Notes: Takes place during the episode "Cold Comfort," so spoilers for that episode as well as a small spoiler for "Prodigy." This is in first person P.O.V. from Lydecker's perspective.

For a moment, as the cold water splashed over my face, I didn’t know what the hell was going on. Then there was a woman snapping at me, demanding that I give the location of a kidnapped girl that I had no knowledge of. Why would she do that? I know I never met this woman before, though she does sound familiar. I felt hands grab my shirt collar and yank me forward.

A man spoke and I felt my head clear and things fell into place. There was no mistaking 599’s voice or that angry tone. I’ve heard that edge in his voice more times than I can count during the time before he and his unit ran from Manticore. I’ve also heard that same angry tone, though not quite to that degree in his mother’s—no, Caroline was not his mother. Regardless of the fact that she now knows what I had tricked her into doing, she is not 599’s—or 405’s, for that matter—mother and she never will be. She was nothing more than a person who donated genetic material.

I had to keep control. I knew my kids. They might have convinced themselves that after so many years away from Manticore that I no longer knew who they were and how they thought, but I still did where it counted. They ran away because of me, after all. As long as I kept control, I kept them off balance. I had to control them. If they were correct, somebody had taken 734 and I needed to bring her—and 599 and whoever the female was—back home.

599 had left and it was just myself and the young woman. We were quiet for a good long time. I had the feeling that she wanted to say as little as she could to me. I didn’t blame her. I continued to try to figure out who she was. Where did I know that voice from? The answer came to me after only another few moments. Rachel Glasser, the young woman at that conference here in Seattle. That woman who had reminded me so much of Lisa. It was 452. I had engineered her with Lisa’s DNA, after all. I still remember how much Lisa had wanted children and how she had finally managed to convince me to adopt one on the day that 599 had been born.

“Maybe we can even adopt two.” Lisa grinned. “One of each.”

Lydecker laughed. “Yeah, maybe you’ll get one of each someday but let’s start out with just one.”

I had thought about it for years and when the time had come to put together the last couple of X5s, I decided to come as close as I could to give Lisa her wish and I had two of the last X5s each use one of her eggs that we’d had frozen long ago. I made sure one would be a girl and one would be a boy. I even had made sure that they would have the same male genetic donor. When 157 and then 452 had been born, I felt calmer and more in control, knowing that part of Lisa was still nearby, was still with me.

I decided to try to talk with 452 and maybe even convince her that it wouldn’t be so bad to return home to Manticore. I wasn’t sure how much hope to hold out. If she was anything like Lisa, then it would be impossible. Our conversation started out calmly enough, but once I had mentioned the treatments for the seizures, I knew where 452 still stood, but I had to keep trying. Fortunately, 599 came in just as 452 was about to lose her temper.

I was honestly surprised when 599 told 452 that it was Jake Sanders who was holding 734. We had been good friends once upon a time. I haven’t seen him since 1988, but we’d kept in touch for awhile and he’d never said anything about going mercenary like he had apparently done.

I was feeling my spirits rise when 452 told 599 that they would take me along when they went to get 734. She was absolutely right, too. With me along, it would be that much easier for them to get in. 599 was—was cautious too weak of a word? It was just like Caroline, or Chris for that matter.

I had a hard time keeping my face neutral then. I missed my childhood best friend. I still remember the first day that I met Chris when we were only five and we’d been best friends since, though I never told him about my involvement with Manticore. It still hurt a lot to think about him and it had been so long since he had died as a result of that accident on his base. I was almost glad that he did die when he did because if he had found out what I had tricked Caroline into doing and what I had done to her after she had found out, I would be the one who was dead. Chris had been very protective of his only sister, just like 599 was protective of his ‘siblings.’

I had butterflies in my stomach. I actually had butterflies in my stomach. I was the original Mr. Heart-of-Ice. I never got nervous. I was nervous when Lisa and I had gotten married but that’s understandable. I had never been significantly nervous since. I was nervous now. They were going to show me their faces. Finally, I was going to see what 599 and 452 looked like after all of these years. Finally, it was going to be that much easier for me to bring the two of them back home.

I felt the blindfold being lifted off and I blinked. I was stunned. The world seemed to freeze. I looked up and for a moment, I could have sworn I was staring at the two people that I had lost so long ago. Lisa? Chris? I knew that blond hair and those blue eyes. I would know Lisa’s eyes anywhere. I knew how Chris loved his leather jacket and how he’d wear it every time he was off duty. I knew…

I knew that when ‘Lisa’ spoke again and ‘Chris’ pointed the handgun at my head, that the illusion was shattered and it was really 452 and 599 standing in front of me, not my long-dead wife and best friend. I looked again and I knew that it wasn’t them. 599 did have the same blond hair that Chris did and the same eyes that Chris did have and Caroline does have, but he was a few inches shorter than Chris had been and was broader in the shoulders than Chris had been. The face was a little different, too. 452 looked a lot like Lisa did and she her mannerisms were similar to Lisa’s, but she was definitely not Lisa. It was close enough to make me believe for a moment that it had been them. It was close enough to make my resolve weaken.

I mentally shook my head as I felt 452 untie my restraints. I had a mission to accomplish. I had to put what I had just felt out of my head. They aren’t Chris Robinson and Lisa Martinez-Lydecker, but X5-599 and X5-452, or Zack and Max as I knew they preferred. I had to use them to get 734 and then bring all three of them back to Wyoming and back to Manticore. Seeing them might have thrown me off of my game, but not for long. It was just for a moment.

The end