For the past five years, my High School has spent 17.5 million dollars in renovation, because it has grown so big and in need of new facilities and more space. However, along with this expansion, our brilliant school board has decided that surrounding town’s children should come to our school (because the surrounding towns are shitholes full of incest…yay, I can’t wait for Jimmy and his girlfriend/sister to come to Spanish class with me). So along with more space comes more ignorant students, who use the main hallways because they haven’t learned the back ways yet (gee, we’ve only been there four months now…). The major problem with that is it impedes with my progress between my Geometry and my World Perspective II class, where I have NO other choice but to use the main hallway. There is this ONE spot where it backs up, and I stand there for a good three minutes before I get going again. Traffic in NYC can’t touch asshole Freshmen who don’t know their asses from their mouths. So without further delay, I present…
PEOPLE IN MY WAY SHOULD BE SHOT…HARD.
Mild-mannered Reverend Jason strolls through the hallway, but shows the anticipation of being stuck behind stupid fuckers on their way to continue with their meaningless lives. “God damn it” He says aloud, and the camera zooms in on the mass of cocksuckers in The Reverend’s way. “THAT’S IT!” He yells, and the camera zooms in on his face, which is fraught with frustration. Audioslave – Cochise hits, and the slow motion begins. Slow motion is the best, because it’s so friggin’ cool. Anyway, we pan to a new camera angle. The Reverend is wearing a long black trench coat (with dark sunglasses), pure Matrix style. He flicks open the coat to reveal two sawed-off 12 gauge shotguns. He whips ‘em out and does some flip thing as he starts firing. The camera finds the perfect angle to highlight the moves Jason is making (guns blasting, sweat dripping off his brow as he works hard to kill) while still catching the people getting hit and falling. The audience will be on the edge of their seats, because it’s BEYOND COOL. After the shells have been expelled, no one is left in Jason’s way. He finds his backpack, a hot chick, and continues on his journey to his World Perspectives class. Women flash him, because they love him so much. The End.
Oh my God, I want to make this movie. That would be pure ownage. All the killing and slow motion action…like the Matrix, but the killing would be for a better reason than the human race under domination. Pfft. I could kill all those damn robot things any day. It takes guts to clear out Freshmen.