rants

You too can be an independent thinker!! It's not too late. Down with conformity! Although, I do almost fit the picture of a conformist, I assure you I'm not. Or at least I think so. This is really just a random assortment of writing. I'm really not a complete asshole. Careful kiddies, I've been known to use some bad words when I'm unhappy.

Music - What the hell is up with music today? We call a group a "band" when they don't play their own instruments or write most of their songs. They're merely puppets to some executive in a high-rise building wearing a $7,000 Gucci suit. I really hate boy bands. I completely despise them. Go ahead, say I'm jealous. I'm not. I could care less about having millions of dollars. Money just makes your life worse. I have no need to spend exorbant amounts on clothing or material items. As Bruce Lee said, money is merely a means, not an end. Charities are good. There's just something about a group that was manufactured purely to make money that aggravates me. All their music is the same. Same subject. They don't play any instruments. Is there any coincidence to the fact that most of the songs they write really suck ass? They were taught everything. What to say, how to act, how to dance. That's not music. That's a conspiracy. And all these teenage girls go crazy for them. Why? Because of the way they look. That's not a legit way to sell music. You should buy music only because of how it sounds and the meaning behind it, not how good the members look. Problem is most teenage girls are too ignorant to realize they're a tool of some major corporation. Why do most teenage males dislike boy bands? They're smart enough to realize the truth. Pop music sucks. All the shit that's out there on MTV sucks. Fuck MTV. They had Avril Lavigne cover Metallica's "Fuel." There's so many things wrong with that, I won't even start. Most of what MTV plays is complete shit. Manufactured music. What about Christina Aguilera now? She might as well just go ahead and star in pornos already. That whore has flashed her ass and fake breasts for a photo shoot, proving she only is popular since she acts like a slut. Seen the latest photos of Christina? She got fat. I swear, I'm not lying. You'll see. Sure Britney is hot, but she's not the greatest singer in the world. I can't sing well either, that's why I don't make music. That and rap sucks. What the fuck does 'shizzle' mean? For the love of God, speak english. No more retarted english. Hasn't our society been dumbed down enough? You know your form of music is pretty bad when you've gotta come up with your own words just to fill space in your song. How many times will you hear the words what, yo, and uh in a rap song? Missy Elliot, I can't stand your songs. Also, please stop making sexual refernces to yourself in them. You're horribly ugly. Everyone lately is selling out too. LL Cool J made that piece of shit for Dr. Pepper.

Pizza - One day I realized that the pizza industry has been ripping us off for years. Whenever you ask for extra cheese, you have exactly no way to know if you really got it. I mean honestly, is there that big of a difference between a normal pizza and one with extra cheese? Papa Johns owes me big time.

Cars - This summer I saw a 1980 Nissan Sentra with enough bass to pop open it's trunk. Do you really need that much bass in a car so shitty? Go sans the soundsystem and save for a new car you douche! What about the guys who put really large decals on their car that say what kind of car it is. I could really give a shit, so could 99.999% of the human race. You might as well just put on a big sticker that says "Asshole" or "Poser." Those people are the ones that buy worthless shit like hair in a spray can. Or how about the people with Chinese writing on their car. How do they really know what it says? I'm willing to bet most of the time it says shit like "Moron" or "I'm a Penis."

The last time I went out to eat at Pizza Hut, I noticed they had a jukebox. I've found the best way to make the dining experience as miserable as possible. As you're leaving, pump a few quarters in the jukebox and select the worst songs they've got. As I was leaving I selected "Mabmo #5." I wasn't expecting to hear much of any reaction, after all I was in Ohio, but to my surprise, about 5 people commented on how shitty the song was. Mission Accomplished, sort of. It would have been better if "Fuck the Police" was a choice, but this is Pizza Hut, not Planet Hollywood.

If you've been to an amusement park, you've surely seen the poles that the ride ops have to measure kids. Do not, under any circumstances, crouch down, walk like a constipated ape and ask "am I tall enough?" No matter how funny you think that may be, it's not. I heard that about 10,000 times this summer and every fucking person thought that was the first time I heard it. You're not original. You're about .5 seconds away from getting punched in the face, unless you're a hot girl who wants to date me. The first person who asks me that fucking question this summer is gonna get smacked in the head with my PVC pole. At Cedar Point, we use PVC. Beware at Six Flags where your average employee is 100 times more disgrunteled, they've got metal poles there. What a bright idea that was.

Now that I work in retail, the stuff people do still amazes me. Basically the same, asking for something when they're looking right at it deal. I love it when they take something out of the box, only to choose another one. Why? You know the open one is fine, you just looked at it a second ago. Then they leave the item, out of the box, in the middle of the aisle. I just wonder sometimes why some people can't be a little nicer. We've got these talking cookie jars that say random things when you open them. Let's see, there was a dog that sung "Who let the dogs out," a policeman that says "Stop, move away from the cookie jar." I wish more people would follow that one. Put it down, and stop opening the damn thing. Nobody really buys those, since they know they're gonna get reallly damn annoying within 2 days. If one of those ever goes on clearance, I'm getting one just so I can run it over with my truck and set it on fire. Sweet retribution. I can't stand those damn things. I deal with it though. Sort of. At least once a day at work, I get asked "Do you work here?" Well, I'm wearing red and khaki, plus I've got a Target nametag on. Figure it out. Somedays, I just say no and walk away. It's kinda funny.

Here at UF, we've got some large lecture rooms, example: NPB 1001 in the new Physics Building. It holds about 300 people. Now, everyday, in the class before mine, these guys come out and stop right in front of the doorway. Are they just too stupid to understand that there's 298 people behind them that'd like to leave. Sure there's other doors. But 90% of the people use that one door. So these assholes block traffic. Maybe one day somebody will just push him out of the way. That's what you get for being a moron. These are the kind of people that think merely about themselves. There's too many people like that unfortunately.

The more time in college, the more I hate cell phones. They really are evil. I really hate the people who use them on the bus. Is there any conversation so important that you have to have it in front of 30 people in a confined area. I could give a shit what class you're going to or how trashed you were last night. What's that you say, Lisa like totally went out with some guy last night? I don't give a fuck. In our libraries, they've got a shitload of signs that say to turn your cell phone off. Apparently, not every student here at the Univeristy of Florida can read, because I hear at least 3 every time I'm in the library. What the fuck has happened to courtesy? I fucking hate cell phones.

I can't help but look at all the professors around and wonder what they were like in school. Were they just like most students now? Maybe. Once you get your doctorate though, it seems like a law that the hair you lose on your head is compensated for by the length of hair on your face. So many of my professors have been almost bald, but have a decent length beard. Some have a good sense of humor, some don't. One of my old physics profs was deriving an equation for electromagnetic waves, when he decided he'd add a funny. It was something to the likes of "Now I'm going to divide by dx, which is something you're not supposed to do, but I'm going to do it anyway. You can't stop me." I chuckled. Hey, that was funny. Guess you kinda have to know some integral Calculus to really get that. Oh well. He also answered the question as to why transformers hum with "Because they're happy." Good call. Though, I still don't know why they do. I guess it has to do with the electro-mechanical vibrations.

Most people don't read enough. I mean actual books. Not CD labels. When did reading become something uncool? It was funny to hear some freshmen in my english class groaning about having to actually read the books. Check out The Perks of Being A Wallflower. It's a pretty quick read, but very enjoyable. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is excellent as well. When it comes to textbooks, if I pay $100 for it, I'm damn sure gonna read it. Especially considering the amount you get when you sell it back. I've been screwed on four books so far, as they're the old editions that aren't being used anymore.

Do you consider society today too violent? In the US, yes. Elsewhere, it's not. The amount of violence I've been exposed to thus far in my life has pretty much desensitized me to it. At least in the media anyways. I can kill mercilessly in video games without as much as a second thought. I've got this theory that it's all part of the govt's plan to make us better soldiers. They help fund the technology to make games more realistic, we kill more, we get used to killing more. Make sense? The strategy games many of us play so often get us to learn and apadt warfare tactics. Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six series is incredibly popluar, and pretty good. It all centers around counterterrorist teams. Coincidence? Well, art does imitate life. Video games are art, don't try to argue this one.

Rants