Private Emotion Author: Patch E-mail: patchkhan1@hotmail.com Rating: *strong* PG-13 Hi everyone! Just a little note, if possible try reading this fic while listening to 'Private Emotion' by Ricky Martin. I'd hiiiiiiighly recommend it buuuut it's no problem if you can't, read it anyway! Oh and on a side note, my cat has moved up from eating doritos and cheese curls to guava jam. ^_^;;;;; I tell ya she gets her weirdness from me... or maybe it's the other way around @_@ Enjoy reading! Patch. Insert Standard Disclaimer Here It was late afternoon and the church was empty, the guests having gone to the hall for a late lunch. She stood just a few feet away from where they had said their vows hours earlier, the wooden altar covered in a cream cloth; a witness to what had passed hours earlier. The sun was high and its rays shined through the colored windows and she could see the dust particles dancing in certain areas in front of her. It was so quiet, so peaceful that she could hear the faint sounds of birds chirping outside and their wings fluttering as they made nests in the grooves of the church's roof. She had come here to be alone... just to think... just to reflect. The material of her dress rustled slightly as she moved towards a pew. Her fingers skimmed along the smooth wood and she smiled slightly remembering how her mother had wept discreetly as her father wrapped his arm around her waist, beaming with pride for his only daughter. Yes, she, Tsukino Usagi was married. Wait, she thought, she was Chiba Usagi now. She mouthed the words and found she liked how it sounded. Oh, she had done this hundreds of times before whether it be when she was daydreaming in class or dreaming in the middle of the night. But now she could say the two names together and feel pride, knowing it was real, true and solid. Every endless night has a dawning day Every darkest sky has a shining ray And it shines on you baby can't you see You're the only one who can shine for me She slowly walked back to the altar and climbed a step so that she was right next to it. To love and cherish forever, those were the words she had repeated shyly, not realizing the gravity of them until now. Yes, she would love and cherish her husband, forever and then an eternity beyond that and she would do more than just that. She would be his other half as he would be hers. Footsteps alerted her and she turned slightly to see who it was. Her heart caught in her throat when she saw the picture in front of her. Out of the shadows came Chiba Mamoru, her husband, walking through the sunbeams that filtered through the windows. Strands of his hair fell over his forehead and the sunbeams gave him a surreal look, surrounding him in a heavenly glow. "Mamo-chan..." she breathed. He smiled at her breathlessness and continued to walk slowly towards her. When he reached her, his fingers laced through hers, as he stood next to her. "Usako, my love... my wife." It's a private emotion that fills you tonight And a silence falls between us As the shadows steal the light And wherever you may find it Wherever it may lead Let your private emotion come to me Come to me Many hours later she stood against the hotel window, looking out. It was the first night of their honeymoon, however, the amazing view that lay before her was not on her mind. You're afraid, her mind whispered. Afraid of what? she asked herself. She loved her husband with all of her being, there was no doubt of that. She would be with him forever, at his side, an equal partner. But what about the heartache? She pressed a clenched hand to her chest at the thought. She had been through so many kinds of heartaches with Mamoru. She remembered tasting fear every time she saw him when he had turned evil. She remembered feeling pain when he didn't remember their love. She remembered the agony when he had said their love couldn't exist. She remembered her suffering when he never wrote and then realizing he had been killed (AN: spoileeeer! ^_^). She bent her head as the emotions surged through; she could still remember them so vividly. It was hard to forget. And now that they were married, could she survive another twisting of her heart? Did she dare imagine what it would be like to have those bands tighten around her again, constricting her heart with pain? She inhaled shakily, unbelieving that she could think like this on such a night. She heard the doorknob jiggle and turned her head to see Mamoru walk in. "Everything is set Usa, I fixed the reservations and-" he broke off when he saw the lone tear slide down her cheek. "Usako?" he asked, coming up to her and cupping her cheek. "Gomen ne Mamo-chan, it's just that... it's just... I'm... afraid..." "Usako..." When your soul is tired and your heart is weak Do you think of love as a one way street Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes Can't you see me here, how can you deny "Please don't be upset at me, Mamo-chan, I'm not afraid of... of what will happen between us," she said, blushing, "but I'm afraid of... of..." "I understand Usako, I understand," he brought her to him and she placed her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist as he held her comfortingly. "I'm afraid too, Usa," he began after a few minutes. "I'm afraid that I won't be able to make you happy, that I'll hurt you like I've done so many times in the past," he felt her stiffen and moved back a little to see her face. "That's what you're afraid of too, ne?" She nodded hesitantly and then looked at him. "I'm not doubting your love Mamo-chan, never that, but contrary to what everyone might believe, I guess I'm a little selfish worrying about myself like this. Demo... it hurts so much," she cried, "to see our love being tested again and again. Will it ever stop?"   "No, Usako, I have a feeling it won't stop. The Fates are a funny group and I believe they have more in store for us than we know about." "Damn the Fates," she mumbled, resting her head against his shoulder once again. He chuckled at her response and hugged her tightly. "But thanks in partly to the Fates we were able to meet after being apart for so long. I love you Usako. This feeling in my heart," he placed her hand on his chest, "it's so hard to express but know that you are my other half, now and forever. Usa, do you know what do you do to me?" She gazed up shyly at his question. They stared at each other, she blushing slightly, he smiling tenderly. It was a comfortable silence, and their eyes spoke for them, reaffirming all they needed to know. It's a private emotion that fills you tonight And a silence falls between us As the shadows steal the light And wherever you may find it Wherever it may lead Let your private emotion come to me Come to me "Do you know what you do to me, Mamo-chan?" she finally asked, clutching his shirt lightly. He grinned and swept her up. "I do Usako, I know what I do to you, just as you know what you do to me. You and I were made for each other... perfect." It was his last word before their lips joined and he lay her on the bed. They lay together in complete bliss a little while later, sharing sweet kisses and tender caresses. Life, Usagi thought, is not complete without finding your other half. She lay beside Mamoru listening to his heartbeat slowly return to normal. For some, she pondered, life doesn't need two to make it work, but for others, to have and love a 'significant other' is something necessary, something secure. Mamoru wasn't her life, she couldn't cling to him but he would always be there for her when times were bad and when they were good. But now was not the time to think so seriously, she thought smiling on the inside. She raised her head and looked at him. "Mamo-chan," she giggled, "will this happen every time?" she asked giggling again and gesturing to the sheets. The bed they were on was covered with rose petals. Usagi, herself, was picking petals out of her and Mamoru's hair. Apparently, once they had reached that pinnacle of happiness, rose petals had literally fallen from the ceiling right above them. At first the two had been completely shocked but then Usagi had sighed saying 'how romantic' and then had promptly began teasing her husband. The flower had made itself a fixed part of their lives. Mamoru smiled back lazily, his eyes turning dark as he answered her. "I'm not quite sure, I guess we'll just have to try again and see." She giggled as his mouth covered hers once more. And indeed, rose petals did fall again. Every endless night has a dawning day Every darkest sky has a shining ray It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by But you can find me here till your tears run dry Two weeks later, Mamoru entered the dark and silent apartment, Usagi following closely behind. He stepped back out into the hallway to bring their suitcases in and then closed the door and flipped on the lights. "Welcome to my humble abode," he replied, grinning. Usagi smiled back and then took a deep breath. So many times she had entered this apartment; as a friend, a girlfriend, a fiancee... and now she entered it as a wife. Many would think that she shouldn't be feeling any different for this was probably her one-millionth time coming here, but... she *did* feel different. She felt as though she had come through that doorway for the first time, as a new person entering a new life. "You'll have to excuse the mess," Mamoru began, going to the living room and straightening up some magazines, "I haven't been able to clean this place and it's probably all dusty since I haven't touched anything in two weeks and-" "Mamo-chan," she placed a finger on his lips to silence him, "it's okay, I don't mind at all. Besides, if you want to see a mess, we should take a trip back to my old room. Even on the day I left it, I still couldn't find anything I needed. This is perfect for me." "Demo, it doesn't seem perfect enough for you. I want you to have a nice, clean home where you don't have to stress about cleaning and you can be happy and-" "Mamo-chan, hush. Trust me when I say I'm happy just the way everything is. Why don't you show me around instead?" she asked teasingly. "Of course," he replied, finally loosening up. "How rude of me to forget. If you would be so kind to link arms with me m'lady?" he asked, holding out his arm. She took it and he led her to every part of the apartment, stopping every now and then to give her a sweet kiss. And every time he showed her a different part whether it be a room or a closet, Usagi felt as though she were seeing it through new eyes. The little details she took in, the mental notes she made to herself to fix something here, redecorate a little there. The questions she asked, the suggestions she gave, it was something new to her, but in a way, it was something welcomed. Life had changed and so had she in these past few weeks. "And so concludes your tour of the Chiba apartment," Mamoru finished. "Does the lady have any further questions, comments, or thoughts?" "None whatsoever, my love." "Good." He wrapped an arm around her waist and brought her down to sit with him on the sofa. "So what should we do now?" They stared at each other until Usagi giggled. "Mamo-chan," she sighed, resting her head in the crook of his neck, "I just want to be here with you, right now. Just sit here and be held by you and know that this is all real. Do you mind?" she asked, lifting her head to look at him. "I would haven't it any other way, Usako," he replied, kissing the top of her hair. She sighed again and wrapped her arms around him, as he did the same, one hand stroking her hair. It's a private emotion that fills you tonight And a silence falls between us As the shadows steal the light And wherever you may find it Wherever it may lead Let your private emotion come to me And they stayed there, the rest of the night, their first night back home, held in each other's arms, happy and content. Life, in those hours, was perfect. ~*~*The End*~*~ Now I know many of you might think that the song lyrics didn't go with the story. Choppy, you might say, but when I first heard this song, the scenes I wrote above were the first that came to mind soooooooooooo DEAL! Ahahahahahahaha!!!! Seriously though, I think if you really reeeeeeeally read the lyrics over I think you'd find that they *do* somewhat go with the story. But I'd luv to hear what you guys thought so e-mail me! Patch:-)(-: