It all started when he tried to cheat me out of a dollar and thirteen cents. Now that doesn't sound like much but it can have earth shaking repercussions. I was in a hurry, as usual, and I had been working on a very tight budget. I always stopped and got coffee from the local D&D to get my engine started. I was down to my last $5 so I had every single penny figured to get me throught the day. I had cashed my last unemployment check and this was the day I was going to go for an interview for a full time, honest to god, with benefits JOB! To make sure I would get there in time I was going to take the toll road. This would leave me a free ride to go home. I had put on my most 'Sincere' job seeking suit and made sure I didn't look as destitute and desparate as I was. I normally wore sweats all the time so I could save the more decent clothes for this purpose. I drove carefully just to keep wrinkles from forming. (Not on my face, it was too late for that.) I approached the toll plaza. It was the usual mess with 50% of the cars wandering in and out of lanes looking for either the E-Z pass that worked or the exact change lane that accepted pennies or the one and only lane that gave change and a reciept. That was the one I was looking for. I had worked out the toll so that I would have some change for a parking meter if I needed it. AHA! The car in front of me had been having a long and involved discussion with the toll taker. Must've needed directions and it was a good bet the toll taker had no idea how to get where they were headed. I reached in my pocket where I had jammed my change from D&D, I pulled out two dimes and six pennies and some lint and tobacco. WHERE WAS THE DOLLAR BILL??? I gave a sickly smile to the toll taker who looked at me like something stuck to her shoe. I grabbed my purse, although I didn't remember putting anything in it. I dumped it on the seat and came up with a nickel, more lint and a long lost bic lighter. This brought me up to 28 cents and I needed 35 cents. I started feeling around in the seats hoping I could find enough change to make up the 7 cents I needed. I encountered more lint, two squashed cigarettes and an earring I didn't recognize. By now, the toll taker was holding out her hand and wiggling her fingers. Each finger ending in a three inch long nail coated in blue enamel with a pink design. "Let's go there." she intoned, wriggling those fingernails that should have been registered with the police as deadly weapons. "C'mon, C'mon I have a big line in back of you, snap it up!" I had no luck in any of the places I looked. I dropped the change in her venus fly trap of a hand, "I'm short seven cents, I got cheated at the Dunkin Donuts this morning. I should have gotten more change. I didn't notice it until now. Please let me through and I'll bring the rest tomorrow?" The fingers stopped wriggling. She looked at me with an expression of loathing. "WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME? You think I'm giving you a welfare check here? I don't care about where you went before you got here, this is where you gotta give me THIRTY FIVE CENTS!!!" The cars behind me were all honking and a few hands were displaying what is known as the "Jersey Bird". "I am so sorry!" I put on my most beseeching expression, "Please let me through because I have a job interview to go to. I am so broke right now I don't even have seven cents left because that idiot at D&D short changed me. PLEASE?" The claw like hands grasped the phone next to her, She put the reciever to her mouth and said, "You want to send one of the troopers over here? I got some lady trying to hold me up." I heard that and started to sputter, "I am not trying to hold you up! I only wanted you to let me through now and I'll pay you tomorrow. What the hell are you saying I'm trying to hold you up?" My hands clenched into fists that I banged into the steering wheel. "Let me go through, just this one time! I woulda gone through the E-Z pass lane if I knew I didn't have enough. By the time they send you a notice and a bill I would have been working and I could pay the goddamn fine and the son of a bitch 35 stinking cents! If you have a heart in that beefy body you would let me go!" Whoops. I think I just went there. She is on the phone again and telling them that I just threatened her with bodily harm. I looked at the front of the car to see if I could just blast off and worry about it later. That's when I saw three State Troopers with drawn guns pointed at me. I raised my hands in the air like they do on that TV show,'Cops'. I will be out in three months for good behavior. When I do, I am going to STARBUCKS. © Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com) ~INDEX PAGE~