Nice guys = losers. Big dumb guys who treat girls like crap = winners.

Part 1 - The Asshole Complex.
Ah yes, the fabled asshole complex. This is a simple formula for getting girls. Now, reading thus far you may come to say "A-ha! what I lack in looks, useful knowledge, or talent...I can make up for by being a really nice guy!" WRONG. Do NOT do this, girls hate this. Girls have an ingrained complex that will, nomatter what, always cause them to return to guys that act like assholes around them. Thus, if you want to get a date, you should approach a potential mate and push her into the mud, then perhaps roll over her with a wheelbarrow full of cinderblocks. This will ensure her undying devotion.
Part 2 - Herds
Girls are like antelope upon the Serengetti...you are like the unnatractive, pathetic lion attempting to catch them. These nice, normal, attractive girls will often use a simple tactic to camouflage themselves: surrounding themselves with a wall of huge, fat, disgusting, bitchy, irritating flesh. This wall is impervious to any attack; and it is often difficult to evens ee the attractive girl in the midst of the vast slabs of rolling pink flesh. Yet nerdcore comes to the rescue again! Simply shout "Holy shit, free pie at the mall!" and they will lumber away quickly, abandoning the target to your lame attempts.
So, now you know what you're doing...you're ready to go...but now you must know that which you seek, for there are several evil, horrid sub-types of girls that you want NOTHING to do with.
Number One - Eleventeen.
Ah yes, somehow you find a decent looking girl and get her boozed up enough to get her. Then the next morning you awake at 6am with her shaking you, asking for a ride to high school. SURPRISE DUMBASS, she was 15! BEWARE girls like this, they collect the skulls of guys like you and make them into hood ornaments! It is NOT worth a few years being taken to brown town in jail just for one evening of bleary, drunken, 5 minute sex.
Number 2 - Princess
OK, these seem pretty good at first. Usually attractive, nice, and they even giggle at your sixth-grade level jokes. What could go wrong? EVERYTHING. These girls will do your hair and put makeup on you while you sleep. These girls will throw away EVERYTHING you own because it isn't cute, then redecorate your house. These girls will make you watch chick flicks until death via powerdrill is your only escape. If you think this is worth going "HaHa, look at my cute girl" to your friends, may god have mercy on your soul...because she won't.

PLEASE GOD KILL ME WITH BRAIN CANCER NOW!!!

#3 HOLYSHITPLEASEKILLMEFUCKINGPSYCHOCHICK!
Ah yes. She seems either perfectly normal at first, or real artsy and the sort who may know some kinky tricks.
How right you are.
You will wake up one day chained to a wall while amputee midgets shit on your feet and a horse pisses on your chest as she dresses in a "Hulkamania rules" t-shirt and bathes in applesauce. And beware, for once you're in, your trapped...because if you ever try to break it off she'll A) Burn your house down. B) Kill your family. C) Blow up your car. or D) Blow up your car, Kill your Family, and Burn your house down.
Your only option is to try and materialize a jug of drano with your mind and drink it.

So there you have it. Remember, girls want nothing to do with you. Don't bother going out and trying, but if you do; please send me the funny results of your inevitable failure...this way EVERYONE else can laugh at you too. Who says I'm selfish?

They hate you.