FRIENDS SUCKED!! why am i the only guy who didn't watch the final episode of friends? simple, because i appreciate my masculinity, and heterosexuality, and have no interest in losing either. seriously, what the hell? this show was not worth the hype at all...how can i say that, despite never seeing an episode? easy...before i made this post, i checked a plot timeline of the show....in 10 years, they recycled the same god damn plot over and over again, and yet you people still watch that shit? over a decade, nobody has broken up and gotten back together more than ugly douche and annoying bitch (ross and rachel). in fact, that was probably the premise behind each and every episode, and yet somehow you were all suckered into watching it. but it isn't because of the repetitiveness, or the idioticness, or the fact that there wasn't a single redeemable quality in any of the characters/actors. no, i hated the show because so many of you grew so attached to it, to quote one such moron on the condition of anonymity... "you grow so attached to them, that to see them go is like losing your own friends." -roozbeh allen yavari .........................................do any of you realize how sad it is that you suffer such detachment when a TV SHOW IS FUCKING CANCELLED?!?!? so 6 people are unemployed now, and your precious show is off the air...so what? suddenly the sky's no longer blue? sugar no longer tastes good? girls have penii? life as we know it is suddenly over? i tell you what....i would have watched the finale of friends, if and ONLY if the following happened... rachel admits to being a slut, gives birth to the child of the rally monkey (ross' monkey) and ross eats it (rachel), and shoots the monkey, only to spontaneously combust (cuz we all know that's what happens when you eat jennifer anniston)...terrible? maybe...but well deserving phoebe gets crushed by a boulder 10 times the size of the earth (because a boulder any larger would be  excessive)...to illustrate this plan, i have for you a picture

chandler (played by the drug addict matthew perry), sells monica off to slavery for a gram of coke...what he doesn't know is that the coke is actually rat poison...he proceeds to have the high of a lifetime before most assuredly a painful, painful death. finally, joey gets run over by a train driven by the TRUE king of the sitcom...al bundy from married with children

yes...that's a train (gimme a break, it's 1 am, and i'm hallucinating)

people cried because they realized the people on friends were their only friends