| An Anti-Britney Song by Scott Oh plastic surgeon, how was I supposed to know my boobies wouldn't grow. oh plastic surgeon how I wanted them to be just like Pamela Lee show me how you want them to be should I go for A,B,C,or maybe even double D. my big ole boobies I look at me, (look at me) like silicon, the are silly, (silly) the next time you see me I'll blow your mind I've gone up 2 sizes, my boobies are the plastic kind ~my big ole boobies~ ~my big ole boobies~ oh plastic surgeon, how was i supposede to know? oh plastic surgeon, just please let my boobies grow. I must confess, that my lonliness, comes from my small chest. just give me some time, and I'll blow your mind my boobies are the plastic kind! |
| Britney's List ~ 234 framed pix of Justin Timberlake. ~ Excessive lingerie. ~ 'unmentionables' <~ censored ~ Book: How to prevent your implants from popping. ~ Pamphlet: STD's and living with them. ~ Video: How to pretend you're dancing on stage. ~ Video: How to pretend you sing good. ~ Fake leg cast. ~ Home tanning kit. ~ Airbrushing kit. ~ Excessive twinkies. ~ Dexatrim diet pills. ~ 2,000 ugly outfits. ~ Book: Popularity for dummies {and blondes}. ~ Book: How to lip sing. ~ Letter to Justin telling him 'how she feels about him'. ~ 2 letters back rejecting her. ~ Note to self: Find how to spell 'I luv insinck.' ~ Justy's number. ~ Reminder of do's and dont's from her agent. ~ Letter from mom okaying her next shoot for Rolling Stone mag. |
| Our Interview With Ms. Brit Us: Hey Britney, thanx for joining us, so glad I could do this interview (*cough, cough*) Her: My agent said it would give me good Felicity. Us: Don't you mean publicity? Her: Sure, that too. Us:: Um, okie dokie...1st question, what's your comment on the implant rumors? Her: Whooo -- fun breeeezzzee! Whatever, okay?! I've had big boobies since MMC! Whoever started that rumor was jealous! Us:: Was that an attempt to avoid the question? Her: Um, um...(her agent steps in to whisper in her ear, then with a blank look, she comes back to the interview) No. Us: Let's talk a bit about your childhood...what was your first job? Her: My first job was great! Totally fun! I got to proofread all the M&M's in the factory. They let me eat the ones with W's. Us:: That would explain your current weight problem...but anyways, with your second job, you weren't allowed coffee breaks, do you know why that is? Her: Well, my boss said it would take too long to re-train me. Us: Okay...eh, well your current job ain't so bad. I mean, you're doing so well in the music business now (*cough, choke*), but what is your life dream? Her: Ohhh I TOTALLY know this one! I wanna be just like Vanna White and learn the alphabet. Us:: Were you traumatized as a child? That leads me to my next question, um, growing up, what was your worst experience while in school? Her: All 5 years of 5th grade with Mrs. Wink. It was awful! Us:: Britney, you were recently caught walking into the welfare office in downtown Orlando...why is this? Her: Why was I there? Um, oh, uh, I wanted to know how to cook the food stamps...yeah, that's it. Us:: Well, now..uh, on a more serious note...how do you feel about the barbies and dolls modeled after you? Her: It's about time they made a barbie with class and @$$! Now everyone can play with me! Not that I wasn't molded plastic before.. (Agent hides his face and Britney loses her smile and starts twitching nervously, without anything else to say...) Aw, you're so sweet. Us:: Huh? Us: On a lighter note..are you currently in a relationship with anyone? Her: You know it! I'm dating Prince William cuz I'm a geezer reject! All those older guys see me as some little kid! I'm not jailbait, foreal! I've told Justy at least 100 times that I'm legal, but does he care? Nooo! He'll see one day, we were meant for each other, right after I kill Kelly! Hey, do you have a hatchet with you by any chance? Us:: Sure Brit *snickers come from our audience*(5 minute pause of silence) Her: Are you mocking me? I can't take this anymore...all the thinking, and...and, the thinking...I gotta go! (she runs off crying) |