Helplessness -- Losing Reese

Disclaimer:  The TV show Dark Angel, all of the characters that appeared on it (Max, Zack, Colonel Lydecker, etc.), and everything else that has to do with the show belong to their respective owners, not to me.  No money is being made off of this fic.  I only own the original characters (Reese/X5-552, etc.).

Notes:  Takes place sometime between "A Taste of Everyday" and "Together" (May of 2015).  Spoiler-ish stuff for "Cold Comfort."

Zack hit the gas and flew down the highway on his motorcycle. I’m lucky I was as close as I'd been to Philadelphia! I hope Reese has managed to stay out of trouble. Get with the program, soldier, you know that he would have called you again if Lydecker had picked up on him again. He’s fine.

He turned off the interstate just outside of the city and drove down the streets until he finally reached the abandoned house that Reese had been living in for the past several months, stopping the bike a block short of the house and taking a good look around the area. I don’t see anybody. I don’t even see Reese’s motorcycle. He either brought it inside or he left it behind when he evaded Lydecker. He turned the bike off and got off of it and walked it the rest of the way to the house. He opened the door and walked inside and leaned the bike against the wall. “Reese? I’m here.”

“In the…bedroom,” Reese’s voice said weakly.

Zack felt concerned. He sounds sick. We don’t get sick. Is he having a seizure? Thank goodness I have some tryptophan with me. He walked quickly into the next room and stopped short when he saw Reese lying on the old couch. “Oh my God,” he whispered.

“Yeah, I look great, don’t I?” Reese managed to say before he started coughing.

Zack couldn’t say anything. Reese’s dark skin was gray-ish and wrinkled as if he had…aged. His black hair was now gray and streaked with white, he had been built like a football player but he was bent and seemed frail. Reese was barely eighteen but he had somehow aged at least sixty years.

“Don’t…” Reese started to say, but he started to cough again.

“Save your strength, Reese,” Zack said, snapping out of his trance. He walked over to Reese and looked around for a blanket. He couldn’t find one, so he just took off his jacket and laid it across Reese. “Hang in there, little brother. You’re going to be okay.”

“I won’t,” Reese said. “I’m dying, Zack. I know it.”

Zack paused to try to compose himself. “Reese…how did this happen?”

“I don’t know,” Reese confessed. “I started feeling a little off just as I was losing Lydecker. I got here and I started to feel really bad, so I laid down on this couch and…I don’t know what’s happening to me, Zack.” He looked Zack in the eye. “I’m scared, Zack. I don’t want to die.”

“I don’t want you to die either, Reese,” Zack said. “Just hang in there. Please, just hang in there.”

“I can’t,” Reese said. “I want to so much.” The younger X5 summoned the energy for a smirk.  "But at least Manticore won't get my ass, huh?  Sucks to be them."

"They won't get you because you'll be alive and safe," Zack insisted.

"Safe?  Yeah.  Alive?  No.  I'm sorry."  Reese's voice got weaker and his eyes started to close.

“Reese, stay awake,” Zack ordered. He fought to keep emotion out of his voice. “Reese, stay with me.”

“I can’t,” Reese whispered. “I’m sorry, Zack.” His eyes started to close again.

“Reese!” Zack said.

“Tell the others that I miss them and I love them,” he whispered. “I love you, big brother.” His eyes closed for the last time.

“Reese!” Zack yelled. Reese didn’t respond. Zack shook Reese’s shoulder, but he still didn’t respond. A few moments later, Reese stopped breathing. “Reese, wake up. Come on, Reese, wake up. I know you can wake up, little brother. Wake up!” Reese never responded and Zack sat there for a few moments, completely stunned, until he started to cry.

I failed him. I failed my brother. How could I have failed him? How could I have let him die? Reese…I’m so sorry.

Zack carefully took Reese’s body outside and laid him out on the pile of wood that had taken him a few hours to gather. He silently poured the gasoline that he’d stolen over the wood underneath the body and took the pack of matches that he’d also stolen out from his pocket. He closed his eyes for a moment before he took one of the matches, lit it, and touched the lit match to the wood. It started to burn immediately and Zack stood silently as Reese’s body was cremated in the fire.

They won’t ever find your body. I won’t give them that satisfaction, Reese. I already failed you once, I won’t… He blinked, trying to hold the tears back. He was sick. You couldn’t have prevented that. Whatever killed Reese, it sure wasn’t seizures. You couldn’t have done anything. Zack stared at the fire. What if this happens to another one of us? What if it happens to me or to Jondy or to Maxie…what if it’s not just something wrong with only Reese? For one of the few times in his life, Zack felt helpless. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t save Reese. He’d been helpless to prevent whatever had taken Reese’s life. He felt a chilling sense of loneliness come over him as his younger brother’s body turned into ash. I’m sorry.