
Greetings and salutations! This is the third edition of 80's cartoon character Reviews and I decided it was time for a non-robot, so instead we shall check out one of He-Man's more ignored allies: Moss-Man!
"heroic spy and master of camouflage!" shouts the packaging, though I'd think this "master of camouflage" might have trouble blending in with ANYTHING NOT GREEN. He spent his time in the forests of Eternia playing parcheesi with Ram-Man, but occasionally would spring into action with his super-abilities: "Twist waist & Power punch action. With mace, "Moss covered" and Pine scented!" Oh yes, he had the standard twist-punch thing, but who cares...he's covered in pine-smelling moss! And the toy did smell like that for upwards of two weeks...then MossMan's OTHER super-power kicked in:MASTER OF ATTRACTING LINT! And indeed he held true to this ability, and in a couple weeks was invariably covered in fuzz and lint of all kinds. He was also one of the more vulnerable heroes of Eternia, for if he so much as touched anything sticky or slimy, he was DOOMED. I swear, if he came in contact with even one iota of He-Man slime, Ghostbusters Slime, Gak, or any of that stuff every 80's kid had cans full of; it immediately ruined his entire body.

MossMan actually was seen and used more on the show then most of He-Man's even more useless allies like Mekanex and Buzz Off. He apparently was slightly more intelligent then most of them too, because when he wasn't actively helping He-Man he was hidden in the woods. I think he didn't really like He-Man, but helped him because he was afraid one of the waves, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, or other disasters He-Man perpetually solved by just punching into a different direction. Yes, as long as the terrible threat wasn't headed Directly at castle GraySkull; it was ignored. If MossMan didn't help HeMan, the big guy might have punched a fire right into the forest. I can just imagine one of the episode prologues where they all stood around learning a lesson and laughing heartily: "Boy, HeMan, I'm sure glad you threw that 500 foot giant radioactive evil monster out of here...but didn't it land over toward that one village?"
"Nonsense, Man-At-Arms! I don't see or hear any problem, so naturally everything must be FINE!" *Laughter all around*
But HeMan was apparently scared to death of Stinkor, so he didn't mind MossMan's superiority complex...this comic proves that Stinkor could at any time have trashed He-Man:

Uh-oh, something smells bad! That's much worse then magic death bolts and volcanoes and evil space aliens! RUN AWAY!!!
A lot of Moss-Man figures also suffered from Dog-Toy disease. This ran rampant in any toy with any fuzzy part...I know my 12-inch GI Joes Duke was nearly fatally stricken because of his fuzzy head. Dogs have a simple but thorough logic. If something is small, it's -probably- food or a toy. If something is fuzzy, it is a toy. MossMan came with a club to use as a weapon that always ended up in the same limbo-esque place as those bat things from Hordak's crew and everyone's shields. I dunno, I'd trade the club, shield, moss covering, AND pine scent for a sword, but that's just me. All in all though, MossMan was a valiant warrior that battled endlessly for good...until he perished courageously when he became trapped permanently when skeletor threw some velcro at him.
It was alright though, because HeMan simply recruited an excellent replacement...


And the second one won't cost you a week's worth of gas on Ebay! That's it for this guy, but there are countless other Masters of the Universe to check out! Tune in soon for yet another article!
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