Readings Genesis 1: 26-28, 31 1 Thess 4: 1-8 Introduction. Let’s talk about sex. Everyone’s already talking about it. Take a few minutes out to listen to the office conversation Monday morning, or the snickering at the back of the bus on the way to school. They’re talking about sex of course. Turn on the radio and you hear song after song about love and sex and human relationships, from Mick Jagger singing "lets spend the night together" to George Michael announcing "I want your sex". Open a magazine, even the newspaper, and sex is being used to sell some product, or to catch your eye in the head lines. Watch television; just about any program other than Sesame Street or Banana’s in Pajama’s, and they’re talking about sex; even the adds are full of innuendo - "are you getting enough?" (milk of course) and what about the sexual tension in the Nescafe add? Fire up the Internet and you’re in sexual Disneyland - just about nay and every thing remotely concerned with human sexuality has page after page after page devoted to it on the net - the Internet is awash with sex.  As I said, everyone’s talking about sex, or reading about it, or singing about it, or watching it (maybe everyone’s doing it - or wish they were) We live in a society that, since the revolution in values of the 1960’s, is obsessed with sex. A society that glorifies the pursuit of "good sex" or "better sex" and offers countless guides and video’s on how to achieve it. A society that offers sex as the answer to everything - Harpar’s Bazaar (a major US magazine with a broad readership) recently ran an article asking "Is sex the answer to arthritis?" Images and speech about sex confront us continually. In the past, the church has collectively, and unfortunately, often remained entirely silent about sex (almost embarrassed by the issues being raised), or reacted negatively, given mixed signals and conflicting advice, or worse, denounced just about everything other than the procreation of children as an abomination unto God. The end result has been confusion and uncertainty about sex, leading to a crisis of indecision among young people and single people, sometimes even among married people, who are doing their best to follow Christ and to live the sort of life talked about in our second bible reading tonight. "What’s wrong with the popular ethic that says If it feels good do it? as long as you’re not hurting anyone and you both consent?" they ask, and "Why should I deny myself? Every one else is doing it?" I want to suggest that a way forward in answering these questions, might lie in responding to two very common, and very damaging, misconceptions; 1. that the bible has nothing to say about sex 2. that sex is purely or only physical The bible and sex. So what does the bible have to say about sex? Many people think nothing, or have an idea that God and the bible, and the Christian church, have put sex on a list of banned activities that might lead to having too much fun No sex please, we’re Christians (British) In actual fact, the bible has a lot to say about sex Almost every book of the 66 books mentions it in some capacity, because sexuality is part of who we are as human beings. Some contain surprisingly explicit references to sex; Let me read to you form Song of Songs (Solomon) In this passage Solomon is addressing his lover; "How fair and pleasant you are O loved one, delectable maiden You are stately as a palm tree and your breasts are like its clusters I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its branches" In another passage Solomon likens his lover to a choice garden of the most delicious fruits, and she responds to his romantic, poetic outbursts by crying; "Let my beloved come to his garden and eat is choicest fruits" How could a girl resist? The most important statement on sex in the bible is the one we read just a little bit earlier in Genesis one Read Genesis 1:26-28,31 (1) God created human beings as male and female physical difference and the ability to come together in a physical  relationship part of creation - a reality, a fact of creation (2) Divine command - replenish the earth, be fruitful and multiply ("go forth and multiply") must entail sex (3) And God blessed them Sexuality an undeniable part of what it means to be human of who we are male-female relationship an important part of what it means to be  in the image of God (4) "And God saw everything he had made and indeed it was very good" this must include sexual aspect of what it means to be human God calls it very good Sex is more than physical. The reading form Genesis and its explanation leads us to the next major mistake people often make about sex - that sex is only physical, and I want to suggest to you that this is one of the oldest and most common lies known to humankind Sex is more than physical. Sex is more than physical because sexuality cannot be disembodied, that is torn apart, from the rest of who are we as humans. "it is not good" for Adam to be alone, in Genesis, but when Adam and Eve get together, it is "very good" the bible recognizes that something very fundamental and essential to who we are as people created in the image of God that pushes us together, as men and women, and seeks relationships. Many people say that there is nothing wrong with sex so long as no one is hurt and both of the participants are consenting adults so just about any relationship can result in sex, if you want it to - sex becomes something you have - the same way you might have a peanut butter sandwich at lunch time But I’ve said that sex is more than physical, and it is more than sharing a bed it is sharing a life - it means to involve yourself with not only someone else’s body, but their emotions, their spirituality, their hopes and desires, their past and their future, their self worth and esteem as a person it is to join yourself with the life another person A recent survey of university students in USA showed that of all of those currently involved in sexual relationships, 80% of the girls hoped to marry their partners, but only 12% of the boys said they hoped to marry their current partners so is any one being hurt? The problem with the philosophy that says "if feels good do it" is that humans are basically selfish and this is demonstrated dramatically in the The Genesis story doesn’t end in the garden with Adam and Even living happily every after and doing their best to replenish the earth. Something happens that separates them form God and we all share in that separation. there’s something within us that wants to put ourselves first all the time and so some writers speak about the "cult of me" and so we press - my right to happiness    my right to sexual fulfillment Sex and relationships involve other there are few things more devastating than the breaking up of a relationship that has involved sex and a great number of books and popular songs and painting reflect this "I thought you were the one" "I thought he / she really loved me" Alanis Morrisette sings about the sense of betrayal that she  experienced after "a love gone bad" had turned to her world to  black "every time you speak her name does she know how you told me you’d hold me until you died, but you’re still alive" and calls herself "the joke that you laid in the bed that was me" Principles We’ve seen that Christian’s ought to affirm two things about sex; 1, that it’s part of being human 2, that God calls it good but in light of our natural tendency to self-interest we see the need to restrict sex, practice self-control, to a particular type of relationship this is not to kill our enjoyment of our bodies, or of life but for our own good and for the good of others to maximize our enjoyment of our bodies and of life the remedy for bad practice is not to ban it altogether but to start practicing properly God doesn’t ban sex but he does give us some instructions and he tells us that there is a right and a wrong way to do it The right way is to keep our sexuality for a particular type of relationship The type of relationship that includes three things; (1) characterized by love - true love is orientated toward the other, it is never self seeking - love that cannot look past self will surely die - true love never takes advantage of another; it never "storms the gate" or presses it claims - love is patient - a greater part of love is respect - love that treats the other person as an object is not love but lust, because lust, whether it be for food, money, alcohol, or sex, always requires an object - true love takes responsibility for the consequences, or results, of its actions; for instance, if sex is involved, a child may be the result (2) Exclusive that is, the two partners are faithful to one another for life - in a perfect world, everyone would marry as virgins and be faithful to one another for life this is God’s ideal for humanity if this were upheld universally, no STD’s etc. the reality is we all fall short all of us have fallen short and many of us have fallen short of the mark sexually it’s important to know there is no condemnation in Jesus - the woman caught in adultery - but Jesus does say go and sin more do your best to live up to the ideal (3) Commitment means a, taking responsibility for the result of the union ie. if a child were to result b, the kind of love that lasts that’s not just in it for short term pleasure or satisfaction but says I will be with you until I die - and means it This is why the Christian church has always decided that there is a right and a wrong context for relationships that are sexual in nature so the constant teaching of the church is that sex is to be kept exclusively for a relationship that is 1, exclusive - between the two only 2, committed - for life and to take responsibility for the result (if   any) of the union The challenge tonight is to make God’s ideal your own (1) treat those people of the opposite sex as a person, as other, not an object (2) make a commitment to keep sex for the context it was intended for, a committed, exclusive relationship (marriage)

a sermon on sex