| Chapter 17:
Good Stories, Bad Things "Down Goes Frazier!" Been thinking about Joan Dodson and the broken nose I gave her one night. BEST INVESTMENT I EVER MADE! She really had it coming to her. She was an EX girlfriend of Bill Ganley and had been living with her (then) boyfriend who was the undertaker, and lived above Wordens Funeral home in Red Bank. She was a real thorn in my side. She was always dropping comments about me to Bill or anyone who would listen to her. This particular evening she came into the Colonial where I was working as a barmaid and plopped herself down next to Bill. It was almost time for me to be finished for the day. At 6 PM when I was done, I came out from behind the bar and sat down a few seats from Ganley. He had waited to loan me $10.00 to purchase my monthly food stamps ( I ALWAYS PAID HIM BACK). She made a comment about it out loud to everyone about “Gee Lois doesn't even have a lousy ten dollasr to buy her food stamps with.” It was very embarrassing and I just LOST it. Before I knew what happened ... I had gotten up and walked three steps to her and socked her in the nose! Blood was EVERYWHERE. I said, "you know where to find me when you want another one" and left, as the ambulence raced to the scene of the crime. They took her to Riverview and corterized her nose. She ended up with a blck eye and had her nose operated on (She had planned to do that anyway... I just helped her along). The next day she filed a complaint against me for assault. I had to go before Judge Bill Throckmorton in Oceanport two weeks later. Bill Throckmorton tried to make a hit on me at Baxters New Years Eve party a few years before, so I knew him well. I thought he would throw the book at me. I took the stand and told everyone how she had humiliated me and how much it hurt me for her to be blabbing my personal struggles to the crowded bar. I guess the judge felt sorry for me as he only fined me $25.00 (Which Bill Ganley paid...that really pissed Joan off). It was WELL WORTH IT! IF I had know it would only cost that little I would have done it a year SOONER! George Skokos was a lawyer and knew my father well. He came with me and took me out (to the Colonial) after for a drink. Everyone appaulled when we walked in. I thought Joan would go bulistic! I could have pleaded NOT GUILTY WITH RESONABLE CAUSE, but I figured what the heck I DID punch her and she still had the black eye and swollen nose to prove it. I was happy! Outside of that she was the only one I ever hit in anger (except your father, and that was self defence). "Wind Beneath My Windows" The window smashing came as a result of Bill Ganley being drunk and mad at me. .I just happened to be coming home from Neptune one night and rode up behind him. He thought I had been following him (another time I might have, been but NOT that night). He pulled over to the side of the road and got out of his car. I thought something was wrong with his car and also stopped. He came up to my mighty Dodge Dart and started smashing the windows. He smashed out both sides and the rear window, got back into his car and drove to his house. I sat there dumbfounded and finally got out of the car, swept up the one million pieces of glass ...put them in a box and drove to his house where I dumped them onto his drive way. WE (you and I ) drove around all winter with the snow blowing in one window and out the other until I saved enough money to get new ones three months later. It got mighty cold that year. I can't say my life has been HAPPY but like Deneen said "IT has been interesting”, but NOW it is very boring. Chris and his family are the only BRIGHT SPOTS in my life right now. I enjoy going to the movies with Cookie. NOW THERE"S ARE REAL GOOD FRIEND! I still enjoy the races when I can afford to go, even though I'm alone there, I'm still with lots of people. "White Scores 51" The following story is true. The names have not been changed to protect anyone. The Lovely Lois is the mother of Pubmaster Whitey. There is a good chance that she will be the topic of many storys to come. Her debut story will look at how, in one night, she outscored the St. Louis Rams. I was just a kid, maybe eight years old. It was a Sunday night and I was sick. The Lovely Lois knew that a clear liquid would have soothed my upset stomach. She knew two other things as well. One- we didn't have any clear liquids in the house, and two- she didn't have a license. She had lost her license earlier in the year for accumlating too many points. She was on the 'revoked list'. However, it was getting late on a quiet Sunday evening in Monmouth County, NJ, and the store was just a few short blocks down the road. She said herself "I'm going in", and was off. The Quick Check had just closed for the evening. "Damn", she muttered. A dim light went off in her head as she scanned her memory of other convienance stores in the area. "Ah yes, just a town away is another store", and she was off again. Imagin her dismay as she pulled into the parking lot of the darkened vender. "Hmmm, well I'm out this far, I may as well complete the mission and get what I need". She succeeded in finding an open store in Oceanport and was heading for home. Now time for the "Who needs enemies when I have a friend like you" portion of the story. As The Lovely Lois was heading into Oceanport, a lovers quarrel was about to ignite the night. Bill Ganley was in a bar talking to a cop friend. He mentioned that The Lovely Lois was behind the wheel. "One Adam Twelve, be on the lookout for a light blue four-door sedan with a female driver in her mid to upper forties, driving on the Revoked List", police scanners blared. Often the only kind of luck The Lovely Lois had was bad luck. "License, insurance, and registration", the young officer stated. She granted his request, and he took the documentation back to the cruiser. She panicked. Somewhere Richard Petty's ears got hot as The Lovely Lois jumped on the trottle and the chase began. Three towns of chase. Back roads, county roads, one way roads all included. One cop who got a bit too close found himself in a field. A real life Smokey and the Bandit my mom was acting out. Unfortunatly, the police knew exactly where she was heading and set up a road block in front of our neighborhood. They wanted to make sure she got back her driving documents. The Lovely Lois, always with a keen eye spotted the conglomeration of shiny cars with swirling lights (as did small aircraft overhead) and changed her course. Down a small sidestreet, across a yard, and to the safety of her parking lot she roared. Clear liquid in hand, she dashed into the house, closed all curtains, changed into her pajamas, and opened the couch's foldaway bed in the blink of an eye. Somehow she was able to work up a curious look when the police knocked on the door. "Are you through for the evening Lois?" was the officers deadpan quote. Meanwhile, I'm excited. Police from three different towns right there in my parking lot! Police feeling the tires and hood of our car and burning themselves. Fortunately my mother had watched her fair share of police dramas, and told them she wasn't going anywhere without a warrant. They sighed dissapointedly, and with heads hung low drove away in search of a judge who would agree to arrest the mother of an eight year old boy who had just outdriven them all. In the early hours of a Monday morning, Eatontown's finest returned with the warrant. "There are lights in the windows Mom", I said. "Be quiet", she hissed. For some unknown reason, they left. The next morning The Lovely Lois dressed in her best outfit, took out her bicycle, and peddled to the Police Station to turn herself in . A few weeks later she stood before the judge and listened to her escapades read before her. Total score for the quest for clear liquids came to 51 points. Fifty-One points and a whole bunch of fines. Since she was a single working parent, she was able to work out a payment plan. Her license would be returned after the fines were paid. Nine years later the state of New Jersey reinstated her right to drive in the Garden State. I was always the kid that needed a ride to baseball practice after that. I think I was faking the sickness too. NEXT... |
| T h e L o v e l y L o i s S t o r y A Biography of Lois Eleanor White |
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