borrowed sorrow for a troubled life I borrow all this sorry from my friends, borrowed tears from brokens heart and burrowed deep within, and inside out of all these souls its all borrowed day to day, eaten up inside torn up inside crying rivers inside torrents hearts torn and frayed, whom do I borrow from with cold calculating smiles, with a smirk of my lip cold even colder for a while, devoured by envy and compassion erased with hate, and whom will I borrow from to determine my fate? and I dream that tommorrow will surely erase today, for I dream that tommorrow dawns anew new people to meet, and I dream that my failures and faults will just melt away, in the clouds of my sanity reality will be real, for I dream that my tendency to be such a bitch, will give into my heart which should be stronger for which, and what side of me will win, my will or my addiction, to being jealous of everything and will all this conviction, for whom could there to be to take my place, with no smile and no trace of happiness upon my face, with a heart so bent on never opening nor recieving, any love from any other but my smile is decieving, so unremarkably angry with the world and in this, I find no solace only torment what a force to reckon, to counterbalance the effect that the world has on me, I find my freedom in writing words with no effect on anyone; but me: it will never be good enough my best only fails, no matter how nice or how kind I can be, no matter how many smiles outspoken with grace, an air always around me beams negative taste, so I drive it all away with words of rejections, and only in clarity do I ever find a reflection, in a pool so clear and so clean and so pure, I see a darkness a nothingness a Goddamn void! my head spins at night I am going crazy, with my hate like lust for a whore, that prances around a walmart or a club, in a few traces of nylon nothing more, I find myself wishing, dreaming hioping dreaming wishing for just ONE smile, that I have to work for break my back for and even maybe cry and I see hope, no hugs no boundaries should I throw this motherfucking talent all away? in the silences between words I dream of destiny and what stands in the way...... for me and for the torment I endure, why do I do this to myself? copyright 2002 The PooRe PoeT 10-12-2002