| Ambitions |
| Doesn't it really annoy you how you're meant to know what you want to do with the rest of your life when you're only 16? Well it annoys me. Alot. And so, one day, when i was very bored and fed up with trying to decide what the hell to do when i leave school, a strange idea began to form in my twisted little mind. I decided that i wasn't going to go to college or anywhere else.....i was going on a little crusade. But where could i go, i hear you ask? Well, it wasn't until i went camping with my dear friend Saria and her family in Cumbria that a strange plan formed. It seemed, to my suprise, that Saria also had no desire to do anything and was fed up of all these demands ......and so we make a few simple plans for our future. We decided that we want to live life to the full- sod college courses and all that crap. And so, if you feel the same....read on... |
| First step Well....you know how some people take a year out between college and uni? Well, we decided we wanted our year out to start with....basically so we could do fun stuff before we actually have to work. This was where we hatched our plan to travel the world...with £70... our main stop on this journey being Australia, as we have an overwhelming desire to meet Steve Irwin and purchase a souvenir spoon from him *ahem*. After that, we plan to travel to Egypt for no apparent reason; the rainforest to contract odd diseases; some clubbing destination (for Gayle cos she moaned); and other random destinations, hitch hiking all the way. And thats the sane part of our mapped out lives.... |
| Second step Once we return things get much more interesting. After a few days rest, we (me, Sarah and John), plan to visit a mental asylum, as it is an ambition of mine. But thats not the only motive for us going there....we must get certified insane. Why you ask? Well, number one, so that i can frame the certificate and mount it on my wall, number two so that we have excuses for our random outbursts/talking to ourselves/general insane behaviour, and number three......well, you'll understand later once i have explained the third step of our journey. If they then decide to lock us up in the aylum, we will get out some twisted way, using our useless knowledge collected from our lessons with Mr Lynch. |
| Third step Once we have escaped, we must move quickly, for the authoritites will be in search of us. As some of you already know, we have found the pirate ship for our next step.....at Phantasialnd in Germany. So here is our next destination. We will, in fact, get there by stowing away and hitchhiking, which we will be skilled in due to our world trip. Then we will capture the pirate ship using an undercover operation, and steer it back to Britain. Our crew, waiting at the secret destinational port, consists of many insane people that we happen to know and have agreed to join us in our crusade. Click below to find out more about our crew and our ship in general. |
| Fourth Step You thought that was it didn't you....well.....you're wrong. Our plans are far from finnished. In fact they are just getting started. Anyhoo, once we've boarded the ship, we plan to sail the seven seas as pirates (in authentic costume of course), attacking innocent cruise ships and stealing all their treasure.On the way we will find all the characters from "To Kill A Mockingbird" in real life, starting in Alabama, and re-visit the Stop Hotel in France. Once we have a sufficient bounty, we shall return to port, and hope for a swift escape from any police/government officials that may be tracking us. And, in the unlikely event that we are caught, we'll have our certificates of insanity to fall back on, leaving us less likely to be imprisoned. (Motive number 3 on the second step of our journey.) In the event that we escape from the authorities, we plan to open our own business... |
| Fifth Step With our share of the pirate ship bounty, we will buy a nice plot of land on which we can farm. Sheading our pirate clothes for cornish famer style getup, it will be all hands on deck when we begin to set up the farm. Named "A Random Farm" (cos it will look funny on maps/signs), we plan to have animals- but no ordinary animals. Oh no. We are going for monkeys, fish, three legged sheep, and abnormally huge animals. Why three legged sheep you ask? Well, because they will be genetically modified specifically to have three legs. Why, you ask again? Because that way- sadistic it may be...but they wont be able to run off. However, me and sar then realised that we'd have problems when it came to slaughtering the animals, being of squemish natures. We did come up with a solution...and that was to genetically modify them again so that they have similar heads to the people that we don't like, thus making it easier for us. Anyway, enough of that. |
| Sixth Step The fish from our farm play an important part in the next step of our future. It has been our ambition to own a take away place since we saw one in Cumbria named "The Tickled Trout Take Away." In fact, it has become our ambition to own one called just that. So, thats what we plan to do next. With Gayle as manager, Gemma as server person, John as cook and me and Sar as...well, part owners, it should be a great success, im sure you'll agree. (by the way, there are still some positions open...so, if you're interested...leave a message in the guestbook.) Now unfortunately, it is here, once "The Tickled Trout" has been established, that me and Sarah part company for a while. Whilst Sarah and Gayle remain near our shop and open a pub together, I go off on a crusade of my own... |
| Seventh Step This next crusade will be very very taxing for me. You see, im working on asking the bloke upstairs if he'll change the law so women can be the pope. Cos thats what i plan to do next. That is, of course, if they'll let me . But i'd try reallllllllly hard...honest! *ahem* If and when i become pope, i shall make sure that everythings running smoothly, then after a while, i'll retire and return to the farm, where i will write a novel about the interesting things ive done in my life. And if thats a success, i might even write another. For the sheer hell of it. |
| Other random ambitions of mine: Become a voodoo master, become a tiddlywinks champion, meet Brendan from Wheatus (likewise- all members of Blink 182, Ash and Alien Ant Farm), drink a gallon of coffee in half an hour, become a "phat choones" expert and develop my own "choone", purchase an item of clothing previously owned by Elton John, meet Anne Robinson, play on the weakest link, meet the translators of "all your base", finnish "the return of the mockingbird" and make it a hit at the box office. |
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