the black cloud always looms over my head, a cloud of darkness, and of hate, and depression, filled with blank thoughts, and suicide, impure thoughts; but I am rational, and overcoming the darkness, really isn't a problem anymore, and I think about you, and all you mean, not just another goodbye, myth; or something that is inbetween, I actually really care, for the first time, in some while, you have taken away my loneliness, and given point too pointlessness, you promise me there will be no goodbyes, and in my shallow mind, I believe you so, but for some reason, the clouds remains, but the feelings are different, I know, you treat me so well, and that is great, everything about real love, is here, I promise, I'll hold you forever, but the cloud remains, and it brings its' doubts, we've just began, and the future is bright, so don't leave me, I need you now more than ever, things cannot ever change, they must remain the same, it is different this time I promise, you are so sweet, you make me laugh, and forget my past, I hope you can stay with me, it needs too be that way, thanks for it all and everything, I know in my heart its' great...... by josh farmer copyright 1998 11-1-98 dedicated and for Jessica Taylor, sometimes memories never die.