pretty sure that I’m not ready to meet the man upstairs…if he’s even there at all. But on the other hand, I’ve got to be realistic. Our work is dangerous. We face a new evil almost every day and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to pull through.

Since you’re reading this, I guess I wasn’t.

I’m getting away from myself…Do you remember the day that wasn’t? Never mind that’s a stupid question. Of course you remember and I’m sure you hold the memory very close to your heart. Though I can’t remember the day myself, you told me about shortly afterward. I told you about The Oracles that day. We’re on a need-to-know basis, right? Well, all this sacrifice has started me thinking.

What if something happens to me before I’ve told you everything I’m to tell? I’m not ready to go yet, but accidents do happen. I would hate to leave you hanging like that, so I’ll try to tell you everything you need to know in this letter.

First of all, you have to know that it is no mistake that you are in LA right now. It is where you are meant to be. There is so much that the Powers have in store for you, man…I wish I could share all of it, but I can’t. What you really need to know is that his is where you are needed.

It wasn’t a mistake that I started working for you, either. The Powers That Be sent me to you much as they sent the demon, Whistler, to you four years ago, during your previous stay in Los Angeles. Interesting, isn’t it? That the Powers always be sending you help in the city of your namesake? I thought it was anyway.

When we first met, I told you what I knew of your relationship with the Slayer. I didn’t tell you everything though. That too, was fated, as I suspect you already know. You should know, if you don’t. The problem was that The Powers That Be expected you two to take longer to recognize one another and that’s when things went askew.

Know what else was foretold? Your siring, the return of your soul, your… perhaps it’d be easier if I told you what <b>wasn’t</b>? Not much.

I’m going off in every direction, aren’t I?

My point is this, your entire life was meant to b. Your entire future has been fated. There will be hard times ahead, but you’ve also got a great deal of happiness to look forward to. You are of amazing strength and I do not mean physical. You are a True Warrior.

There are no limits. As I write this, I feel like a hypocrite, for here I am, when I’ve lived my entire life with nothing but limits, telling you not to. Another case of do as I say, not as I do, I guess. I doubt you’ll understand this when you read it. When the time comes, I hope that you do.

Just remember that life is as we see it because it is our perceptions that control us…

Keep on fighting the good fight, saving souls, and don’t worry about you r redemption. It will come.

All things come.

With time.

I’ll bet you never realized that I knew that much, huh?

Forever,
Frances Doyle

Oh, if I never got courage enough to do it, tell milady, Cordelia, that she was a very special girl that I loved very much, would you?

Slowly, Angel refolded the letter and placed it back inside its envelope. Sad tears stung his eyes and threatened to spill over, but he held them back. Crying couldn’t bring Doyle back.

Doyle had been right. He hadn’t realized just how wise he’d been. But more than that, he couldn’t help but wonder what had brought this out or what had inspired him to write his letter.

He stood up and walked to the door, peeking his head through. Cordelia looked up immediately.

"He loved you," was all he said, before disappearing back into his office, leaving Cordelia to watch after him with a bewildered look of sadness on her face.

Then he sat, contemplating the letter. Time…

Well, he had plenty of that on his hands. And at last, he knew, that he was on the right track.

His redemption would probably not happen tomorrow, the next day, or the day after that. Perhaps he wouldn’t even find it a year from now. But, somewhere down the road, perhaps in a couple of years, his redemption was waiting.

And hopefully then the happiness Doyle talked of would be one he could share with Her…

The End