I cant very well have a site about me without dedicating a page to my better half, so this is Dave's page and It will probably show a deep side of me as i go on to decribe what he means to me.
As you already know Dave and i met on ICQ in 1999. Dave is 24, 3 and a half years younger then me. When we chatted online i thought if him as a sweet kid. He has a wonderful , supportive, close family unit and he has a heart of gold and a gentle nature. He was a shy city boy, and i was ...well ,,, a feral from the bush, rough, ready, i worked hard and i played hard, i was at a stage in my life where i really didnt care anymore, i had given up on pretty much any hope of normality in my life. My nights were filled with drinking binges, chatting to stay awake all night so that i didnt have to sleep and face the nightmares and haunts from my past. My days were full of working away in a fish n chip shop, the only work i had ever known or thought myself good enough for . I lived alone in a small dingy dark flat the only company i had were strays i picked up from the pubs on weekends and cockroaches thru the week. I was not the kind of woman any man would dream of taking home to meet ma and pa. I was so caught up in depression and self pity and hopelessness that I didnt even contemplate a serious loving longterm relationship. So i didnt look for it. Dave and i chatted on the puter for 4 mths before i invited him around for coffee. Well actually i had invited him many times ,, but it took him 4 mths to get the courage. He would drive past my flat trying to get the balls to come in but he was very shy and i guess he thought i would bite or something. It was amazing ,, the first time i met him i thought cute kid, the second time i met him he bought me flowers and all of a sudden i felt like a woman. The 3rd time he came over he took me for a 500km drive to get pizza. Man i loved those drives, just drive with no destination in mind, kinda like my life. Id sit there and watch him as he drove, and listen to him sing along with the stereo. I fell in love with his mouth ,, he has a great mouth! Dave was the first bloke to stay the night and not lay a hand on me. I thought ok ,, either he is gay or he is broken or could he actually be,,,, gasps,,, a gentleman??? I never met a gentleman b4, only scumbags. So it was a whole new ballgame for me. This relationship was going to be different. He showed me respect, he showed me compassion, he showed me i was worth love, and he taught me to accept love. He also taught me what it is like to actually enjoy love. I knew i had to clean up my act, i was no where near worthy of this man. I stopped drinking, i stopped drugs, I got rid of people who were bad influences in my life and i cleaned my act up. To the point where i actually felt the walls come down and i felt like I was the person i wanted to be again. The person who hid behind the numb, uncaring, you cant hurt me walls,,,was dying and the real me was being reborn through daves love and understanding and patence and tollerence and guidence. It is somthing i will always be greatful for and I can remember saying to myself,, even if Dave is a shortterm existance in my life, i will always feel blessed that i had him in my life at all. Dave saved me from myself. Im not sure if he is fully aware of the suffering i was putting myself thru at the time ,, or if he is aware of the incredible strength his love gave to me. But my love for him is everlasting and wholehearted and my appreciation of him is immense. Because of Dave i am a better person, and i feel alive and able again. And each night b4 i go to bed i thank God for sending him to me. Sometimes when he is asleep i just sit and watch him and listen to him breath , and touch his face softly, and just love him silently. but shhhhhhhh dont let Dave know how much I love him! He might use it against me!
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