The Old Testament reading for this morning is one that I remember well from my time at college
In particular Hebrew language classes
For it was the story of Isaac and Rebekah from Genesis 24
Part of which was read this morning
In English !
That was one of the first I tackled in the original language
I’m pretty sure I probably couldn’t read that story in Hebrew now
Not all of it at least
But the experience had two tangible results for me
One – I did pass the end of year exam, which required me to translate parts of the Isaac and Rebekah story
And two – in honour of that experience, when Karen and I were so greatly blessed the next year in May to have our last child and first girl at the fifth attempt
We named her Rebekah
And I made sure that I spelled her name the Hebrew way –
REBEKAH
Rather than the more common Anglicised way
REBECCA
Now, having said all of that
And as much as I love the stories and the myths and legends that come to us from Genesis
I don’t necessarily commend the practicalities of them to you
Isaac and Rebekah is all about an arranged marriage
The servant sent to find a wife for Isaac looks for a sign from God that he has found the right woman
And when that sign is forthcoming
He bargains with her family and takes her off on his camel to Isaac
Who has never seen the girl before, nor she him
Although the story does of course have a happy ending because once the two set eyes on each other they fall madly in love
And Isaac takes her off into his tent and
Well.. the writer of Genesis lets you guess the rest

The point of it all is not to instruct those here who might be seeking a life partner in dating techniques 
Or how to arrange a marriage as it were
Lying in the background to the whole story is a theological ideal and principle
That God is involved in our lives
God is involved in our relationships
Our friendships
Our marriages
God delights in the process by which two people come together and find love and happiness in their coming together
Recently, especially while Tim has been away
I have been speaking to a number of young couples wishing to be married at St Peters later in the year
And apart from talking about why they want to be married in a Church
And why they want to be married in the first place
It’s a joy and a privilege to hear a little of their story
And to share a small measure in their happiness
Almost all are convinced that they were meant to be together
They knew – many of them – the first time they met
That they would be together

The way that people get married today is very different
Entirely different
To the way that marriages occurred in the world of Genesis and of Isaac and Rebekah
And indeed throughout biblical times
The Bible everywhere assumes that marriages between people will be arranged
As this one between Isaac and Rebekah is
There was little or no courtship at all
Often the two did not meet until their wedding day
Or if they did, it was in strictly supervised circumstances
Now this is entirely different and radically far removed from the situation today
At least in the Western world
Where no one will tolerate being told who will they marry or spend their lives with 
But the guiding principle is romantic love
And where there is often a very long time between the time a person reaches the age when they begin to think about relationships
And the time they might finally decide to marry
If indeed they do marry at all
How does the Bible, how does our Scripture and our tradition, as Christians, speak to this situation?
Well, it is still true, I think, that God is at the very centre and the heart of the process
Because God is at the very centre and the heart of all our humanness
And God delights in relationships
Perhaps there is not too much distance between the sign that the servant of
Isaac seeks to identify Rebekah
And the way that a young couple coming to be married today agree that they were meant to meet
and they were meant to be together
in both cases the thought is of something greater than themselves
drawing them together

Whilst the story of Isaac and Rebekah is certainly about marriage
The Gospel reading talks in part about another type of relationship
In friendship
The friendships of Jesus
Whereas John the Baptist came in austerity and self control
Neither eating nor drinking
Jesus is accused of being a friend of sinners
And a drunkard and a glutton
Clearly, Jesus enjoys the company of other people
The company of friends
And indeed, in the Last supper discourse he will refer to his disciples on several occasions as Friends and not followers
The relationship between them is more intimate
More special
Than that of a Rabbi or Teacher and his students
It is one characterised by friendship – entailing loyalty and devotion one to another

Friendship,
Is something that greatly enriches all of our lives
A relationship
Whether that between two people who love each other
Or that between friends
Or that between members of a family
Or a faith community
Requires work
A useful metaphor is that of a garden
Those how are gardeners here know what a garden needs
tending and care
weeding
trees trimmed and lopped back
manure or fertiliser put onto it
time and effort

if a garden is not tended to
you know what happens
Karen and I are not very good gardeners and never have been
Gardening is not our passion
When we moved into the Vicarage at Frankston East two and a half years ago
Karen brought two lovely trees in square pots to put outside the porch
Making a nice little entry into the doorway of the house
And they were lovely and green and strong and healthy
And they should have grown and flourished
But they did not
in fact they began to wither and look very sickly indeed
A friend stopped by once and spent some time examining the trees
Knowing that she was a keen gardener I asked her
What should we do about these trees
I would suggest watering she answered
Needless to say, we don’t have those trees anymore
Although we do have the square pots somewhere
So a friendship – a relationship - is like that
It requires time and effort and care
Or you might be left with only the shell

And a final thing to say about relationships
And many of you no doubt are already very aware of this
They are ultimately flawed
They are never perfect
Because all relationships require people
And people are flawed
We are not perfect
We will let each other down, we will disappoint each other
We will forget birthdays, important moments, anniversaries and the like
The key to any relationship is to look for
Not for the flaws and the imperfections that will inevitably be present in the other person
But at the beauty and the good things that will also, inevitably, be present also
That changes one’s perspective, not only on relationships
But on life itself

The American writer John Steinbeck has a wonderful short story
An allegory
called The Pearl
In which a man is given a magnificent pearl that is extremely large and of immense value
And he spends a lot of time
A great amount of time
Staring at and admiring this pearl
Reminds you perhaps of a young couple in love
And as he continues to look at the Pearl and examines it 
He sees a flaw
And so he takes it to a jeweller and points out the flaw and has it removed
And he takes the pearl home again and places it in its case
But as he continues to admire it he sees another flaw
And so he takes it back to the jeweller and again has it cleaned and buffed a little more
And this goes on – several more times
Until finally the pearl has been cleaned and buffed and worked on so many times
To remove the flaws its owner has seen
that there is nothing left of it at all
and the pearl that was one of immense and great value
is now worthless

Clearly, the moral of Steinbeck’s story
Is an important one:
We accept one another just as we are
As God loves and values us
Just as we are

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.