Forever Fourty-Nine for some reason I can feel you drifting loosely falling from my grasp and from my love and from my heart into the place that is called away; and if I cry you call me stupid and if I try you call me whiny but if to save the only thing left in the world that I love I have too take it; then I will: I have already promised forever to you and I already have promised my heart to you and it seems as if you take me for granted this that I have for you and I want to share; it is an indication when my inspiration starts to flow, it seems to be the showing of my lonesomeness coming through; why must you scream to prove your point? why must you hit to prove your point? why must you say those hurtful things to prove your point? and what point do you really prove? I sit alone and I feel distant, you sit with me and I feel distant- why do you talk of forever when disintegration is on your mind? why do you talk of marriage with me when I feel no confidence from you? and you tell me that you forget and that our fights do not affect you- and yet the light that comes from you emits love but seperation- but if I cry then I am silly and if I fight then I am weak and if I am silent we Become the silence and what I fight to never keep: why do we even have to go down too that level? we should in each moment grace each other in memory forever revealed- yet strikingly I find myself believing that out love is dead- helplessly I gloat as depression clouds my head- and all of this depression comes forever forty-nine- I find myself wishing that the past was here and time- the days go by and I grow sullen at the anger; hate in your words- and I define myself missing and in the revere so blissful I know not what I'll find- so I will dig in and hope some blessing- will save Our Love this time- and instead of forever shortened; being apart will be as being blind. 6-8-2001 (copyrighted 2001) by J.W. Farmer For Melissa Joye...for your heart was forever 49 degrees and that was too cold.