august 8th, 1999
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"but fire thought she'd really rather be water instead"
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Don't feel like writing; am worn out, my muse put through the wringer after a long week of work. just want a day of rest. yes, that's it.
Saw Daniel today- don't know about him, his hands massaging in a gentle non-threatening way, kind of sweet and caked w/ cheesey pick-up lines. i'm still unsure of how i feel about him though...he's too good to be true. i should love him, i should love him... (jones says: "don't settle for 2nd best." what if he's the best but i'm unable to feel him? what if?)
I should love daniel. but i don't.
my muse is nocturnal; she wrestles w/ these thoughts in my off-time, melissa falling out of chairs w/ the flip of a foot, red faced/ hair wild against brown carpeting. she could grab him, craning her neck in a kiss; she would never let him go.
i- i can't even hold on; my hands slip as ice slips to the touch; i lose because i try so hard.
i want to love daniel. but i can't.
i don't know which rejection is worse.
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