When you feel yourself struggling with something, then the time has come to grow beyond it. Effort and persistence can bring much value to any endeavor. Yet trying too hard, to the point where the effort becomes a constant struggle, brings nothing positive.
Struggle means it is time to grow, to go far beyond your previous limitations, to set new and expanded expectations for yourself. When you feel that something has become a struggle, see it as an opportunity. See it as a pointer showing you the direction in which to grow, and use it as a powerful motivation to do so.
Fighting the same fight over and over will just make you skilled at fighting. At some point it becomes time to develop some new skills, and to take your efforts to a whole new level.
What is it that you're struggling with? Instead of looking for ways to maintain your end of the struggle, consider how you could get to the point where you are beyond the need to struggle. Look for how you can stop struggling and start growing.
- Ralph Marston
The people whom you find most difficult to deal with can also be your most valuable teachers. For your problems with them are not really due to how they are, but rather to how you respond to how they are.
Learn to deal successfully with difficult people, and you learn valuable lessons about yourself. Work to relate positively to difficult people and you develop skills that can serve you well in many other challenging situations.
People are the way they are. Get past the need to try to change them, past the need to judge or condemn, and look for the value they offer. Sometimes that value is deeply hidden, and when you find it you've found a real treasure, something few people take the time to uncover. In every difficult person you encounter, make a point to look past the difficult part and focus your attention on the person part.
The other people with whom you interact are mirrors that help you to see things within yourself. With some people, that mirror can be difficult to view, yet when you have the courage to do so, the rewards can be many and great.
- Ralph Marston
Life can sometimes be terribly painful and extremely unfair. When it is, the strongest, most positive and effective response comes from not taking it personally.
Whatever difficulties may come, when you refuse to take them personally you move powerfully beyond the limitations of your own ego. You immediately place yourself at least one level above whatever has happened, and from that vantage point your options are vastly increased.
If someone screams in your face and your reaction is to simply scream back, what have you accomplished? Yet if, instead, you can step back, take your own ego out of the picture, and look objectively at the situation, you can craft and execute a much more effective response.
How do you avoid taking things personally? By keeping in mind that although they may affect you greatly, they do not reflect who you are. Although they have happened to you, they are not an integral part of you. You always have the choice to not take them personally.
That does not mean you do not care. On the contrary, it means that you care enough to put forth your most powerful, effective response.
- Ralph Marston
The more you avoid doing what needs to be done, the more burdensome you make each moment. Those things you've put off until later can build up and drag you down with regret, worry and negativity.
Putting something off until later is certainly no way to free yourself from it. Instead, such procrastination and avoidance actually extends and expands whatever it is you desire to avoid.
One of the most liberating things you can do is to free yourself from the gnawing burden of a task you've been avoiding. And the way to achieve such freedom is simply by going ahead and doing what needs to be done.
Rather than continuing to worry about it, rather than putting your energy into making excuses and rationalizations, just go ahead and do whatever you've been putting off. The sooner you get it done, the better off you'll be.
Just think how great you're going to feel when it's done. Imagine how great it will be to free your energy, your mind and your spirit from the burden of procrastination that has been hounding you.
Don't worry for another minute about something you've been putting off. Go ahead, make the effort, and enjoy the immense freedom and satisfaction of already having it done.
- Ralph Marston
People often wonder why some people have such great friends and manage to keep them...If you manage to apply the following in your life, the same could work for you:
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said,"Do you know what I just heard about your friend?" "Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter test." "Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, actually I just heard about it and...""All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?" "No, on the contrary..." "So,"
Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?" "No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?" This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
If we are able to protect our friends and those we love in this manner, we cannot be influenced by outsiders in having bad notions about them.
-Author Unknown
Consider all the things you do on a daily basis. Among those actions, there are numerous self-defeating ones, things you do over and over again just out of habit. Perhaps you eat a bowl of fattening ice cream when you get bored or stressed. Maybe you make cruel remarks to others just to get attention. Little self-defeating habits such as these may not seem like much, yet it is precisely their apparent insignificance which makes them so destructive. Because before long, without your even thinking about them, they add up.
So give yourself a priceless gift today. Identify one of those little self-defeating actions, and find a self-empowering action with which to permanently replace it. Replace the bowl of ice cream with a brisk walk around the block. Or replace the cruel comment with a sincere compliment.
Get your habits working for you rather than against you. Look closely at the negative, self-defeating ones. Why have you tolerated them this long? Because they fill a void and because you rarely think about them. So stop and think about them and the negativity they impose upon your life. Then kick them out and fill that void with more positive, empowering habits. You'll find it's one of the very best gifts you can ever give yourself.
- Ralph Marston
The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. "Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .... just wait." "That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. ! ! Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it ... "It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed
recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away ... just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account ... you withdraw from what you've put in .. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part ! ! in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
- Anonymous
It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
- Anonymous
It's easy to be positive when you're reading or listening to something positive, or when you're in pleasant, peaceful surroundings. But how do you stay positively focused when there is confusion and despair all around you?
First, realize that staying focused on the positive possibilities is almost always the best, most effective way to respond to even the most negative situation. It doesn't mean ignoring or denying the very real difficulties which are present, but rather focusing on the most positive, productive responses to them.
Next, line up your intentions with your understanding that a positive perspective is realistically the most effective perspective no matter what the circumstance. Then take your intention and your commitment to being positive one step further and act on it.
Once you experience the very real power and grace of staying positively focused in a negative and challenging situation, it makes an impression on you. Keep that experience in mind, and the next time your positive focus comes more easily and naturally.
Soon, what was once an act of faith can become a matter of habit. The more you remind yourself to stay positive, the less you will need to be reminded.
The world is filled with difficult challenges. When you see for yourself the value of a positive response, you'll acquire a powerful tool for meeting those challenges.
- Ralph Marston
As the story goes, two friends were walking through the desert. In a specific point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.
The one, who got slapped, was hurt, but without anything to say, he wrote in the sand: "TODAY, MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE".
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who got slapped and hurt started drowning, and the other friend saved him. When he recovered from the fright, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE".
The friend who saved and slapped his best friend, asked him, "Why, after I hurt you, did you write in the sand, and now you write on a stone?"
The other friend, smiling, replied: "When a friend hurts us, we should write it down in the sand, where the winds of forgiveness erase it away, and when something great happens, we should engrave it in the stone of the memory of the heart, where no wind can erase it"
Let us all learn to write in the sand.
- Author Unknown
I've learned-
that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned-
that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned-
that you can keep going long after you can't.
I've learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned-
that either you control your attitude; or it controls you.
I've learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score
I've learned-
that with my best friend, I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get backup.
I've learned-
that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned-
that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have
I've learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned-
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other; and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned-
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally...different.
I've learned-
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. Send this to all the people YOU BELIEVE IN...I just did.
- Author Unknown
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up. He said, I am going to give this to one of you, but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple the bill up.
He then asked, who still wants it?
Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, what if I do this?
He dropped it on the ground, and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
Now, who still wants it?
Still hands went into the air.
My friends, you all have learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it, because, it did not decrease in value. It was still worth 20 dollars.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that comes our way. We feel that we are worthless.
But, no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do, or who we know, but by who we are.
You are special. Don't ever forget it!!
Always count your blessings, not your problems.
- Author Unknown
Does the fear of rejection hold you back? Are you so concerned about what others might think or say or feel about you that it keeps you from taking positive action?
Rejection hurts only when you allow it to hurt, and there's no reason whatsoever for you to allow it to hurt. If someone says no to you, or if someone says something negative about you, that does not change anything about who you are.
The words, actions and opinions of others have no real bearing on your worth as a person. Certainly it is helpful and desirable to make a good impression whenever you can, yet it's not the end of the world when you experience rejection.
When you set out to make a true and substantial positive difference, there will be those who disagree with you, those who ignore you, and those who flat out reject what you're doing. Look beyond them and keep your focus on what you've decided to accomplish.
It's great to have positive feedback, but it simply does not always happen. That's okay, though, because you know where you're headed and you know that your true worth does not depend on the judgment of others. Go confidently forward, do what you know must be done, and let others think what they will.
- Ralph Marston
1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in someway.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably , sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
The tide recedes but leaves behind bright seashells on the sand, The sun goes down, but gentle warmth still lingers on the land, The music stops, and yet it echoes on in sweet refrains... For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.
- Anonymous
Dear Bertha,
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time working. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries.
I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what others would've done had they known they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted.
I think they would have called family members and a few close friends.
They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever their favorite food was. I'm guessing; I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.
"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there." I don't believe in Miracles. I rely on them. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
- Anonymous
What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
when you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes nurse; you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten ...with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at twenty-my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.
At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman ...and nature is cruel;
'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years ....all too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see.
Not a crabby old woman; look closer ....see ME!!
....Remember this poem when you next meet an old person who you might brush
aside without looking at the young soul within ......
We will one day be there, too, maybe!
- Author Unknown
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
- Author Unknown
