The Lizards' Convention - Frequently Asked Questions

F(requently) A(sked) Q(uestions), in case you didn't know

First, here is the absolute MFAQ (that is: Most Frequently Asked Question):
Q:Where the (fill in applicable expletive) can I find your music?
A: Click here for long explanation. For a shorter version: Our label, Ponycanyon, is no more, our first CD in limbo. Second CD is ready, awaiting publication. Check back here soon for a few MP3's to tide you over.

Q: Why is guitaristfoundingmembersongwritersingerbongothwackerlizardman Adrian Loo always talking about fishing?
A: Oh dearie me, that is a rather personal response that would require a delicate answer. If truth be told, he has an improbable lisp that only manifests itself as he is typing on the keyboard. What happens is all the ‘t’s become ‘h’s. So, as you can gather, his obsession is not fishing.

Q: What happened to Sol Foo?
A: Sol Foo, former bassplayervocalistsuperbabe has *gasp* decided to leave the band to pursue a full time career in postnuptial affairs. Unfortunately, our rigorous touring/recording schedule conflicted with her ability to carry out the wedding. And as we all know, postnuptial affairs are often more demanding and, ahem, time consuming. Being a woman with a sound head on her shoulders, she has therefore decided to leave the band so that she can concentrate on her newly found married life. We wish her all the best.

Q: Can I marry Kristine Oehlers? She is such a babe!
A: Although technically (and in all other ways) the second part of the above f(requently) a(sked) q(uestion) is more of an exclamation than a question, it is included here because it is a frequently exclaimed exclamation. Since it is the only frequently exclaimed exclamation, it does not really warrant a FEE section, though a fee section might not be a particularly bad idea - pay a fee and enter the section... but that’s too complicated, so this is what we will do - whoever feels inclined can send us money, we will even mail you a stamped envelope. As for the first part of this faq: No.

Q: What is a koan?
A: What we would like to imagine is the plural or koala. Unfortunately, it is a very bad transliteration of the Chinese kung-an (which is another bad transliteratory attempt) which means “public notice”. Etymology aside, a koan is a paradoxical statement or question, a kind of conundrum developed in the Rinzai school of Zen (which originated in China and migrated to Japan) designed to baffle one’s intellectual comprehension, to push one to the limit of logic and reason, and by exhausting ones ordinary facilities with the hope of reaching the Extraordinary, or in Zenspeak (of course, real Zenspeak in no speak, well, it’s not even no speak...), Satori. BUT THE POINT IS, hidden in our humble webpage are some such koans and other parables...
(Notice that the long sentence previous to THE POINT actually has no discernible end? A clue to Leon's lyrics perhaps...? -ed.)

Q: Is Leon secretly in love with Kristine?
A: Secretly?! Where have you been in the last 34 seconds? No, never secretly! Secretly in love with Adrian perhaps, but Jehovah no, not Kristine! Duh. One does not stroll casually into love, one falls irretrievably in love! And the usual auditory accompliment to falling is usually a loud thump bang crash ooOOoooOoOoo clatter ouch (with all the different nuances the provided by the material and size of crasher and crashee), so how does one fall secretly? Perhaps in a forest with no one to hear the falling. But truly, there is nothing secretive, furtive, surreptitious, concealed, or clandestine about the state of ‘in love’ being the default state that exists between all the coy members of The Lizards’ Convention. They are all in love with each other, as distinct from being in love with love. In this case, love has an object which is really merely a vehicle for one to love one’s true self (we, having that Asian reserve, especially need a vehicle other than one’s own self to love the self) and in doing so loving all that is was, will be, and everything else that is was and will be does not include - which is the source, course, and goal of love, as a great Yogi once said. Nay (which is actually how no in Hindi is prounounced), never love secretly, love openly!

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