"Nursery Rhymes: Why lord, Why? Vol 2
By Wayne Moyer

*Authors note: Sorry, but the little red riding hood story couldn't be written this week because red was out screwing some other animal, turning down my request for an interview


In my second installment of why nursery Rhymes corrupt the youth of America, I will analyze why the hell three totally strange men are bathing together in a tub. First off, I do not persecute those with homosexual tendencies and/or desires and/or pictures of Burt Reynolds up on their wall. I mean, come on, Burt was a hottie. Anyway, "Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub" WHY IN GODS NAME ARE THEY IN A TUB?! And why are we teaching to innocent young children that homosexual activity is the correct way of life? Children are extremely impressionable, and we go on telling them a rhyme about the gay adventures of butcher a baker, and a candlestick maker? It's an insane mistake that millions of American mother/fathers make everyday.


Second of all, what is the significance of their occupations? Why does the author of this lovely, homo erotic poem suggest that three men, of seemingly equal age, and different positions in life have some anal butt lovin going on in a wooden tub about 5 feet in width? But like I said, I do not persecute the fag-I mean homosexuals in anyway. I am just another curious mind wondering why we are telling our children- the future of this brown, scorched Earth, a tale about three gay men. Back to the significance of their jobs:
The butcher: A confident gay man that likes to take charge. With a cleaver in hand, the butcher wears the pants in the orgy. He threatens the other sensitive men with the meat cleaver, therefore forcing them to participate in the tub orgy.

The baker: Ah, the "woman" in the orgy of course. After a hard nights worth of tub-love making, the baker lies with his anal compadres and bakes them a nice, sweet apple pie. A hearty dinner after an orgy always lifts the tension in the tub world.

The candlestick maker: What is a male orgy in a wooden tub without some toys? Nothing! That's why the candlestick maker brings the supplies to keep the men content. Enough said, it makes me feel icky inside.


Ok, now that we know the significance of their occupations, we should all take the time to think why we tell this to our young people. WHY? BECAUSE THIS WORLD IS A SICK, HYPOCRITICAL, BLASPHEMOUS, THICK-HEADED, CORRUPTION TANK OF NURSERY RHYME SLUDGE! We have sitcoms to teach kids about the ways of the homosexual species, we certainly don't need a conspicuously ambiguous poem to do it.


Next week: Red's back with a tale of why she's a whore! Maybe.

Back Home