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Chapter Fourteen: My Son My son was conceived on the night Bud and I went to the New York boat show with Cess Ross. It was a LONG night ...lots of walking around ,a late dinner and lots to drink. I was drinking wine ! (Linda was also a glass of Sherry wine I had at Xmas time). I KNEW two weeks later that I was pregnant!!! I was horridfied as I was 38 years old and our marriage was on the rocks! I just couldn't imagine going all through the diaper stage again! Then I thought MAYBE.... just MAYBE a baby would make our marriage better. I thought that is was what it was lacking. We both had kids from previous marriages. Bud had two girls and I had three. The nine months were really rocky ones. Bud was abusive and kicked me in the right side when I was 7 1/2 months, leaving a bruise the size of a grapefruit! The night of my class reunion in August he starteed a fight which ended up with me socking him in the mouth (in self defence) and breaking his dentures. They flew ALL OVER the living room and sun porch. Of course I never made it to the reunion. He was building a new bar for Galligers in Belmar and each day when he was finised working he would sit at the old one and drink his way into a stuper. He'd hit home anywhere from 9 PM ti1 whenever. Some nights he NEVER made it home. I was miserable! On Saturday October the 2nd the girls (Linda and Sally) were down to Pt. Pleasant for the weekend. We waited dinner until 8 PM and ate without Bud. I had made a leg of lamb, mashed potatos and gravey, and peas and mint jelly. I finally put all the food away when BUd came in at 11:30 AND demanded dinner. The girls were still watching TV and were scared to death as Bud ranted and raved. He then decided HE would make his OWN dinner. He took out a dozen eggs and without USING a pan, started cracking them onto the fire on the stove. I went out and tried to stop him from making such a mess that I knew I'd end up cleanning and we got into a fight. He threw the eggs at the wall and almos hit Sally and Linda. I got scared and called Cyril. He and Audrey drove down and picked the kids up and took them back to Long Branch. Then Bud came after me and hit me and knocked me down. I called the police. They sent four policemen over and they all got into a fight. Bud broke one guy's jaw and another ones collar bone. The last I saw of him that night. He was being dragged out of the kitchen by his feet and ended up in jail for the night. I never slept a wink that night and DREADED the next day. He came walking in at 7 PM and sat down and fell asleep. At 11:20 I started into hard labor, woke him up and asked him to drive me to the hospital. He refused. Then I asked him for taxi money to call a cab and get me there. He refused. I started to call the police and then he decided to drive me over. He pulled up to the front door and said "GET OUT". I got out and he drove off! At 12:00 AM I can remeber Dr. Dulet coming in to see me as my supper of spaghetti started slowly coming up and running down my hospital gown. I could have cared less. He put me out and the next thing I knew was at 2:20 AM he was leaning over me saying "Mrs. White ....you had a baby boy and he is doing fine". Then Bud appeared at my side, ALL SMILES! We named him Christopher Ross (after Cess' last name) White. He was so cute! The first day he looked just like Donald Duck. I came home the second day as we had no insurance. All the kids came down and Aunt Hazel and my grandfather's second wife Peggy came by to see him. I hadn't been home two hours! Bud was an angel for three weeks, maily because he had several conplaints against him for his assault on me and the four policeman. That case was coming up on the third week of October. His lawyer made me take Chris to court to soften up the judge and cops so he wouldn't land in jail with BIG fines. It worked! He got off with a small fine and his hands slapped. The first three weeks he came straight home from work and was a very contented husband and father. Of course he NEVER would change a diapper or even try to learn. Then he was back to his old tricks of NOT coming home, etc. I used to HAVE to drive 20 miles to the Oasis bar to get money for milk and baby food. I lost ALL respect for him. When my father died on my birthday (1966) Bud would not come home so I could go to his funeral. Bobby Demaree took care of hris while I went to THAT Fiasco. In April I decided to leave him. I had been very fortunate to find great baby-sitters in the Taylor family. Susan was my usual one and when she couldn't sit, her sister Debbie did and then their mother. When I got a job at the Turf Club in Oceanport as a barmaid "Mom" Taylor took on the job as main sitter as I worked days and Susan and Debbie both were still in school. It was at the Turf Club that I met Bill Ganley, who I fell in love with. We dated for three years .but he was a mommas boy and his mother and I didn't get along. It was a rocky romance also, as he was a drinker too (Boy I sure could pick them!). When Chris was turning five (Editor: Oh yeah this is the chapter on her son...) we moved to Twinbrook Gardens so that he would go to a good school. That meant NEW sitters. He had several, mostly from that neighborhood. I worked in The Pine Tree and Colonial bars at that time, AND I RODE A BIKE EVERYWHERE as I lost my drivers license. CLICK HERE (Try grocery shopping and see how tough that is). Then when Chris was finishing second grade we moved to Southbrook Gardens in Eatontown. It was a nice aptartment, but there I had to sleep on the convertable couch. He went to Vetter's School and luckly fell in with some great kids who are still his best friends today. I resided there for 25 years. Chris was a very cute and VERY good boy. He was a joy. I worked in the mall and he would walk over and meet me for lunch on Saturdays, etc. We had no car then. I'd walk to work. He went out for football in his freshman year of high school. I was against it, but he wanted to do it so I gave my OK. Fortunatly in the first game he played he hurt his knee (Editor: Actually is was during practice) The Dr. told him he was growing too tall, too fast and that football was not his fortay. So he went out for baseball and he WAS GOOD AT THAT (Editor: debatable, but thank you for the support). Almost forgot to mention that I discovered at an early age that Chris had a great sense of humor and a very thoughtful, caring , sharing disposition! One night (when he was about 10 years old) we were watching a TV movie. I forget what the program was, but it was a mystery of some kind. Someone was MISSING and the only clue was a black glove that was found at the spot where this victim was last seen. I had to use the bathroom and when I came out, Chris was nowhere to be seen... BUT there in the middle of the living room floor was A BLACK glove! He had simply disappeared. I cracked up laughing. After looking all over the apartment, I found him hiding behind the recliner in the corner smiling at me. I don't know why I found this so funny but I (to this day) smile whenever I think of it. It was the same year that he decided to become a paper boy. I came home from work one day to find the dinning room LOADED with copies of the Asbury Park Press. THEY WERE EVERYWHERE! Mounds of them, overflowing into the living room. Each day he would take them for delivery around our complex and at Laural Gardens next door. On one such occasion he was sick and the snow was a couple of feet deep. He trudged out with the papers on his sled. It was a miserable day. He was having trouble delivering them so I finally took him out in the old car I had. The other problem with the paper route was he had LOTS of trouble collecting the money for them from SOME of his customers. After three months (or what seemed like three months) he finally decided to give up the route. It was a relief to me. It was also a very rough time for me financially. I had to go out in the winter without socks or knee highs as I didn't have the money to but them. One night when I came home he and Sally were sitting with me eating dinner and he had this sparkle in his eyes. He handed me a shoe box and told me to open it (It may have been my birthday coming up). I said I would open it then. He and Sally said "Open it NOW!" When I did there was ALL the money($32.00) he had made selling those damn papers (in the snow etc). He told me to buy knee highs with the money. He was sooo proud of himself. BUT NOT as much as I was of him! I knew THEN that he would always be a compassionate guy. In senior High at Monmouth Regional he also met Cathy Schloesser. She was cute and when I first met Deneen (the love of his life) I couldn't get over how closely she looked like Cathy. He took Cathy to his Senior Prom. They went with Frank Ruscil. I took pictures of the three of them at the aptartment and kept calling Cathy "Debbie", who had been a previous girlfriend. I thought Chris would turn inside out. I made that mistake at least five times while I was trying to get good pictures of all of them. Poor Chris almost turned inside out EACH time I blurted out Debbies name! He still dated her while they were both in College. She went to Trenton and he went to Stockton. In May of his senior year at High School , I took a job as a live in housekeeper/baby sitter for the Raparsardi Family who lived in Wall Township. Chris worked at Monmouth Park Race track in the summers in college. It was his first or second day on the job and I was sitting in the kitchen when this jeep pulled up out front. I reconized the driver as a VERY OLD friend of mine Buzzy Brainard. Chris was in the other seat, Buzzy got out of the car and ran around to help Chris out. THEN I saw a BIG cast on his right leg from toe to his knee. He had been asked to help lift a cement sign off the ground and move it somewhere, and as he lifted it up the cement came off it's pole and broke Chris leg! THAT laid him up for the summer. He had JUST bought his first car, THE LEMON of the century. It was a 1973 yellow beetle with automatic drive (SORT OF!). It ended costing me a LARGE fortune. When Chris went to England as an exchange student for six months I drove it to work in Spring Lake. It was his 2nd semester Junior.year. I still have the postcard he sent me when he ran out of money, itemizing all his expenses (The postcard was HUGE!!!!). He loved College and also his summer job at the racetrack as a valet. He'd still be doing BOTH to-day if he had the chance! All of his fellow roomates (and the whole courtyard) were not allowed to reside on campus his senior year as they had totally destroyed the courtyard his junior year. LUCKIALLY for him, Linda (his sister) and her husband Basil had just had a prefab home built about seven miles from Stockton, in Mays Landing. They rented him a room there for his final semester at Stockton. n his last semester he went to Washington DC to work for the Chubu Electric Company as an intern. Sally and I went down to see him in my new Honda. We had a great time! I had never been to Washington before. Sally had a quick affair with Chris' roommate TODD HELLER. I could have killed her on the spot, but tried to ignore it. I think it really embarassed Chris, It did me. I got really sick eating Sushi and was in bed two days from it when I got home. Linda was pregant that year but between us we managed to throw him a nice graduation party. MANY ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT IT, especially one of his best friends CHIP. It cost me close to $2,300 between the food, BOOZE, band, OUTHOUSE, and all that goes with it, but it was worth it. We also shared the costs with the Rossi's, as both Mario and Chris graduated the same time, had the same friends, and the same party. In October of that year, Linda gave birth to a little girl who she named Kristin. Chris is her Godfather and Sally is her Godmother. Neither have been very good at the job! Sorry to say, but it's true. When Chris graduated from Collage he and his best friend (Kevin Halverson) decided to tour the United States. !They were gone a couple of months. They took pictures and home movies of everything they thought was worthwhile. The sad part was that towards the end of that journey while in Chicago, someone broke into Kevin's car and STOLE everything worthwhile, except Chris's ledger. They were so distraught they left there in a blizzard and drove straight home, heart-broken, with the snow and cold air coming in the back window. Thankfully we had homeowners insurance that covered our losses. The memories will last forever though. NOTES : ONE can of SPAM traveled ALL over the U.S. and home. They never learned HOW GOOD a can of spam could taste fried over an open fire! ON the first part of their journey they took the tent BUT FORGOT the poles that held it up, so much for organization! Chris got a job at Agency Rent-A-Car after graduting from college. He moved in with Mario and took Gus with him (INSERT DOG STORY). He didn't like that job very much. Then he got a job at Trump Plaza where he met Deneen (AND HE FELL IN LOVE). He moved to Brigantine and roomed with Ed Sites and Deneen. It was a really nice house. At that point he owned a jeep. I remember there was a big storm and the water from the bay went up above everyone's car (except the jeep). There was a sailboat in his backyard on the golfcourse. Deneen's car was ruined. I think I was working at Harry Beede's then in colts Neck I had my Honda. One day I got a call from him. He said, "MOM I'm In love!" He told me it was Deneen. That was the beginning of a whole new life for him. I was happy for him and I liked her. He took her to Sally and Larry's wedding in 1990 (check date). In 1994 they tied the knot in Lakewood. It was a beautiful wedding. The reception was at Trump Regency Hotel in Atlantic City. Kristin was a flower girl and Linda was one of the bridesmaids. Justine and Denise were also bridesmaids and a couple others (I can't remember who). Everyone had a great time and Deneen was a beautiful bride(The groom was pretty handsome too!). They bought their first home in Sickerville NJ. Pretty soon, my beautiful grandson (CJ White) came into the world. He was adorable!!! I went down to stay awhile and take care of him so Deneen could go back to work. Gus was so protective of CJ. They had lots of friends coming over every weekend, especially after they put in the pool. Great times were had by all. One time Chris went to the store and took CJ. He left him in the car while he ran in for some little thing. Deneen REALLY reamed him out about that and she later told me that he felt soooo bad about WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED to the baby that he laid down on the floor and cried. I believe it, as he is very caring. He was working at that time (and still is) at Philadelphia Park Race track on their simucasting station. Both Deneen and Chris are VERY GOOD parents, and he really lucked out in the "in-law" department. Josette (Deneen's mother) is the BEST mother-in-law he could EVER wish for (also a WONDERFUL "NANA" to CJ). Deneen and her mother are VERY close which is so nice. I wish my daughters were the same way with me. They do everything together. I guess if I had been a better mother they MIGHT have been. Now their not even around here to help me out in my old age! They've all flown the coop to SUNNY Florida! The family is now living in Williamstown NJ in a beautiful home which Deneen has decorated just great. Chris has a bar in the basement that is "OUT OF THIS WORLD". All sports stuff and first rate. He enjoys it with his friends and family. They put a new pool in there a couple of years ago which EVERYONE really enjoys. They go on vacations every year and go skiing for four days during the Super Bowl, which is always on my birthday. There are about fifthteen or twenty that go. Last year Sally went for the first time and she is going again this year. Chris and Kevin Halverson( his best friend from High school) compete for "best skier title". About nine years ago I went on my one a only life-time cruise with the family and friends and had a wonderful time. These are memories I will NEVER forget. My only beef in life now is that I don't get to see Chris, Deneen, and CJ much anymore as I just can't do the drive down there alone. It's also a LONG drive up here for him too and he NEVER has enough time here when he does come as he has to hurry back to either pick up CJ from school or hurry to work. So life is lonesome for me and busy for him. Thank God for HOLIDAYS! NEXT... |
| T h e L o v e l y L o i s S t o r y A Biography of Lois Eleanor White |
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