Origin of the song title “Prison Sex”
The only vague part of the title that you should question is why I would use “prison” as an adjective to describe sex--conventionally, the two are never recognized as counterparts. However, this vagueness of the word “prison” gradually clarifies as the song progresses when you learn that the persona is a victim (and inevitably the predator) of child molestation. What I have attempted to convey in this song is the strong nexus between sex and prison that the average person doesn’t realize.
The word “prison” is used to describe the sex of child molestation in two different ways. Firstly, it describes the sensation of “no escape” felt by the child prey. But on a greater scheme of things, prison also describes the confinement of the vicious cycle of child molestation and the inescapable transition a prey makes to become a predator. This will become much clearer after I go through my lyrics line-by-line.
But before I begin, I have to address I few things…
Common Misconception: The persona of this song is NOT me as a child. This song is not exclusively about something that happened in my past. I will leave it at that.
Note: Even though the persona in this song is presented as genderless, I will refer to it as a “he” for the sake of brevity.
Note: Unless I state that I am talking about the music video of Prison Sex, I am only talking about the lyrics. Even though Adam Jones’ surrealist interpretation of the lyrics adds much depth to the song, I feel more comfortable just giving you an interpretation of my lyrics. But most importantly, I don’t feel that the plot of the music video perfectly fit over my lyrics which would cause much confusion if I tried to cover them both simultaneously.
Note: This is just a surface look at the meaning of my song. In other words, some of the more cryptic and complex messages that can be found in-between the lines are not given away in this analysis. A magician never fully reveals his trick.
“Prison Sex” the lyrics
*It took so long to remember just what happened.
Reference to repressed memory. The persona is about to unravel what horrid act upon him turned him into a pedophile. From this point on, the lyrics will be describing the abuse that took place during the childhood of the persona.
*I was so young and vestal then,
*you know it hurt me,
This is a direct reference to the persona‘s abuse as a child. He looks back at how he was a young virgin “then” suggesting that such a state is no longer the case. (The idea of virginity comes from the meaning of “vestal“). The persona is saying that his child molester knew he was hurting him but did it anyways.
Notice how so far, the lyrics have been in the past tense. The next section of this song will be written in the present tense because the persona will be reenacting what he felt as a child when he was abused. There is always a reason for the changes in tense in this song. Keep your eye out for any other changes in tense or person as you continue to read through the song.
*but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive
*even if signs seem to tell me otherwise.
These two lines are referring to how the persona “played dead” whenever his abuser entered his room. While in this state of complete submission, the persona hides all signs of life. Yet, no matter how good the he is at playing dead, he still has to breathe.
Keep this idea of “playing dead” in your head because it becomes very important to the main message of this song.
*I've got my hands bound,
*my head down, my eyes closed,
*and my throat wide open.
These lines further describe how the persona was, in a sense, dead. The persona’s body resembles a corpse with a gaping throat and mouth.
*Do unto others, what has been done to me,
*Do unto others, what has been done to you?
He’s asking if he should repeat these horrible acts that had been passed on to him by his abuser. (We can assume that the persona’s abuser was also abused as a child because child molestation is a cycle)
*I'm treading water,
*I need to sleep a while.
He is in a bad situation where he can only wait for help hopelessly
*My lamb and martyr, you look so precious.
At this point in the song, the persona is now an adult and is no longer recounting his past. Instead, he is now describing the child that he has now chosen to abuse. The persona describes his “precious” child as a “martyr”. This “precious” child is described by the persona as his “martyr“, because the child is used to die for his cause. This death is the same “playing dead” that the persona did when he was a child. However, the child will not remain dead because he is not just any martyr; he is Jesus, the “lamb”. (In other words, the child will be resurrected)
This all goes along with the motif of finding good in evil (or the light in darkness) that is expressed later on in the song.
*Won't you come on up closer,
*close enough so I can smell you.
*I need you to feel this,
*I can't stand to burn too long.
*Release in sodomy.
*Oh, for one sweet moment I am whole.
The sin of child abuse is burning the persona. This is where the song becomes much more graphic. The act of sexual abuse actually hurts the persona, who “can’t stand to burn to long”, almost as much as it hurts the child. This suggests that the desire of child molestation is more like a curse that gets passed on.
The only brief time that the persona can be released from this suffering is during the climax of molesting someone else. “Oh, for one sweet moment I am whole.”
*Do unto you now, what has been done to me,
*Do unto you now, what has been done?
Here again is the question whether the persona should go through with repeated the horrible acts done onto him. However, notice the change in pronoun from “I” to “You”. This signifies the persona’s transition from abused to abuser has been completed but we never hear the explanation for his choice. This is also shown in the music video from 3:36-4:02 as the abuser reprograms the persona and then slowly steps out of the scene and allows what he has done to take effect. From now on the persona is no longer reminiscing the past. Now he is describing abusing his own victim as the vicious cycle of child molestation continues.
*You're breathing so I guess you're still alive
*even if signs seem to tell me otherwise.
*Won't you come on a bit closer,
*close enough so I can smell you.
*I need you to feel this.
*I need this to make me whole.
*Release in sodomy.
This is identical to the first verse except the "I" has been replaced with a "You" suggests that the persona (the once child) is now the molester since he is the one telling the story.
The part where he says "I need this to make me whole" further proves the fact that the climax gives him relief from his sinful curse, and although temporary, he must do it because of his own internal suffering. He "need[s] this to make [him] whole" because he needs to feed off of the kids pain. These lines show that the climax not only brings a physical sensation to an abuser, but also allows an emotional catharsis that temporarily relieves the suffering caused by the curse. And thus, a glimmer of light is found in the darkness.
*For I am your witness and
*blood and flesh can be trusted.(X2)
*And only this one holy medium brings me peace of mind.
These lines go along with the motif of the light in darkness. The last line in this section explains why child molestation is a perpetual cycle and will never cease to exist. In a very sick way, you find out that the climax that the abuser has is the “one holy medium that brings [him] peace of mind.” Once a child is the victim of child abuse, he will suffer his entire life. The suffering is so unbearable that the victim must find someone else to abuse in attempt to put an end to their pain (even if it is temporary).
*Got your hands bound, your head down,
*your eyes closed.
*You look so precious now.
At this point in the song, the sick transition has taken place. The kid once molested (the persona of the song) has now grown up to be the creature he once feared.
*Show me something
*Thought I could make it end
*Thought I could wash the stains away
*Thought I could break the circle if I
*Slipped right into your skin
Finally, the persona has realized for himself that child molestation is a vicious circle that never ends; those who were molested grow up to be child molesters and the cycle continues. It was the persona’s instinct that tricked him into attacking a new victim and thus, the persona is unwillingly a part of the circle/cycle.
*So sweet was your surrender
*We have become one
This basically means that now that the person abused the child they have become "one", or in other words, a part of the same cycle
*I have become my terror
Again, this means persona has become what he has once feared.
*My lamb and martyr, this will be over, soon.
The persona is now coaxing his new victim. In reality this is just the beginning of the new victims cursed life and the circle continues.
*You look so precious.(X4)
*You look so precious, now,
*You look so precious...
These lines purposely bring no conclusion to the song and their repetition suggests that there will be no ending to the cycle.
The cycle of child abuse taken from “Prison Sex”
A victim of child molestation dies as a child. The child is used as a “martyr” by the abuser as a sacrifice to relieve his pain. After this childhood of death, the child is resurrected like Jesus, the “Lamb“. The one thing that changes is that when the child comes back to life, he is the one thing that he feared most. And the cycle repeats.
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