Boredom had struck...way beyond late-night CNN boredom, way beyond go watch the Snorks boredom...it was 'middle of the day bored at work' boredom, and it had but one cure.
I had to think up a way to amuse myself, of course...but I had to think of a way to do this on-line and make it into something mildly amusing for Nerdcore. How? Well, that's easy...step one is write up a "review" of the new He Man toys, and strategically misspell some names and mess up some facts...then drop it in the he-man.org forums(that site being THE PLACE for everything He-Man)...Step Two is watch the fun.
The "review" goes as follows:
NERDCORE PRESSES PRESENT:
MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE!!!
We've all waited a long time...the 80's He-Man cartoon was a big part of a lot of kid's lives back then, as were the toys which are still a major collector's item.
Slowly but surely the fire has rekindled and Masters of the Universe is returning in all it's glory.
The toys include the mainstays like He-Man, Skeletor, and Man-At-Arms...but also include favorites like Beastor and Mekanex.
Sure, we've yet to see some of Skeletor's minions like Evil-lyn, Stinkor, and Hordak, and some He-Man allies like Moss Man and Ram Man...but be assured they will come.
Unfortunately the big fancy new Castle Grayskull is a let down...still cheap crappy plastic; but this time with a new system that recognizes figures. Unfortunately this is underused and makes the $50 you'll pay for it a bigger waste then the last day you spent playing Everquest.
The figures are well made(sculpted by McFarlene) and fun though, the same size as Spawn and other big well-sculpted figures...which I'm sure makes for some great battles in the toy kingdom. Sure, HeMan looks like a Backstreet Boy on steroids, but who cares? Whereas in the past toys like Transformers and GI Joe were far superior to the dull lumps of plastic that made up most of the MotU line, now these figures are finally on equal footing. Hopefully the show will be the same half-hour toy commercial it always was, cause if so...MotU will be around for a while!
-Rob
-Nerdcore Presses
RobTheNerd@hotmail.com
***Drop me feedback please! I love to hear it!***
That was that...within 15 minutes the responses and e-mails began to roll in...and I guarantee you'll get a kick out of some of these.
"I read your recent review of the new MOTU line and was wondering if you
really know what you are talking about. It is difficult to take someone's
opinion seriously when they are ignorant as to the details of this new line
and MOTU in general. The figures you listed as "Beastor and Mekanex" do
not exist. I believe you are attempting to identify Beastman and Mekaneck.
Also, these new figures have nothing to do with McFarlane toys. Mattel is
producing them and the Four Horsemen, former McFarlane employees, sculpted
the figures. Please look up the facts before you go posting what you
think. I can't trust your opinion when I am aware of how little you truly
know about this line."
Yes, sadly, he can't trust my opinion of He-Man toys. I also told him that Barney shot Kennedy and he wrote me a three page e-mail asking why I hadn't done my research on it...
"This is the first bad review of the Castle Grayskull that I have seen. It's obvious your not a MOTU fan. You did'nt even get the names right. Stick to your day job. No more reviews."
And as we all know, unless a review of something agrees with our opinion, it is terrible. I will never do another purposefully innacurate review of He-Man toys and put it on your site though, promise.
"I hate to see someone giving their opinion when they are so ignorant as to the details of MOTU and this new line. Man he sure butchered some of those names; "Beastor and Mekanex"???"
OMG!#&*%!#^* I screwed up cartoon character names! HOLY
"As someone wrote on the boards regarding something else...
We should call him a butt-monkey and kick him in the junk "
HAHAHA!!ROFLMAO!#T^*(!$&* He said "butt-Monkey!" HAHAHAHAHA!
At this point I shot an e-mail out to most of these guys that read "Dude, go away and leave me alone...I have a life, and I opt not to waste it on plastic replicas of men in loincloths. Take a shower, meet a girl, and move on, eh? " which further incensed the crowd...
"why would you revue something you don't like numbnuts? Hey here's an
idea...check facts! Hey never thought of that did ya? If I screwed up a
governmental officials name at my job, they'd roast me! No need to get all
hyperactive and cry about it!"
It's spelled "review".(Oh, and double your prozac doses huh?)
" Sculpted by MacFarlen? Beastor and Mekanex? What a knob.
As for his comments on us MOTU fans, I HAVE a girlfriend and she loves it that I am collecting the new line. She isn't particularily interested in it herself, but since it makes me happy, she is totally supportive. Mekanex????? Not only does he claim to have a life, he writes an article on the new MOTU line without even knowing anything about it. So his whole article is a waste of time and space. He might as well write and article about Star Wars and talk about Captain Kurc and Spick."
Huh. If it's all a waste of time and space; just think how much useless time and effort you put into remarking on it. Oh, and it's KIRK AND SPOCK! Reserach your facts! OMG!#&*$!&*$
"...And what did he mean by take a shower? Are we as He-Fans considered unclean? And a lot of us have girlfriends/wives/etc.(or boyfriends/husbands)--my fiancee also loves this stuff! We nee to find this Yahoo and kidnap one of his cats. I'm SURE he has several."
Yeah! Come get my cat! That'll show me what tough guys you are! I think this one is my favorite; and in response to your question: Yes, most people older then 13 who collect toys(including me) are considered unclean by the general public. Deal with it.
"Rob is a tool.
...A tool indeed...a really BIG tool."
Would I be a "butt-monkey wrench?" GET IT?!*(!$*(& ROFL#!*(!#&(!$&($!*(
Anyway...there were many more, but I'll leave it at this...I eventually posted a link in their forum to the "Nerdcore Press Homepage" which led them HERE...and eventually redirected them to Nerdcore...now, Return home