Ok, so I came home sick from work today, a real pisser, let me tell you. You see I work at a grocery store, and it’s a “small one” (meaning – as far as I know it’s only found in Pennsylvania), and on Sunday’s I get paid $1/hr extra. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but then think about it, the only bill I pay is my cell phone bill, so therefore, $1/hr extra on Sunday’s (and Holiday’s) is like getting a million dollar bonus. It’s summer time, no one I know gets sick in summer (meaning this exclude that time of the month). So, how did I? Two words: Burger King. Yes, Burger King. I had one of their new burgers yesterday, and let me tell you, as soon as I was going back to the store, my stomach is tying itself into knots – not good. I started to cough, and almost coughed up my meal as I was heading to an apparel shop. (I get an hour break when I work an eight - hour day.) I get home after all is said and done, and get online to talk to my boyfriend. I ate maybe like six of those Mylanta tabs – only to find out that they don’t work for shit.
So, as you can see, by now, I’m not too happy. (The only thing that kept me happy was the love from my boyfriend.) And if you lived in my house, you’d understand that we don’t believe in buying Pepto Bismal, because it’s friggen expensive, and we don’t buy the cheap shit either – not good for me. So back to today – I get to work, and I feel like shit. Not good. After about two hours there, my stomach says, “Screw you, bitch,” and I turned off my light, took my sprite and bolted to the bathroom. After about forever, I come out and go to my register, felling slightly better now that my stomach contents were in a septic system (and possibly some of my major and minor organs). My buddy tells my manager (happened while I was gone, because if she would have said it when I was there, she wouldn’t have lips to speak – yea, I like my job – quite a bit.), and to make a long story short, I get sent home, with get-well wishes from everyone.
I get home and get upstairs and get into a nightie and sleep. I get up two hours later, and talk to my boyfriend – who else? Hours on the phone pass by like nano seconds (not even) with him, and now I’m here. My stomach evilly laughs now that it has decided that it’s hungry. So now, I’m sick, what do sick people eat? Two words: dry toast. I can’t stand toast, let alone dry toast. Now, pumpernickel isn’t so bad, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I just friggen hate toast. So I go looking for the pumpernickel, stick it in the toaster and toast it for maybe a minute. You see, I dislike the general crunchiness of toast, let alone the flavor. So therefore, my toast is semi crunchy and slightly cold in the middle. (We keep the pumpernickel in the fridge.) So I’m sitting at the puter drinking sprite and eating dry toast. Dry toast, I realize, makes you very thirsty. I hate being thirsty. And I just realized that on my puter, when you hold down the shift key for 8 seconds, it activates the filter keys, whatever the hell that is! So now, I’m going to get off of here and just yea . . . rant again tomorrow. See ya.
~The Poets Hart~