Thoughts about...Domestic Training.

          It is undoubtedly well for every mother to train her daughter in the arts of housewifery, beginning when the child is young and giving her some share in household tasks from the time the little one begins to pick up her own playthings and put away her own clothing after she comes in from play, until she is a grown woman. We are foolishly heedless often as regards this important part of a girl's education. While we spare no pains to give our daughters the most thorough school training, to open up to them avenues of pleasure and profit in various accomplishments, such as music, painting, and what used to be styled the ornamental branches, we take it for granted that a knowledge of housekeeping will come by itself without special effort on the part of any one. It is true that there are girls to whom cooking and managing appear less difficult than to others. Occasionally, one meets a young woman who seems to be a born cook or housekeeper; but this is the exception rather than the rule. I do not think there is anything so intricate or so subtle about the processes of the culinary art that they cannot be readily mastered by any intelligent girl in a comparatively brief time. I also hold that a thorough intellectual training assists one in manual arts of every sort. Mr. Beecher once observed that an educated man would light a fire better than an ignorant man; so that I am not advising any mother to abbreviate her daughter's school education. What I am pleading for is this: Let the daughter early have her share in managing, making, mending, and do whatever is to be done in the house. If necessary, let her now and then intermit a half-year or a year in her school course; staying at home, dropping books and helping mother; learning practically how to make bread; how to roast, bake, broil and boil; how to make puddings and pies and cake; something about the chemistry of food; nourishing diet for the sick; dainty desserts,--everything, in short, that a woman needs to know in order to properly nourish her family. I have seen a brilliant valedictorian of a college perfectly helpless and lost in the presence of a sudden illness, when there was the necessity to make so simple a thing as a dish of gruel for a patient who could eat no other food. This ought not to be. A woman should be capable and efficient and fitted for any emergency, and it is her mother's business to see that she is thus fitted for life, whether she marries or remains single.
          A young girl should know how to direct her maids intelligently, whether she personally works in the departments which they undertake or not. She should know, for instance, how to regulate an ordinary family washing; should understand that table linen is to be taken by itself; that fine clothes are to be separated from coarse ones; that flannels require very delicate and painstaking treatment if they are not to shrink up and become thickened and useless. The several parts of housekeeping cannot be learned in one day, although, as I have said before, any woman who gives her mind to them can acquire them without a very long novitiate. Little by little, day by day, the daughter growing up in the refined and well-ordered home and taking some share of its care, will become at an early age a good housekeeper.
          There is an art in buying household goods to advantage, in marketing, in catering, and in keeping accounts. The latter is so important an affair that all women who wish to have happy homes should serve an apprenticeship to themselves or their parents in this one department. Let the girl begin when quite young with her own stated allowance. It may be very small at the outset, and she should know just what expenses it will cover. She should not be allowed to overrun it. If she foolishly spends the whole of it in one day or in one week, she should be obliged to feel the inconvenience of no cash the rest of the month. As she grows older her allowance may be increased and may be apportioned so that it will gradually enable her to buy her own clothing and to take entire charge of her own expenses.
          The wife of a New York millionaire, presiding over a magnificent home with a very large establishment--coachman, footman, cook, laundress, waitress, chambermaid, seamstress, lady’s maid, nursery governess, boy-in-buttons, etc., told me not long since that she had rigidly held her daughters to an economical management of money. She began when they were little tots, giving them a certain weekly amount for their spending, increasing this by degrees. At twelve her daughters were taught to make their own frocks and trim their own hats, and were given a certain amount to spend on their carfare, charity, books, and such items of dress as ribbons, gloves, shoes and belts. As they grew older the allowance became larger; but each girl in that family was more carefully trained as to her responsibility in the matter of money than are most girls in poor families. In fact, one usually finds that thrift and forehandedness are more conspicuous in the families of the well-to-do than they are in families where people are living from hand to mouth. Of course it makes a difference on this subject of spending of money whether one’s home is in an obscure country dist6rict or in a large town. In town the temptation to spend money meets you on every side and is well nigh irresistible. In the country, remote from the shops, there is less need of money, and people, fortunately for themselves, can get along with very much less in the way of dress and of other articles which a city woman considers indispensable. Whether or not we have much or little, we are accountable to God for our use of it, and even more than a city woman does the woman whose home is in the country need to understand all the intricacies of household management.
          Away back in the days when David was fleeing from the face of Saul, there is an interesting story of good housekeeping which has always appealed very strongly to me. You remember that David was at that time an outlaw dwelling among the strongholds of En-gedi, hiding among the rocks of the wilderness in order that he might escape the jealous pursuit of the monarch who had once been his friend, but was now his enemy. David in those days had a following of several hundred young men, outlaws like himself, and they lived as Robin Hood in a later period, and as guerrilla warriors have done every since, on the country in which they were in ambush. “Now there was a man in Maon whose possessions were in Carmel; and the man was very great. He had three thousand sheep and three thousand goats.” The wealth of that day in a pastoral country was always in the number of a man’s flocks and herds. This man Nabal was a miser and a churl; but he had a wife Abigail, of whom we are told that she was a woman of good understanding and of a beautiful countenance. The story, as told in the Bible, is very graphic. David heard in the wilderness that Nabal did shear his sheep. And David sent out ten young men saying, “Get you up to Carmel, and go to Nabal and greet him in my name: And thus shall ye say to him that liveth in prosperity, Peace be both to thee, and peace be to thine house, and peace be unto all that thou hast. And now I have heard that thou hast shearers: now thy shepherds which were with us, we hurt them not, neither was there aught missing unto them, all the while they were in Carmel. Ask thy young men and they wills hew thee. Where fore let the young men find favor in thine eyes; for we come in a good day: give, I pray thee, whatsoever cometh to thine hand unto thy servants and to thy son David.” To this courteous request Nabal answered churlishly and rudely, “Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? there be many servants nowadays that break away every man from his master. Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?” David’s little army at this time was composed of no less than six hundred hardy men, and at once four hundred of these girded on their swords and started with David to attack Nabal and make an end of him and his house. In the meantime, however, the lady of the manor, hearing of her husband’s churlishness and gruffness, and being told that David and his men had been as a wall of protection and defence around the shearers for months past, determined to take the matter into her own hands. Indeed, her servants said to her very plainly, “Now, therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against our master, and against our master, and against all his household: for he is such a son of Belial that a man cannot speak to him.” The story goes on to tell that this good housekeeper, Abigail, made herself and took a generous provision with her as she went forth to meet David--two hundred loaves, two bottles of wine--not our modern bottles, but great leathern bags fille with wine--five sheep ready dressed, five measures of parched corn, a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses and thus went to meet the coming foe. We can see the lady riding on her own beast with her escort of retainers going before and surrounding her as she came down by the covert of the hill, and, behold, David and his men came down against her and she meets them in the way. Significantly it is said, “She told not her husband Nabal,” but she intercedes for him and finds favor in the eyes of the youthful chieftain and saves her husband from destruction. Here in Abigail was exemplified all the qualities of the good housekeeper and the great lady, and one cannot do better than to turn back and read from beginning to end the twenty-fifth chapter of first Samuel, and there study her character.
          Also in the last chapter of the Book of Proverbs we find set down by the pen of inspiration for all ages and centuries the description of a lady. “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her houshold, and eateth not of the bread of idleness.”
          In this old chronicle one discovers a prophetic eye turned to the business woman of our own day. The manysidedness of the people is in no way more apparent than in the flashlight it turns from time to time on the possibilities and capabilities of womanhood in every age. This ideal woman and splendid lady is a person versed in all domestic accomplishments and quite able to hold her own in any company, whether composed of men or of women.
          While urging upon all women the most thorough and diligent study of the indoor arts, let me say that there is peril that the domestic woman shall be satisfied with her attainments and seek nothing further. This is a common mistake. One should be well aware that it is not enough to take prizes at county fairs, or to keep a house up to the strictest and highest standard of excellence in its management. Also the good housekeeper must avail herself of the tonic of fresh air; must be able to hold her own with others in society, and must seek for her daughters the beauty and bloom of perfect health as well as the charm of a well-trained mind and deft hands which shrink from no toil. One needs in these days all-around women to make home life ideal.
          I cannot close this bit of talk without urging upon parents the propriety of allowing and, indeed, insisting upon their sons being useful and obliging in the home as well as the daughters. There is no reason upon earth why a lad should not use his strength in helping out in household tasks. I have been very much impressed with the manly way in which some of our New England boys take hold and help their mothers and sisters in whatever work is to be done. It is not at all uncommon in Vermont and New Hampshire for the son of the house to take hold pleasantly and assist with the cooking or ironing or dishwashing or whatever the work is for the moment pressing, doing it quite as a matter of course--the same lad working his way or helping to pay his way through college, coming out after a while an honored man and very likely climbing so high in future life that he sits in the governor’s chair or goes to Congress.
          It is not a surprising thing at all that man turning his attention to housework should do it well. There is no housekeeping anywhere that surpasses in thoroughness that of sailors on board a man-of-war. The whiteness of the vessel’s decks, the brightness of its brasses and the accuracy about it shames our more careless home housekeeping. Whenever men really master a thing they usually master it perfectly, and if your little son objects to assist you in making beds, or washing dishes, you have only to say to himn that soldiers and sailors do that sort of thing as a matter of course. We do not need to be told that men excel in everything which they seriously turn to do. Our choice of tailor-made gowns is merely one straw which shows how we appreciate the excellence of a man’s fitting and sewing. A friend of mine has a man milliner who comes around at certain times in the year and trims all the bonnets of the household, doing it beautifully, and in India, the missionaries tell me that all their sewing is wonderfully well done by the men, who think nothing of making most beautiful gowns for the English and American ladies; taking them apart, altering them and doing whatever is necessary, with a skill and exactness unknown to our own dressmakers.
          Surely in this age of the world we do not need to be told that men and women must stand abreast. That if a man would be wholly fine and noble he must have in him something of the woman heart, and that the woman, to be complete, must share some masculine virtues. Not in vain did our Father in heaven set children together in families--brothers and sisters side by side, that they might all together learn the lesson of mutual daily self-sacrifice, their motto always being, “In honor preferring one another.” It shows us beforehand what heavenly life will be. Alas, that it is so often low and pitiful; that we let creep into it the little trivialities, and discord and jealousness, cowardice, meanness and sins of ill-temper and other qualities which are sordid and contemptible. More and more we need to feel that if we would live after the Christian pattern and rise to the full standard of Christian womanhood and manhood, we must put self and sin aside and become more and more like our blessed Lord.
          We cannot do better than to go back in our home life, in our social life, and everywhere, to the thought of the Sermon on the Mount. Our dear Lord said: “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” He told us, too, to lay not up for ourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt and where thieves break through and steal; but to rather lay up treasures in heaven, because where the treasure is there will the heart be also.
          To those of us who are tempted to worry over the trivialities and troubles of the day, He said: “Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall He not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”