1. Don't hire a nanny before doing an extensive background search.
2. Keep your local exorcist on speed dial.
3. Don't date altar boys, they have enough problems.
4. Don't buy cars without calling your local exorcist first.
5. Same with a cello.
6. If you do buy a haunted car, don't let it out of your sight, even if it claims you should change your pants.
7. Don't visit marshes during the full moon.
8. If your parents turn into werewolves, take full advantage by throwing a rough house party once a month.
9. Don't let your old dummy live with you.
10. Don't leave copies of "Computers for Dummies" lying around.
11. Always call a repairman instead of fixing anything yourself.
12. Make the best of any freak accidents that happen to you by joining the circus.