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| the BRICKLAYERS story Quite simply the greatest shit band in the history of Gift bands |
| The story of The Bricklayers, ultimately The Purge, begins way, way back in the late summer of 1999 in the heart of rural Sussex, in a quaint English village called Etchingham. It was the summer 1999 junior Gift course, otherwise known as "a bunch of bofs on holiday", at The Croft. Christian Dollimore, a sweet, niave little boy, had been a Gifter since the summer of 1998 - he found the five-day "education enrichment" courses at the Croft every summer and easter then on impossible to miss. But it was at his second Gift course he met some lunatic called Alex McCue. Alex McCue, 14, and Christian Dollimore, 13, wrote a now legendary song 'The Ballad Of The Croft' at the summer 99 Gift course. A hilarious lyrical re-working of the Beatles 1969 no.1 'The Ballad Of John And Yoko', the song was performed in the Gift course talent show, which took place on the night of Thursday September 3rd 1999. McCue and Dollimore, with guitarist Oliver John Holding, were an overnight sucsess. The 'Gift Song' was born. At summer 99 McCue and Dollimore met some 12-year-old wierdo called Robert, who everyone called Spare, as he was officially the spare brother of the Hemmens clan. The three wrote another Gift song at the next Gift course, in April 2000. In an effort to make their song be an even bigger sucsess second time round, McCue and Dollimore both moved to instrumental positions: McCue to his Les Paul and Dollimore to his beloved ivories. 'Back In The G. I. F. T.' was another Beatles' song re-worked, and had the potential to raise the roof on the Thursday evening talent show. Hemmens was an able pianist and beginner guitarist but in the end only sang (and wore a dress). It was at that talent show, on 6th April 2000, that The Bricklayers were born. They were introduced as a comedy act - In fact 'Back In The G. I. F. T.' was only one part of a whole show by The Bricklayers. It began with a 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' spoof (Dollimore Chris Tarrant and McCue the contestant) followed by Hemmens doing a hilarious strip routine to reveal dress and make up. With the audience already chocking with laughter, The Brickies took to the stage and began their song. Things seemed to be going okay, but then disaster struck as a snapped string on McCue's guitar ground the song to a hault after verse two. A guitar was borrowed by Gifter Larry, but not only was the guitar out of tune and a hideous exuse for an instruement but was two loud. The song fell apart once again, and now the damage had truly began. As Dollimore dispaired, McCue began randomly jamming and jumping on the spot whilst Hemmens stood there in a dress looking like a ponse. The audience loved it. A third attempt finished the song, after which Dollimore, McCue and Hemmens retreated backstage. Ironically, this disaster made The Bricklayers. Although the song had been disatriously performed, the gig was one of the most memorable of all Gift talent show acts, and to this day it's considered the height of bad manners to take a Gift song seriously and, from a musical point of view, play it well. The Bricklayers returned to The Croft in August 2000. It was the senior Gift course, with many of the elder Gifters attending their last ever course. It was always going to be an emotional night, and The Bricklayers' choice of song was perfect. Dollimore managed to persuade McCue and Hemmens to have a complete change of mood to what the Bricklayers were used to, but still keep up the Beatles tradition. 'The Long And Winding Road' became 'The Long And Winding Road (That Leads To The Croft)'. Although chiefly written by Dollimore, McCue contributed the hilarious middle eight (the lines about the chicken pies smelling of piss raised a few laughs). The song was a huge sucsess, easily equal to that of the summer 99 sucsess, although this time The Bricklayers were one of several outstanding acts in one of The Croft's greatest ever talent shows. The song 'The Long And Winding Road (That Leads To The Croft)' remains a timeless classic of contempary song and the definative Gift anthem. |
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| A long time ago, in a village far, far away ... |
| Above: McCue and Dollimore (and Hemmens, just out of picture) as they were in the summer of 1999. Below: Dollimore, McCue and John-Holding perform 'The Ballad Of The Croft' |
| Above: The Brickies pose for the cameras the day after thier disastrous but memorable Easter 2000 gig. Below: An early McCue, summer 2000. |
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